


Afterspark Podcast: Let's Play War for Cybertron

by specspectacle, Twilight-Owls (LadyTorix)



Series: Afterspark Podcast: Let's Plays [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: War for Cybertron
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Embedded Video, Let's Play, Podcast, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours, Swearing, Video, Video Game, Video Game Review, YouTube, transcript, video game commentary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 67,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24107212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/specspectacle/pseuds/specspectacle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyTorix/pseuds/Twilight-Owls
Summary: Join Afterspark Podcast as they do a co-op playthrough of Transformers: War for Cybertron.
Series: Afterspark Podcast: Let's Plays [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739347
Comments: 3





	1. Dark Energon

**Author's Note:**

> **C:** Chezni **| [CS]** Chezni’s screen
> 
>  **O:** Owls | **[OS]** Owls’ screen
> 
>  **S:** Specs **| [SS]** Specs’ screen
> 
> Events happening in-game will be denoted by _[bracketed italics]_.
> 
> Chezni and Specs are playing on keyboard and mouse.
> 
> Owls is playing on an Xbox controller.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War for Cybertron - Decepticon Campaign  
> Chapter 1: Dark Energon  
> Or Megatron's epic quest for space crack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The servers on this game were shut down last month. So if you happen to know anything about circumventing the online requirement to play co-op, please message Owls or leave a comment, because we're at a bit of a loss here.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello everybody, I'm Owls!

S: I'm Specs.

O: And this is my hubby, Chezni. He's going to be joining us as we do a co-op playthrough of _War for Cybertron_ \- I think it's _War for Cybertron_ it's not _Fall for [of] Cybertron_ is it? I cannot keep them straight.

S: No, no, it’s _War for Cybertron._

C: _Fall for Cybertron,_ that sounds like a dating novel.

S: Um-hmm.

O: _War for Cybertron!_ It says it right at the top of the window, the window is my friend. Anyway so we're going to be a co-op- or we're gonna do a co-op playthrough of this game. This is the first time we have tried to do a three player- three people, recording... let's play so here's hoping we don't make any hugish- er, or you know, huge mistakes here!

C: We'll clearly make many mistakes. [laughs]

O: Well, hopefully not _too_ many. Anyway, we are gonna be starting with the Decepticon campaign. The way this game is set up it is split up between the Decepticon campaign and the Autobot campaign. The Decepticon campaign comes first chronologically so we're gonna start with that. So, as you can see on the screen right now this is who we're gonna be playing.

_[OS: Character selection screen. Characters are assigned as follows:_

_Chezni - Brawl_

_Specspectacle - Barricade_

_Twilight-Owls - Megatron]_

O: One other caveat I need to let you guys know, is that for some ungodly reason um, every time we enter a cinematic the game jumps the volume up about 50 fucking levels. So if that sounds kind of wonky, or ya hear a huge jump, Chezni’s gonna do is best to remove it from the actual video but that is why you might hear a volume spike. We can't figure out why it's doing it because it seems to be something the game is doing innately.

C: It's- it's also why in- at the beginning of every cinematic all of us are going to go deaf.

O: [laughs]

C: And we won’t be able to hear each other because we're frantically going to be turning it down.

O: Eh? Eh? What’d you say Chezni? What’d ya say? Um, I think that’s it, unless you two have anything to add.

S: You’ll get to see me be really bad at this because the last time I played a first-person shooter for any length of time was probably like, three or four years ago with TF2. So...

O: It should shock-

S: This is going to be exciting.

O: [laughs] Uh, it should shock no one that I'm playing Megatron for every single goddamn Decepticon level I can. So, we ready?

C: Ready.

S: I’m ready.

O: Ready your um, ready your volume... thing because it’s gonna open with a cinematic.

_[OS: Owls clicks “Start Game”]_

C: Right, right.

O: And uh, our ears are gonna hate us all so, here we go.

_[A cinematic opens with a text crawl being narrated by Steve Blum. Players interject over the narration.]_

O: Oh hi Steve Blum.

_[Narrator: Civil War has ravaged Cybertron. Homeworld to the Transformers millions of years. Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, recently discovered an ancient power that will give him the edge to win over the hated Autobots.]_

O: Sp-

C: He does a mean Starscream.

O: Space crack. [laughs] He found space crack!

_[Narrator: Called Dark Energon, this power remains locked away in an orbital station under the protection of a sky commander named, Starscream.]_

O: Ehhh?

S: So is this implying that Starscream was an Autobot at one point?

_[Voices cut off by various muted vocalizations of distress, as the game cuts to different cinematic.]_

C: Ow!

O: I hate cinematics now. [laughs]

C: [laughs]

_[A very pointy space ship flies through space shooting at various other ships, Autobots, or any other random structures in it’s way.]_

S: God this-

O: This must be the Nemesis mark 0.1, or something?

S: It's the beta version.

O: Yeah.

S: Or the alpha version or something.

O: I know it's not the actual Nemesis

_[We cut to the interior of the spaceship, with Megatron on the bridge and Brawl and Barricade apparently piloting._

_Megatron: Hold your course! Starscream wouldn’t fight with such desperation if the legends weren’t true._

_Barricade: Lord Megatron...you’re CERTAIN it’s here?_

_Megatron: I AM certain Barricade. And when I find it...the balance of this war with the Autobots will finally tip in my favor.]_

O: Also, Steve Blume will be playing Barricade in this, but not Starscream, if I’m remembering properly.

S: Yeah…

_[The Decepticon ship is hit by missiles. An alarm sounds and red lights begin to flash._

_Brawl: Lord Megatron! Stabilizers are failing!_

_Megatron: Maintain your heading, Brawl! Do NOT falter!_

_Barricade: Sublight engines are offline. Shields at 15%!_

_Megatron: Reroute all power to forward guns and thrusters! Full speed ahead!]_

C: What is this, Star Trek? [laughs]

O: I mean, with giant robots, sure?

_[A Decepticon grunt stands up and shouts at Megatron._

_Grunt: But sir! That’s suicide!_

_He is promptly blasted into a wall by a shot from Megatron’s Fusion Cannon._

_Megatron: Any further objections?_

_Megatron turns back towards the bridge._

_Megatron: Ram this warship straight into the heart of that station!]_

O: [wheezing laughter] He’s like, “I don’t have time for this this!”

_[The ship rams the station, things explode.]_

S: Yay.

_[Cut off by various muted vocalizations of distress, as the game swaps to gameplay, causing the volume to jump up for the players again.]_

O: It- oh god dammit, holy shit!

C: [laughing]

_[OS: The three player characters stand up in what remains of their ship._

_Barricade: We’re lucky to have survived that, Megatron._

_Megatron: The strong survive. The weak perish.]_

S: Well that went up to like, 100!

_[OS: Text on the screen reads: “New Objective: Escape the crash site,” only you know without punctuation, because games are cool like that._

_Grunt: Lord Megatron! The ships reactor core is failing -- explosion imminent!_

_Megatron: MOVE, Decepticons! Double-time!_

_Grunt: The core’s about to detonate!_

_Megatron: Go! Go! GO!]_

C: [laughs] It’s like you guys were actually being crashed into something.

O: [back to normal volume] Something like that!

_[OS: Various tutorials and button hotkeys pop up on the screen and then minimize to the HUD on the right hand side of the screen.]_

O: Okay, now that I have that turned down uh, I guess, let us go?

_[OS: Megatron moves through the environment as various debris flies through the air.]_

C: Yeah, I'll just follow you guys and I'll be back up I guess.

S: Well, I am following Owls, because... I get lost in video games.

O: As you should! I'm playing as Megatron! [laughs]

C: Alright, I'll follow Specs. We’ll just be a tr- a train.

O: If I remember where the hell to go. Oh, we gotta go up here.

_[OS: Megatron jumps up platforms._

_Grunt: It’s falling apart! Watch out!]_

C: Specs don't die, cuz then I won't know where to go. I'm like an ant.

S: [laughs] I’m su-

O: Chezni really does have [a] terrible sense of direction.

_[Grunt: Megatron! This way!_

_Grunt 2: Over here!_

_In-game cinematic: The ship explodes and the path behind Barricade, Brawl, and Megatron is blocked by debris.]_

O: Okay, that doesn't count as a damn cinematic!

S: So-

C: No, because it's rendered in-game.

O: Yeah, I know.

_[A device on the ground transforms in front of the player group, Brawl and Barricade pull out their guns and point them at it.]_

O: Everything transforms on Cybertron!

S: Technically we're not on Cybertron, and this is just a... [sighs]

_[A giant hologram of Starscream appears from the transformed device._

_Starscream: I am Starscream, and I have protected my station for over a thousand years!]_

S: How old are you, Starscream?

_[Megatron pushes Brawl and Barricade out of the way and steps forward._

_Megatron: I am Megatron, leader of the Decepticons!]_

O: And I have lava in my mouth.

[ **Note:** When Megatron talks his mouth is lit in the same way as his optics, meaning it is also a deep red, lit from within.]

O and C: [laughs]

_[Megatron: This space station is Decepticon property! Surrender immediately!_

_Starscream: Whoever you are, you’ve traveled a long way just to meet your doom!]_

S: Starscream just wants to be big all the time.

C: [laughs]

O: Oh, everybody wants to be big in this game.

S: [sighs]

O: Megatron will have a giant talking head later, I assure you.

_[The giant Starscream hologram disappears and some sentry guns drop down and begin shooting at the party._

_OS: Game swaps over to gameplay. Megatron is shooting at the sentry guns with his Fusion Cannon.]_

S: Am I supposed to be shooting something? Probably yes.

_[SS: Barricade is running around behind Brawl and Megatron, as the guns appear to be primarily firing on Megatron.]_

O: Yes.

C: The guns on the walls.

_[OS: Megatron fires on the last gun destroying it.]_

O: Alright.

_[OS: Another tutorial pops up for ‘Pickups’.]_

O: Ugh, tutorials. Do we need tutorials? I don’t think we need tutorials… for the most part.

_[OS: Megatron looks around the room before turning around and seeing a box.]_

O: Oh look! Ammo!

_[OS: Megatron smashes the box with his energon mace and picks up the ammo. A nearby door opens._

_“New Objective, Secure the station” appears on HUD._

_Grunt: Hail, Lord Megatron!]_

O: That's right, bitches!

_[OS: Megatron walks through the nearby door, passing by a few Decepticon grunts._

_Megatron: Do not speak unless spoken to.]_

S: Yay...

C: Kiss ass.

O: [laughs]

_[OS: Megatron continues walking down the hallway stopping by a blue glowy box.]_

O: Who needs ammo? Er, health I guess.

_[OS: Barricade comes up to the box and runs through it.]_

S: Sorry, I think I took that.

O: Oh no, it’s fine.

_[Grunt: Its Lord Megatron!_

_Megatron: The honor is all yours.]_

O: Uh, there's more ammo over here, if anybody needs it.

_[SS: Barricade walks up to the ammo box and moves back in forth in front of it.]_

S: Which… is...?

O: Ah, hit the melee button.

S: Oh.

_[SS: Barricade smashes the ammo box with his sword.]_

O: There you go.

S: Ohhh-kay!

_[OS: Megatron follows Brawl down a hallway towards gun fire, and the party begins shooting at the sentry guns on the walls._

_Grunt: Take out those sentry guns! They’re tearing us apart! I HATE those sentry guns!]_

O: More sentry guns.

C: I love stationary targets.

O: I mean, hey, they’re easier to hit, right?

_[OS: Megatron takes several hits from one of the sentry guns.]_

O: [quietly] Oh god dammit, oh!

_[OS: Megatron takes cover behind a pillar and continues firing. The party defeats the sentry guns.]_

C: So, what's going on here? Hold on, like, explain the plot to a foreigner like me.

O: Okay, okay, okay.

_[OS: Owls pauses the game.]_

C: Like, what is happening?

O: I paused, can you guys pause? I was going to explain to- to Chezni-

C: No, the game doesn't pause when you pause.

_[OS: Owls unpauses. And heads toward were the rest of the party have gone on ahead.]_

O: Okay, interesting.

C: [laughs]

O: Um, so Megatron has basically been like, “Hey! I heard y’all got space crack. Let's go pick up that sweet, sweet space crack.” Even though that makes no SENSE because in Prime clearly Dark Energon wasn't a thing he knew about already.

_[OS: Megatron interacts with a device that opens a door and the party heads into the next room where some Autobots are seen running in the distance._

_Autobot: There they are! Move ahead and cut them off in Storage Area Beta! Move! Move!]_

O: Umm... but yeah so we're- we’re getting here because apparently there's some Dark Energon and we need some sweet, sweet space crack.

C: Right, and this is the- this game is the same continuity as Prime, right?

O: APPARENTLY. Which is why what I just said makes absolutely no sense.

S: Supposedly. It’s supposedly in the same continuity.

_[In-game cinematic: Megatron, Brawl and Barricade walk into an open area in the storage room and a group of Autobot vehicles come down a ramp before transforming into robot mode and shooting at the party._

_Brawl: Oh look. The welcome wagon.]_

S: But that’s kind of garbage.

C: Gotcha.

_[SS: Barricade runs into the fight, firing on enemies.]_

O: Yeah, what Specs said.

C: And- and Starscream is a- is a- an Autobot right now?

_[CS: Brawl runs into the fight, firing on enemies.]_

O: No, I don’t think he’s really anything? I think he's just- he works here, basically.

C: That would hurt his feelings so much.

S: That would-

O: Like, he’s in charge of the spaceship [station].

_[OS: Megatron is running around the room, looking for item boxes._

_Megatron: Those fools mean to catch us in an ambush at the next door!_

_Barricade: Fat chance. We can use that crane to reach the crash tunnel and flank them.]_

S: He’s probably supposed to be neutral, or something?

O: Yeah, he might be a NAIL [Non-Aligned Indigenous Life-form] at this point, I really don’t know.

C: Gotcha.

_[SS: Barricade walks up to a cyclone looking thing in a corner of the room, that is apparently just set dressing as it does not affect him in any way._

_Brawl: Ambush their ambush, I like it!_

_Megatron: Find the controls to that service arm!]_

S: Ohh… thingy. Uh… E.

_[SS: The screen says ‘E Interact’._

_Barricade turns around and interacts with some controls that control a big arm that moves some boxes around.]_

C: What's going on, Specs?

S: I found the service arm!

O: Heh. [deeper voice] GOOD JOB!

A: [laugh]

_[OS: Autobots enter onto a platform higher up in the room and begin shooting at the party.]_

O: I’m sorry.

C: No, what are you talking about!? You need to do that voice through the whole thing now.

S: [laughs]

O: Oh god, and then, you only want that cuz I wouldn’t be able to talk-

C: [laughs]

O: -for like, three days! [laughs]

_[OS: Megatron transforms into a tank momentarily before returning to robot mode and shooting all the enemies on the platform._

_Megatron: I shall lead the way!]_

S: Oh, okay. [laughs]

O: I love explosions in the morning.

C: There- there were guys up there, I saw them-

O: What guys?

C: -then they disappeared!

O: What guys? What guys, Chezni? What guys?

_[CS: Brawl struggles to jump on some boxes, before finally reaching the top and briefly transforming into vehicle mode._

_(COM) Soundwave: Megatron -- Soundwave here. Establishing a forward base._

_Megatron: Transmit your coordinates, Soundwave -- and I want everything ready upon my arrival.]_

C: Well, one of these days I'm gonna figure out how to jump.

_[CS: Brawl jumps into an area that has blasts of fire periodically coming out of huge vents on the right hand side of the screen.]_

S: I don't know where you guys- oh, there you are.

O: Should I wait?

_[CS: Barricade jumps down beside Brawl and runs forward, stopping in front of one of the huge blasts of fire coming out of the wall.]_

C: Hey Specs, why don't you go first?

S: [laughs] No thank you!

O: It’s not that hard, just time it! [laughs]

_[CS: Barricade goes forward, but Brawl remains behind as another blast of fire comes out of the vent in front of him.]_

C: I don't wanna, I'm scared.

O: Are you a warrior, or aren't you, you pussy? [wheezing laughter]

_[CS: Brawl makes it through the fire and joins up with the rest of the group, as they continue forward.]_

C: I don't know! What's my character’s personality?

O: Oh, that’s a terrible insult. He doesn’t have one. [laughs]

C: [laughs]

S: Um...

O: He big, he shoot!

_[OS: Megatron walks to the edge of a platform and looks down onto another room with various boxes, another Starscream hologram and several Autobots. And then makes the mistake of picking up a Magma Frag Launcher (Mortar) off the ground and equipping it._

_Autobot: Starscream! The ambush is set. They won’t make it past us._

_Starscream: I shall hold you to that soldier._

_Autobot: Yes, sir!_

_The Starscream hologram disappears.]_

S: He’s big and he’s-

C: Right, so I’m a red shirt, got it.

S: ...he's a tank.

_[SS: Barricade sees a console and walks over to it._

_Barricade: This is almost too easy.]_

S: _Ohhh…_ E… to interact.

_[OS: Megatron is shooting the mortar, ineffectively.]_

S: _Ohh…_ I got… a thing?

_[OS: Megatron shoots a mortar round right in front of himself and then backs up until after the mortar explodes.]_

O: Oops, ahh… that is not where I wanted that to go.

_[CS: Brawl is high up inside some of sort open vaguely bridge-like structure shooting down at the Autobots below.]_

C: I'm just up here in a bridge I don't… see like, any enemies.

S: Because you’re not in the right spot-

O: Where are you?

C: I'm in a ceiling bridge!

O: How.

_[SS: Barricade is shooting enemies from his and Megatron’s vantage point.]_

C: I don't know else to describe it.

_[(COM) Soundwave: Alert -- hostiles inbound!_

_Brawl: There they are!_

_Megatron: Crush them!]_

O: Oh my god! Okay, that’s [the mortar] just, it's completely useless from this angle apparently.

_[OS: Megatron jumps up and begins floating in the area with his special ability, while continuing to ineffectively shoot the mortar._

_New Objective: Meet Soundwave at the Forward Base.]_

O: [Huffs] I hate grenade launchers.

_[CS: Brawl jumps down from the ceiling bridge, getting hit by Autobot bullets while he’s falling.]_

C: So we're literally just here to-

O: Get space crack.

C: To- to take Dark Energon?

O: Yes. To get space crack.

C: Okay, and we're just murdering everyone on this ship [station], cuz we don’t care?

_[OS: Megatron is at ground level, shooting at Autobots before going down.]_

[ **Note:** Once a character is downed, the party has a certain amount of time to get to them and revive them before they self destruct and the party must restart from a checkpoint.]

O: Argh! Dammit. Uh, somebody could- if uh, something could, you know, revive your amazing leader, that would be great.

_[CS: Brawl moves across the room to get to Megatron.]_

C: Of course, it would be my-

S: I don’t know where you are?

_[SS: Barricade runs down a ramp, Brawl and Megatron are nowhere in sight.]_

O: I’m…. gonna die.

C: It would be my- oh no!

_[OS: Megatron is still collapsed on the floor, Brawl approaches but gets shoot and collapses just before reaching Megatron.]_

O: [laughs and thumps desk]

C: I’ve failed you my liege.

O: Everybody die now!

C: All right, Specs, it's all up to you!

_[CS: A collapsed Brawl shoots at enemies before getting a “Mission Failed Screen”.]_

O: Oh god.

C: Oh gosh.

_[OS: Owls selects, “Restart From Last Checkpoint”.]_

O: Okay, restart the last checkpoint, that sounds good. Somebody else-

C: That was how it could have happened!

O: [laughs] Yeah. Somebody else grab that fucking thing right there, because I am not good with it, okay. I'm like _really_ bad with it.

C: Oh, what is it?

_[OS: The party spawn in the area immediately after the walls spouting fire and are up on the ledge overlooking the room with the Autobots below. Brawl walks over and picks up the mortar launcher.]_

C: Oh gosh, it's a grenade launcher.

O: Yes! It’s what I was complaining about.

_[OS: The scene plays out as before._

_Autobot: Starscream! The ambush is set. They won’t make it past us._

_Starscream: I shall hold you to that soldier._

_Autobot: Yes, sir!]_

C: I hate grenade launchers.

S: I don’t know what I’m supp- _ohhh~_

_[OS: The party kills the first wave of Autobots. Brawl has jumped off the platform Megatron and Barricade are on._

_(COM) Soundwave: Alert -- hostiles inbound!]_

O: There's my baby.

_[CS: New Objective: Meet Soundwave at the forward base._

_Brawl: There they are!_

_Megatron: Crush them!]_

C: So, I'm confused. You can pick up things from the bodies but you don't... what do the- what does it do?

_[OS: Megatron is standing on the ledge shooting at the Autobots below.]_

O: I... I'm not really sure? I don't know if sometimes it's health, or if it's money, or what the deal is.

C: I feel like it's money.

O: I don't remember. 

[ **Note:** In campaign mode the enemy drops are apparently Energon, which helps refill your skills, but in multiplayer escalation (battle) mode the drops are money.]

_[SS: Barricade is running around on the ground shooting at Autobots before being shot at by an Autobot on a platform and collapsing.]_

S: Oh, I'm- I'm dead.

C: Oh shoot, I got ya.

_[CS: Brawl runs towards Barricade, dodging the same Autobot on the platform.]_

O: Okay.

_[OS: Megatron is taking cover behind a crate, and shoots the offending platform Autobot with his Fusion Cannon.]_

C: Hang in there uh… other Decepticon guy! ...Barricade!

_[SS: Barricade is back on his feet.]_

S: Yup.

_[OS: Megatron is returning fire with an Autobot and runs out of Fusion Cannon ammo. He transforms into a tank and moves around the crate and blasts the Autobot.]_

O: Dammit.

S: Where’s the heal? I need the heals!

O: I need to heal and I need ammo,

_[Megatron: Bow in the presence of Megatron!_

_(COM) Soundwave: Megatron. We await your arrival.]_

C: Oh, I think I found some ammo.

O: Oh, there’s health! I need health, I’m gonna take this.

_[OS: Megatron walks over to a health chest and busts it open, picking up the health.]_

S: Take the health, oh..

_[SS: Barricade begins shooting at some Autobots in a hallway behind the now opened door.]_

O: I also am completely out of ammo, which is way I had picked up the grenade launcher, because Megatron has like very, very, few shots.

_[CS: Brawl transformers in his car mode and continues to fire on the Autobots, killing all of them with his tank alt’s more powerful gun.]_

S: Is this something I can shoot at?

O: Good question, also- do you guys see any ammo?

C: I...I don't at the moment. There's a thing with a little-- what the!?!

_[SS: The party enters the door and a giant holographic Starscream appears in the center of the room._

_Starscream: Megatron! I though you’d be scrap metal by now. Your survival… intrigues me.]_

O: That’s health.

S: Yeah, that’s the heals.

O: So, somebody should grab that because I’m full-

_[OS: The party makes their way through the room, Megatron stops near a health box._

_Megatron: I shall not be denied, Starscream. Surrender your Dark Energon program to me immediately!]_

C: I've got two bars. Specs, what's your health?

S: I'm fully healed right now. I think this is ammo?

O: AMMO!

_[OS: Megatron smashes an ammo box._

_Starscream: Dark Energon…? Are you MAD? Dark Energon brings only death and chaos!]_

C: What is Starscream yelling about?

S: I stopped caring.

C: [laughs]

O: Dark Energon. Space crack. He’s yelling about space crack guys, obviously.

_[OS: The party enters a hallway, and sentry guns begin to fire on them._

_Megatron: I am COUNTING on it._

_Brawl: Megatron -- when this is over, can I rip off Starscream’s head and boot it into space? Please?]_

C: [laughs]

S: I think that's your character.

C: I think you're right. I’m apparently a brute.

_[Megatron: Patience, Brawl. Starscream knows this station inside and out. He may yet be of use to us.]_

S: Yes, I mean you’re a tank.

_[SS: Barricade moves towards some Autobots that have entered the far side of the hallway and continues shooting. He is then joined by Brawl in tank mode.]_

O: Oh, that's fine, you just be functionist! All tanks are brutes are they? [She says, playing the franchise’s main villain, who is also frequently (not to mention currently), a tank.]

C and S: [laugh]

C: Wha- functionist!?!

O: I'm not kidding, it's a term in the comics. I'm not pulling it out of nowhere.

C: [laughs]

S: Yeah.

C: Is that like the equivalent of a racist?

_[SS: The party jumps up some platforms and enter another hallway._

_(COM) Soundwave: Megatron. Your command post is 83.4% complete._

_Megatron: I expect done when I arrive, Soundwave!]_

O: Yes, only it's like, “Oh, you're a car you can only do X, Y, and Z.”

C: But it's kind of true isn’t it?

O: NO, shut up.

_[OS: Megatron smashes and ammo box and the party is fired on by another sentry gun.]_

C: Like, if you’re tank you can't be an F1 racer.

O: Well, yeah to a certain point, but saying a tank can't be a doctor is kind of a shitty statement.

_[OS: Autobots begin running into the hallway, Megatron takes them out.]_

C: Gotcha.

S: Yeah. Mostly my comment was just that, Brawl is a tank. That is... what he is, and he's a very gruff-

C: Wait-

_[CS: Brawl follows behind Barricade.]_

C: Specs, that's you, right?

S: Yes.

C: Wait I’m like-

S: ~ _Ohhh!_

_[CS: Barricade runs towards a glowy thing and stops in front of it.]_

C: You're like half my size!

S: Yes! I’m a car!

_[OS: Megatron is standing at the other end of the hallway. He turns around and heads towards where Barricade and Brawl are standing before stopping next to Brawl.]_

O: Where are you two? [laughs] “Yes! I’m a car!” Guess what!?! I am taller than all of you!

S: ~ _Ohhh!_

C: Wait, you are?

_[OS: Megatron and Brawl stand next to each other so they can compare their heights.]_

O: I think... we might be close to the same siz- the same height, actually.

C: Alright.

O: We’re both tanks.

_[OS: Megatron begins running back towards the end of the hallway.]_

S: You guys are similar in size, yes.

C: I didn’t realize I was so big!

O: But I’m fucking Megatron. Also, there’s health.

_[OS: Megatron walks up to health box before walking towards the edge of the platform the hallway opened onto._

_Barricade: Wow… that’s a pretty long drop._

_Megatron: Jump you fool! There is nowhere to go but down!]_

C: Oh, I don't need it.

S: I’m- I could use health or ammo, so…

C: I'm at full health.

_[SS: Barricade smashes the health box and turns back to Megatron and Brawl.]_

O: Alright, jump you fools!

C: I…

O: I don’t know how this works, but here we go!

C: You shall not pass?

_[SS: Megatron jumps off the platform, Brawl and Barricade follow shortly after.]_

C: “Fly you fools!” That's what it is.

_[OS: Megatron falls from a large distance and lands heavily, on one knee as the ground/camera shakes._

_Barricade: But...Megatron...how do we get out?]_

O: Pfft, oh my god, he even did the landing he does in Prime.

S: Ammo...where’s the ammo?

O: There is no ammo.

_[OS: The party wanders around the open room, looking for boxes._

_Autobot: The intruders are here! Call in the reinforcements!]_

S: Well, I see heals.

O: There’s only explosions.

_[CS: Brawl walks towards one of the two big mounted turrets in the middle of the room.]_

C: There’s a huge gun in the middle of the room!

O: Oh yeah! You can use that, I think.

C: You're right, you can!

_[CS: Brawl steps into the turret.]_

S: Oh no, there is ammo.

C: Holy-

O: S’cuse me!

_[CS: Megatron steps into the other turret, and Brawl begins shooting at the Autobots who have entered the room on an upper level.]_

C: This thing has infinite bullets.

_[Megatron: Decepticons, mount those turrets! We’ll cut them down with their own weaponry!]_

S: Oh!

_[SS: Barricade walks up to one of the occupied turrets.]_

S: Oh...

C: It’s actually-

O: You can detach the turrets, um...

C: Yeah, you can rip them off.

O: But they will have limited ammo after that.

_[OS: Megatron shoots at the Autobots on the upper level from the turret.]_

C: Oh, okay. That makes sense.

_[SS: Barricade engages with Autobots who have reached the ground level the party is on.]_

C: This must be... awful when the other people manning the guns are computers.

O: It is!

C: [laughs]

O: Speaking from experience, it truly is! They’re idiots.

S: Well, neither am-

O: Like, I literally was doing everything myself. This is already infinitely better.

C: Wait- wait- wait, can I ask a completely valid question? Why did the Autobots install giant guns that point at their own doors?

O: Uh, I think they were expecting an attack from a different direction? I don't know. They’re idiots, okay?

C: That’s- that's tragic.

_[OS: The enemies are finally defeated, and a door is open on the other side of the room where the Autobots entered._

_Megatron: The fools gave us our exit! Onward! Through that door!]_

C: I'm gonna rip this thing off.

_[CS: Brawl rips off the turret and begins slowly walking towards the open door.]_

O: You will walk super slow. Just warning you.

S: I’m out of ammo, so I'm hoping that there's ammo... of some variety... over here... somewhere.

O: I will take this health however, smash!

_[SS: Barricade runs down the hallway, in the distance Megatron smashes a health box with his mace.]_

O: Smash! [quietly] Is this the way…? Door’s not opening, alright.

_[OS: Megatron walks up to a door that does not open and turns around, walking back towards Barricade, before transforming into tank mode.]_

C: Oh, Specs is charging in.

_[SS: Barricade runs into a room before the rest of the group and begins taking fire.]_

S: Oh! Whoops, okay. [laughs]

C: No, I thought you were leading the charge! Don’t say whoops!

S: [laughs]

C: Say something heroic!

S: I want ammo. There’s ammo!

_[SS: Barricade walks up a ramp and runs over to some ammo behind some boxes.]_

O: Yes, as we play the bad guys.

_[OS: Megatron walks up the ramp and gets hit with a missile.]_

O: Ow, that was missile.

S: Wah!

O: Who shot me with a missile?

_[OS: Megatron shoots two Autobots on the platform across the room before turning to his left and sniping a kill from Barricade just before he hit the enemy with his sword.]_

S: Oh…

_[OS: The party follows the platforms up and through a door into another hallway._

_Autobot: Fall back! Fall back!_

_They meet one lonely Autobot who is promptly killed by Megatron and Barricade, and they round the corner into the Forward Base._

_Grunt 1: Area is secured, Megatron!_

_Megatron: Excellent!_

S: Oh, it’s vehicon time.

_[Grunt 2: Hail, Lord Megatron!_

_Grunt 3: It’s an honor to serve you, Lord Megatron!_

_OS: They enter the base they pass by several Decepticon grunts standing guard and Autobot prisoners being led away in chains.]_

C: Are we taking prisoners?

O: Yup.

S: Apparently, yes.

_[(COM) Soundwave: Megatron -- I have unlocked the lift controls. Your command center awaits at the top._

_CS: Brawl walks over to a group of Autobot prisoners and stomps, causing them all to explode.]_

C: Oh! Uh… you can kill them, careful.

_[OS: Megatron gets on a lift, Brawl and Barricade teleport to the location as the lift begins going up.]_

O: [snorts]

S: The prisoners?

C: Yes.

O: You’re the one who tried to do it!

C: I just went over to bunch of them and stomped on them and they all died.

O: Why are you like this?

C: I just was curious!

_[OS: Through the space station glass we see Jetfire and two Autobots fly up and transform._

_Jetfire: My name is Jetfire. I’m not here to fight.]_

O: Jetfire!

_[Megatron: That makes ONE of us. Speak your piece -- quickly._

_Jetfire: I’ve seen the horrors of what Dark Energon can do, Megatron -- it is not to be trifled with! Its power is too unstable...to use it would mean disaster!]_

C: Wait, these are good guys?

O: Well, yeah, but we’re not ‘good guys’.

S: We’re the bad guys.

C: Right, sorry, I meant ‘bad’ as in ‘good’, ugh.

O: [laughs] Enemies, enemies is a good word, honey. [laughs]

C: Right.

O: [laughs harder]

S: Opposition.

_[Megatron: You cannot frighten me, Jetfire. I will use Dark Energon as I please._

_Jetfire: Then you are a short sighted fool. You’ll kill us all!]_

O: [banging is heard in the background as Owls thumps her desk for emphasis] If I want to snort space crack-

C: [laughs]

O: I will SNORT SPACE CRACK!

S: [laughs]

_[OS: Jetfire and the other Autobots transform and fly off as the lift reaches its destination._

_Megatron: You say that as if it were a bad thing._

_Barricade: I hope this Dark Energon stuff is worth it, Megatron.]_

O: Pfft- [dissolves into laughter]

C: This is just one giant drug run for Megatron.

O: [thumps desk] IT IS!!! Tell me I’m wrong, man, but it is! Alright-

S: No, you’re right-

_[In-game cinematic: The party steps off the elevator and into the base of operations Soundwave has set up._

_Megatron: Soundwave, report!_

_Soundwave: We have taken control of this portion of the station and established your base of operations.]_

O: Soundwave! Also, not a cinematic, thank fuck. [laughs]

S: Yeah, god my character’s so tiny…

O: Soundwave! My baby.

S: Barricade- Barricade is so tiny compared to everyone else.

_[Soundwave is typing on a holo screen he’s in front of as Megatron steps up beside him._

_Soundwave: Scans indicate that Starscream has locked down all logical routes to the Dark Energon reactor.]_

O: Then make some illogical ones!

_[Barricade ribs Brawl._

_Barricade: Huh--and we’re fresh out of Star Cruisers to tunnel our way._

_Soundwave continues to work on the holo screen in front of him as Megatron turns and paces while glaring at Barricade._

_Megatron: Quiet. There must be another access point… We have to reach the station’s next pod!_

_Soundwave points at the screen._

_Soundwave: Megatron -- I have located a nearby Dark Matrix Center to reveal any alternate means of entry to the next pod. Advanced teams have already been sent to clear your path._

_Megatron: Then we have no time to waste._

_New Objective: Secure the Station Schematics.]_

C: Meanwhile, Soundwave still being the brains of the operation.

_[OS: Megatron runs down the hallway indicated by Soundwave. He passes by several wounded Decepticons.]_

O: Well, obviously, he’s the _best_ Decepticon.

S: Yeah.

_[Wounded Grunt: Uggggh, I think I’m going offline._

_Barricade: These soldiers look pretty banged up._

_SS: Barricade is standing in the base of operations before suddenly teleporting to the hallway Megatron is in. He turns around and see the door, which as closed behind them.]_

S: Ahh…

_[Megatron: Unacceptable. They should be victorious, or dead.]_

O: Hi! I’m an asshole!

_[Grunt: They’re putting up a good fight, alright._

_Megatron: Then put up a better fight!_

_SS: Barricade suddenly teleports again, this time onto a lift with Megatron and Brawl.]_

C: What the-? We keep teleporting because Megatron's walking through to things.

_[SS: The lift begins going up.]_

O: That's right, bitches!

C: It’s very disorienting.

O: [laughs] And now you’re here!

S: I was hoping I’d be able to find some ammo.

O: Oh...sorry.

_[(COM) Soundwave: Megatron -- be aware that you face overwhelming odds against Starscream’s soldiers. It is statistically unlikely that your advance teams can defeat all of them. I shall await your word that you have reached the Data Matrix Center.]_

C: Are you out uh, Specs?

S: I'm close to being out.

C: Can I-

O: I don’t have very much.

_[CS: The party exits the left and walks down a hallway before running into a large group of Autobots.]_

C: Can I drop guns? I would give you the grenade launcher if I can.

S: It’s okay I'm going to-

_[SS: Barricade runs up and slashes an Autobot with his sword.]_

O: I think it's more dangerous for me to have the grenade launcher, that's why I said take it.

C: Ha!

S: I wanna sta-

O: It's like every time, I don't know why. I'm just terrible with it.

S: I just want to stab. [laughs]

C: [laughs]

_[SS: Barricade turns into another hallway and is fired on by Autobots before being downed.]_

O: I want to stab.

C: I'm a talking car! I want to do what I want.

O: I want to stab.

S: [laughs]

_[OS: Megatron takes out the three Autobots firing on the party while Brawl runs up to Barricade and begins to revive him.]_

S: I’m also dying. Oh...

C: Don’t worry, we got ya.

_[OS: Barricade is back up and the party continues to fire on the opposing Autobots.]_

O: It’s fine, Chezni’s just gonna be our- our healer, I think.

C: I usually end up playing that when I’m playing multiplayer games.

O: Do- do you want me to be the healer? I think the answer is _no._

_[OS: Barricade runs into the group of Autobots and goes down.]_

S: I died again.

_[CS: Brawl runs up to Barricade and revives him. The gunfight continues.]_

O: You've got to stop exploding.

S: [laughs] Yeah… ohhh.

C: So Specs, when you come back, how much health do you have?

S: Uh, teeny- teeny sliver.

C: Oh, just the one [bar]?

S: Yes.

C: Okay.

O: Argh, I'm out [of ammo]! Alright.

S: Alright, I need the heals. Give me the heals. Where are-

_[SS: Barricade runs forward, gets shot by the Autobots and downed.]_

O: Uh, there's a blue cube over there that I think is health?

S: Oh, okay, well, I’m dead again.

_[SS: Brawl runs up to Barricade and revives him.]_

O: Okay, thank you.

C: [laughs] Those Autobots just stood there and let me pick Specs- oh shoot!

_[SS: Brawl takes several shots to the face and goes down.]_

C: Now I’m down.

S: How do I revive you!?

C: Hold E.

S: I'm holding E!

_[OS: Barricade is trying to revive Brawl, while Megatron is in tank mode sliding from side to side shooting the Autobots on the other end of the hallway.]_

C: You gotta- you gotta go over until it says “Hold”-

S: Oh.

_[OS: Brawl is back on his feet.]_

C: I got a little scared there! I was very close to dying! [laughs]

_[OS: Megatron runs out of tank ammo and transforms back into robot mode.]_

O: I’m completely out of damn ammo!

S: Ohh! Okay, I’ve got-

C: I’m just like, “Specs, you wouldn’t leave me to die, right? Specs?”

S: [laughs] I’ve got ammo again, somehow.

O: Oh my goddddd.

_[SS: Barricade goes down.]_

S: Sorry, we’re dead, I guess?

C: No, no we're not! We're gonna rescue him!

_[CS: Brawl runs forward towards Barricade before going down almost immediately.]_

C: Gah, just- just kidding, Specs.

O: You guys are killing me.

S: [laughs]

_[CS: Megatron runs up to Brawl and begins to revive him.]_

C: Rescue Specs first!

O: Oh right!

C: She's gonna die first!

_[OS: Megatron runs over to Barricade and revives him.]_

C: I've got 600 seconds er, 600, 500, 400, okay. Thank you.

_[OS: Megatron runs over to Brawl and revives him.]_

O: You're welcome! I have no ammo, and very little health!

C: All right.

O: Protect your glorious leader.

S: [laughs]

_[SS: Barricade is out in front of the group shooting the Autobots.]_

C: Wait, wait, wait! We've got bullets in vehicle mode, right!?!

_[CS: Brawl transforms and maneuvers around some boxes to get a clear shoot at the Autobot soldiers.]_

O: Yes, and I used all those!

C: Oh...Specs have you used your vehicle mode bullets?

S: No… I’m also dead again.

_[CS: Barricade goes down and Megatron runs over and begins to revive him. Brawl gets shot by the Autobots and begins to move back towards the group before getting shot by a mounted gun and falling down.]_

C: Oh crap, so am I.

_[CS: Megatron, still trying to revive Barricade goes down.]_

O: Arrrgh! Dammit.

_[OS: Mission Failed screen appears. Owls selects Restart From Last Checkpoint.]_

C: Ah, man, that’s tough!

O: It’s fine! We’ll restart from our checkpoint with hopefully ammo.

_[OS: The party respawns in the room with Soundwave. Megatron begins moving towards the hallway.]_

S: That’s-

C: Yeah, yeah, yeah, this time give us a moment before- before moving on.

O: Yeah, sorry.

C: No, it’s okay.

_[Brawl: I can use this!]_

O: I didn’t see any…

S: Alright, you guys have full health?

O: Yes.

C: No.

O: Oh, my bad.

S: Cuz there’s a health thing over here, I’m- I’ve got-

_[OS: Megatron walks up to a chest with a crosshair on it.]_

O: I think this is ammo.

C: Oh, I don’t need it if it’s ammo.

S: I’ve got three bars.

O: Specs, I think this is ammo.

S: Well, I mean I'm literally sitting here looking at a thing of health, if someone needs it-

O: Well, take it, I don’t need it, and I don’t think Chezni-

C: I need it.

O: Oh.

_[OS: Brawl runs over to a health chest and smashes it open.]_

C: If you don’t need it.

S: I've got three bars, so yes, Chezni, you can have it.

C: Thank you.

S: You’re welcome. Um, and I think I’m good on ammo right now.

O: Oh, good because I definitely need some.

_[OS: Megatron smashes the chest with the crosshair.]_

C: It looks- it looks like there are grenades here-

O: OH NO, IT’S A GUN!

_[OS: Megatron picks up an Energon Battle Pistol (5x Scope).]_

O: Oh, thank fuck- oh my god it’s a _sniper rifle!_ I’m so _~happppy!~_ [laughs] I have one goal in life, and that is to be a sniper rifle person. [sniffs] That was the dumbest way to say that, let’s go.

A: [laugh]

_[OS: Megatron runs down the hallway towards the lift, and sees an EMP Shotgun off to the side.]_

C: A sniper-

O: There’s a- oh Chezni, there’s a SHOTGUN!

C: Wait, what?

_[Wounded Grunt: Uggggh, I think I’m going offline._

_Barricade: These soldiers look pretty banged up.]_

O: Shotgun, right there, take it.

_[Megatron: Unacceptable. They should be victorious, or dead.]_

C: Where?

O: Right _here!_ Where I’m dancing around!

_[CS: Brawl turns around and runs down the hallway towards where Megatron is running back in forth around the shotgun._

_Grunt: They’re putting up a good fight, alright._

_Megatron: Then put up a better fight!]_

C: That’s where I was walking and you yelled-

O: Shotgun, shotgun!

_[CS: Brawl stops in front of the gun Megatron is still dancing around.]_

C: Oh, but I- yeah, um, Spec- um, ah, yeah.

O: You’ll keep the one your have, uh, for me it’s ‘Y’ to swap between the two, so I still have my Fusion Cannon and-

C: Hey Specs, come here and grab the Neutron Assault Rifle.

S: Oh sorry, I-

_[BS: Barricade runs up and grabs the gun.]_

C: Oh shoot! No, I dropped the rifle so now Specs has two machine guns!

O: Oops.

C: I meant to drop the grenade launcher!

S: Oh…

O: I do not remember if you can drop anything else but at least you have double the ammo, I think?

C: That's true.

O: I think that's how that works?

[ **Note:** It’s not, if you pick up the same gun twice it just refills your ammo.]

S: I don't know how to drop things, uh…

O: I don’t remember.

C: We don't think you can.

O: Um, okay, are we good? Is that everything?

_[OS: Megatron runs down the hallway to same lift as before.]_

S: I- I’m good.

O: We got health, and ammo, I have a sniper rifle. I'm so happy right now. [laughs]

S: I think I have-

C: Yeah, I think I’m good.

S: I think I have grenades.

O: Just be careful to not explode yourself. I... should not have grenades there's a reason I should not have grenades.

_[OS: Megatron activates the lift._

_(COM) Soundwave: Megatron -- be aware that you face overwhelming odds against Starscream’s soldiers. It is statistically unlikely that your advance teams can defeat all of them. I shall await your word that you have reached the Data Matrix Center.]_

C: You can throw grenades with ‘G’, Specs.

S: Oh, okay.

O: Don't do it here though!

A: [laugh]

S: I wasn't going to!

O: I didn't know that!

C: The rare moment where you see fear on Megatron's face.

S: [laughs]

_[OS: The party disembarks from the lift and runs down a hallway, smashing or shooting several Autobots before reaching the room they had previously died in.]_

S: Oh.

_[OS: Megatron takes cover behind a box and begins shooting the distant Autobots with the sniper rifle.]_

S: Oh, that is not what I wanted to do, okay.

_[CS: Brawl runs into the group of Autobots, spinning around and taking out two before swapping to his shot gun and taking out another.]_

S: Time to be a car!

C: Yeah, being a car sounds like a good idea right now.

_[SS: Barricade moves forward shoots Autobots with machine gun fire while in car mode.]_

C: Ah, there's health over here.

S: Yes.

_[SS: Off to the right of the screen there’s an explosion right next to the health box.]_

S: And ammo.

_[OS: Megatron continues to shoot enemies with the sniper rifle, before swapping to shooting the sentry guns that have come out of the wall. Off to the left, Barricade reverses backwards very quickly to get away from the Autobots and the guns that are shooting at him.]_

S: Nyahhh!

O: Pfft. [laughs]

S: Health, health, health, health!

_[CS: The energon cube in front of Megatron is picked up by Barricade. Megatron falls back towards Brawl’s position.]_

O: Ugh, is the ammo still there?

S: No.

O: It's okay, I still have all of my Fusion Cannon shots.

_[CS: Brawl and Barricade move forward and get shot by the sentry guns. Brawl retreats, but Barricade falls down.]_

S: I'm out.

_[OS: Megatron runs over to Barricade and revives him, while taking multiple shoots from the sentry guns, before moving back behind cover.]_

O: Move.

_[OS: Barricade gets up, stands still, then tries to run forward before falling down again.]_

S: Oh... god damn it.

_[OS: From behind cover Megatron fires on the sentry guns, destroying the two on the right. Brawl runs around firing in the general direction of the guns while not really hitting them.]_

C: Okay, I think I took out the sentry guns.

S: Uh, Chezni, could you… or someone?

_[OS: Megatron runs over to Barricade and revives him.]_

C: Oh, shoot, sorry.

O: And is the health still there?

C: Uh… I-

S: I don’t think so- ah.

_[OS: Megatron runs over to where the energon cube had been prior, and upon not seeing it, heads towards the end of the hallway the Autobots had been guarding.]_

O: It’s fine- just thought I’d ask.

_[CS: Brawl uses his feet thrusters to jump down the hallway, stopping in front of an ammo box.]_

S: I think we all could use-

O: Ah! AMMO!

_[CS: Megatron runs up to the ammo box. Brawl walks past further down the hallway, where a health box is visible.]_

O: Can I have this?

C: I don’t need it.

S: There's also health up there, so…

O: Uh, I only have one bar do-

S: Go for it.

C: I think we all only have one bar.

O: Okay.

S: So just go for it.

O: No, I'm standing in the back- somebody else in front take that.

_[CS: Brawl smashes a weapon box and finds a Neutron Assault Rifle. He picks it up, dropping the shotgun.]_

C: Uh… Neutron Assault Rifle-

S: Okay.

_[SS: Barricade slashes the health box open and picks up the energon inside.]_

C: -what's that?

_[SS: Barricade runs over to a console next to a door.]_

S: _~Oh!_ There's a thing I can interact with, I think?

C: Yeah! Go ahead-

O: Wait! Do you want this gun? It's a shotgun.

S: Um…

_[SS: Barricade turns around, Brawl and Megatron are running around a little further back.]_

O: I don't. I was asking-

S: Where’s the gun?

C: It’s right here.

_[SS: Brawl moves forward to where the gun is, Barricade walks over and picks it up.]_

S: Oh, um…

O: It's up to you!

S: Okay. Alrighty, thank you.

_[OS: Megatron activates the panel, opening the door.]_

C: [laughs] We're the most polite, cooperative, Decepticons.

O: Right?

S: [laughs]

O: Except when I'm like, “Bow to your glorious leader!” [laughs]

C: And shooting the people with fear.

_[In-game cinematic: The party enters a room where boxes are coming out of the floor and being moved around by large claws from the ceiling. They are shoot at by an Autobot, who brings up a forcefield in front of him.]_

O: Ugh, fucking barrier guys. Okay.

_[OS: Megatron takes cover behind a box and kills the barrier Autobot once he drops his shield a few times.]_

S: Oh...okay. Um...

_[SS: Barricade shoots an Autobot with his shotgun.]_

O: I thought there was another barrier guy- there he is, okay.

_[SS: Barricade walks up a ramp and takes out an Autobot who lets out a very loud death cry as he explodes.]_

O: Pfft, okay, well, that was a death cry for the ages.

C: [laughs] Yeah, I heard that one.

_[SS: Barricade interacts with a console and bridge is formed, spanning the upper level of the room the party is in.]_

S: [quietly] Okay.

O: Are you alright? Still alive?

S: Yeah, um.

_[CS: Brawl runs up the ramp, and throws some grenades across the bridge into a group of Autobots._

_Brawl: There’s plenty more where that grenade came from. Not as satisfying as melee, but gets the job done!]_

O: Oh shut up. [laughs]

_[SS: Barricade shoots an Autobot, who falls over and makes an even goofy sounding death cry than the last one.]_

S: I-

O: [imitating Autobot] Warrrgh!

_[SS: Barricade shoots another Autobot in the crotch until he dies.]_

S: I think I was shooting him in the crotch.

O: [snorts] I’m telling ya, that’s- that's the weakness of all Cybertronians.

C: I knew it.

A: [laugh]

O: Okay, there’s ammo down there, anybody need ammo?

_[OS: Megatron walks over to the ledge and sees an ammo chest on the ground floor of the room they’re in.]_

C: I'm good.

S: I think I'm good for now.

O: Give me just a second then.

_[OS: Megatron jumps off, transforming in tank mode momentarily before returning to robot mode and smashing the chest with his energon mace.]_

S: Also there's heals.

O: I got- I healed- oh!

_[OS: Megatron is suddenly transported into a hallway behind Brawl and Barricade.]_

S: Wow, I teleported. That is disorienting.

C: Right?

O: I'm fully healed, so whatever you guys need.

_[Barricade: These Cubes seem terribly outdated._

_Megatron: This entire station was created over 10,000 years ago. Much of its technology is antiquated--and inefficient. I look forward to updating it.]_

S: I've got three bars at the moment, so how about you, Chezni?

C: I’ve got one.

S: So, take it Chezni.

C: Uh-hm, got it.

S: Also this is-

O: Ammo there.

_[OS: Megatron walks down the hallway, and turns towards a ammo stash before continuing on.]_

S: ...ammo?

C: I don't need any ammo.

S: Do you-

O: And another weapon.

_[OS: Megatron passes a weapon box, and stops, waiting on Brawl and Barricade to finish sorting out who gets what.]_

S: I guess I took the thing [ammo].

_[OS: Barricade walks over and smashes the weapon box.]_

O: I have exactly the weapons I want, so I'm good.

C: Which one is that one?

S: I don’t think I can pick up anything else.

O: Ah, you'll drop one. Whatever one you have equipped you'll drop, so if there's more than one-

C: No, Specs is right. This one is glitched, we can't interact with it.

O: Oh, maybe... maybe it's cuz you already have one? Cuz I can.

_[OS: Megatron walks over to the gun and sees the, “Hold E for Neutron Assault Rifle,” text.]_

S: Maybe.

C: Oh. Yeah, I can't. Huh, interesting.

_[OS: The party continues down the hallway until they come across a door that opens up. Autobots on the other side begin shooting at them.]_

S: Oh. Eep! Ep-ep-ep.

_[SS: Barricade runs in and fires on the Autobots, getting shot at. The Autobots in the main part of the room are taken out by the party.]_

C: That's it, I'm running in!

_[CS: Brawl dashes into the room.]_

C: Oh. There's no one here!

_[CS: Brawl runs around the outskirts of the room, there are no Autobots in sight.]_

S: Uh, I think you might be the wrong place, because where I'm at it definitely has people!

_[CS: Brawl comes across Barricade who’s being shot at by an Autobot.]_

C & S: [laugh]

C: That sounds about- that sounds about how things usually go with me.

_[CS: Brawl jumps around, landing on the second floor of the room, which… has no Autobots in sight.]_

O: Chezni is lost, yet again.

S: [laughs]

C: I can’t find anyone!

S: You’re upstairs, Chezni.

O: It’s because me and Chezni- er, me and Specs killed everybody, dummy!

_[CS: Brawl continues to jump about, finally getting back on the 1st floor with the rest of the party.]_

S: You were upstairs Chezni.

O: Lost. The word you're looking for is _lost._

C: Yeah, secured the perimeter!

O: Oh, shut up.

C & O: [laugh]

O: Nothing here?

_[OS: Megatron jumps down from on top of the one of the computer terminals around the room._

_Megatron: Soundwave! We’ve located the holomap -- I’m sending the data to you now.]_

S: Well, I interacted with the thingy. I don’t know…

_[OS: Megatron looks up a holomap of the station that’s been generated in the upper area of the room. A double hologram of Starscream appears on either side of it._

_Starscream: Megatron! You may have gotten this far, but you’ll never get your hands on the Dark Energon!]_

O: So many Starscreams…

C: He’s just pent up isn’t he?

O: They-

S: He just wants to be tall.

O: They both are. [laughs]

_[Megatron: Starscream… this acrimony is needless. I know who you once were. Sky Commander, and that you were betrayed. With Dark Energon, I shall return Cybertron to its former glory -- and you to yours -- IF you agree to serve me.]_

C: It looks like there's some health here, if anyone needs it.

S: Um, I could use some, where are you?

_[CS: Brawl jumps down from one of the computer terminals, landing next to a cube of Energon.]_

C: I’m at full, I’m over here.

_[CS: Brawl begins moving back forth beside the energon cube.]_

S: Sorry, I just don’t- oh, there you are, okie-dokie.

_[SS: Barricade walks over to where Brawl is dancing around.]_

C: It's that little cube.

S: Okie-dokie, thank you.

_[SS: Barricade picks up the cube, turns around and spots another.]_

S: Oh, there's more!

_[Starscream: You’re a fool! No one can control Dark Energon!]_

O: Call it space crack, that’s what it is.

S: There's people. Sorry, I'm... slightly lost, okay.

_[CS: Brawl jumps to the second floor and takes out a barrier Autobot. He runs into the hallway behind the Autobot, but a door opens up and more Autobots run in and begin to fire on him.]_

C: Oh, jeez! They're coming in through the doors!

_[CS: Brawl takes out the group of Autobots with the mortar.]_

S: Oh. Doors, okay.

O: Oh my god.

S: Uh… I don’t know where you guys are now.

_[SS: Barricade looks around at the 1st floor of the room, and doesn’t see anybody.]_

C: Uh… I- I’m up in-

S: You- you went upstairs, okay.

C: Yeah, I'm on the second floor.

_[OS: Megatron is using the sniper rifle and taking aim at a Barrier Autobot.]_

S: All right, uh, time to figure out how to get to the second floor.

O: Jump. You can jump on top of stuff.

C: Oh, you can also jump twice.

_[CS: Brawl continues to jump around the second floor, taking out more Autobots, before landing back on the first floor.]_

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah, I can't get high enough in my jump for that though.

C: You have to jump up on the computers, and then you can jump up on the- or just kidding the computer is decided to go to sleep now.

_[SS: Megatron jumps on top of the computers, but they slowly sink into the floor.]_

S: Yes.

_[(COM) Soundwave: Megatron -- there is a route through the manufacturing plant nearby that Starscream has not yet blocked. Transmitting coordinates._

_Megatron: Excellent! Decepticons! Lock this room down and await our return!_

_OS: New Objective - Infiltrate the Manufacturing Area to Proceed]_

O: Is there anything else here?

S: Uh…

C: I didn't see anything.

_[OS: A closed door is dented in by force from the other side.]_

O: [quietly] Oh dear.

C: Friend of yours, Megatron?

O: Uh... no. [laughs]

C: [laughs]

_[OS: The door is blasted open by a heavily armored Autobot with an axe and a sheild.]_

O: They’re fuckers with shields!

C: Are you sure?

O: Do I look like I use a shield!?!

C: Tru- fair.

_[OS: The sheild Autobot charges the group. Megatron swaps to his Fusion Cannon and begins firing.]_

C: It looks like they have a weak point on their back.

_[CS: Brawl shoots at a sparking area on the Autobot’s back.]_

_[OS: Megatron hits the weak point with a Fusion Cannon blast.]_

O: Get away from him, because he'll explode.

_[OS: Megatron backs up as the Autobot explodes.]_

C: Well, that was fun.

O: Oh, it's not when there's like six of them, let me tell ya. I hate those guys, they’re my least favorite ones.

_[OS: Megatron walks down the hallway the sheild Autobot came from, coming across an ammo chest.]_

O: More ammo, if it nobody needs that I'm gonna take it.

_[Barricade: So--what exactly did they manufacture here?_

_Megatron: Transport devices for Dark Energon. The ancients constructed special pods they could launch to any part of Cybertron.]_

S: I could use some more, but there looks like more- I dunno know, probably gun.

_[SS: Barricade walks up to a weapon chest, smashes it and walks through the resulting gun that’s appeared.]_

S: Can’t touch it.

O: It's a- it’s a shot gun, what you just picked up, so…

S: Erm, well.

O: Okay, got a-

S: Gah.

_[OS: Megatron walks up to door that opens to reveal a hallway with four sentry guns shooting electricity at a wounded Autobot on the ground.]_

C: That looks painful.

S: Yes!

_[OS: Megatron uses his sniper rifle to take out the Autobot and half the sentry guns, which seems to deactivate the two on the other wall. He begins walking down the hallway and spots a health box.]_

C: Hmmm...

O: Uh, I've got two bars.

C: Wait, are we gonna get electrocuted if we walk through?

O: Um, no, because I shot them.

_[OS: Brawl and Barricade turn a corner in the hallway, and Megatron grabs the energon after smashing the box. He follows the other two down the hallway and sees Barricade standing in front of a grenade canister.]_

S: Oh! What’s this?

O: Those are-

S: Just grenades.

O: -grenades. By all means, take them, cuz I hate grenades.

S: I cannot pick them up, okay.

_[OS: Barricade runs through the grenades, but they remain.]_

C: It's cuz you already have three.

S: Which I don't- Ohhh okay, yeah I need to throw them with G, apparently.

C: Yep.

O: If you want ‘em, take him Chezni.

C: I- I’m at full, I keep forgetting to use them.

_[CS: Brawl walks into a room where the floor is covered with some sort of blue liquid or energy, and on a ledge across from the party a barrier Autobot is firing on them. Brawl gets hit with a rocket.]_

C: Oww! What!?! Who di- who shot a rocket at me!?!

O: Probably that guy behind the shield.

C: Well, he's a jerk!

_[OS: Brawl and Barricade charge across a bridge at the barrier Autobot, while Megatron takes him out with his sniper rifle.]_

S: Okay, I’m off… I’m low on ammo.

_[(COM) Soundwave: Megatron--according to my scans the manufacturing plant is directly below your floor._

_Brawl: There is no exhaust coming from that vent. We can blast through to make an entrance!_

_Barricade: Aren’t you concerned at all driving into the belly of a furnace?_

_Megatron: Aren’t YOU concerned that I might tire of your pointless chatter?_

_SS: Megatron and Brawl are looking at the area where the Autobot was standing, their backs to the vent they should be looking at. Barricade walks over and shoots the air vent the UI is indicating.]_

C: Oh gosh.

O: I'm sorry I don’t-- it's giving me a button, and I do not know what button it is on my controller so…

S: Possibly-

C: I don't have any button interactions as far as-.

S: Neither do I. Maybe E?

O: It said something about a vent, and I remember getting stuck here last time-

C: Oh, it's over here.

_[CS: Brawl turns around and jumps into the open vent.]_

S: Vent… uh…

C: Over here.

O: Oh, I see.

S: Oh, the thing that I shot, okay.

O: Wee!

_[OS: Megatron jumps down the vent.]_

O: Yeah.

_[SS: Barricade jumps down the vent and lands without any apparent damage despite the height of the fall..]_

C: Wow, no fall damage.

O: Yep. We are giant robots-

C: Banjo Kazooie this is not.

O: We are giant robots, after all.

_[OS: The party lands in a corridor that has massive spinning fans and vents that periodically spew fire upwards. It’s a very safe looking area. Very safe._

_Megatron: Those fans will split you in two! I can’t use you if you’re dead!]_

O: [snorts]

S: Oh Megatron, you're so sentimental.

C: [laughs]

_[CS: The party makes their way through the vents, before reaching the first giant fan in their path.]_

O: [muttering] Alright… what do I have to- yup.

_[CS: Megatron shoots at the fan once before jumping into the air and floating.]_

C: Think we have to shoot the fans?

_[CS: Brawl shoots the middle of the fan, nothing happens.]_

O: Uh, I don’t know. We have to shoot something, I just don't remember what part of it is we shoot.

_[OS: Megatron shoots in the middle closer to the fan blades and the blades fall apart after a couple of shots.]_

S: Well-

O: Oh yeah, you’re right, we shoot the fan blades.

C: Well, that was... simple.

_[Megatron: Stay clear of the fans, you fool!_

_OS: Megatron moves forward, dodging more vents, stopping in front of the second large fan and tries shooting it with his Fusion Cannon, ineffectively. He then turns around and sees Barricade and Brawl standing a long ways off behind him.]_

C: Specs and I are just gonna stand back and watch you handle this. [laughs]

O: Well- urgh, dah, I’m not actually good at hitting these things…

_[SS: Barricade transforms into car mode and shoots the fan, destroying the blades.]_

C: Ha! I think Specs got- had it in car mode.

S: Yes, because I have actually ammo then.

_[OS: Megatron walks forward into a shaft that has a small bridge in the middle with another huge fan underneath it.]_

O: Why do I feel like this breaks and we end up riding it down?

S: Probably! Woooah!

O: That seems like the kind of crazy- oh no, we have to the- the- the fans, I think?

_[OS: Megatron attempts to shoot the fan blades, missing every shot.]_

S: Oh… I… okay, uh.

O: Maybe?

_[CS: Brawl shoots the fan blades with his machine gun.]_

C: Nailed it!

_[Brawl: See you at the bottom!_

_SS: Everyone jumps off the bridge, aiming for another one some distance below.]_

S: Oh. Okay. I can’t-

O: Careful you don’t land on a fan.

_[SS: Barricade falls into a fan and dies, but lands on the next bridge below the one the rest of the party is on.]_

S: There I went! I’m dead.

C: Oh no!

_[Soundwave: Megatron. Starscream is alerted to your presence in the production facility. Expect resistance._

_OS: The fan blades have been destroyed. Megatron jumps off to go to the level below but gets caught on the edge of the middle section of the fan and gets stuck.]_

O: [quietly] Oh god, I’m stuck.

_[OS: Megatron accidently throws a grenade that sticks to the wall right in front of him.]_

C: At least you landed in the middle.

_[OS: The grenade explodes and takes out nearly half Megatron’s health. Below him, Brawl lands on the bridge and revives Barricade.]_

O: NO! Oh crap, I’m really stuck.

_[OS: Megatron transforms into tank mode and falls down.]_

O: Oh nooooo! [laughs]

_[OS: Megatron transforms into robot mode as he falls and misses the platform hitting the fan.]_

C: What’s going on?

O: Argh!!! [laughs]

_[OS: Megatron lands on a ledge off to the side of the shaft.]_

O: I got stuck, and then um, couldn’t move?

C: Alright, alright, alright…

O: And I’m down here and I’m going to-

C: Nooo!!!

_[OS: From Megatron’s viewpoint we see Brawl fall past where Megatron’s stuck and dying.]_

C: I missed!

O: [laughing] I’m sorry! I was like, stuck, and then I transformed into tank mode, and was like, “Oh hey, I got away-”

_[OS: The party gets the game over screen and restart from when they first entered the room with the giant fans and the vents.]_

O: And then uh, and then I fell into the fan, and it was just bad. It was bad, okay. It’s not my fault I got stuck!

C: It’s not your fault I missed either.

O: [laughs]

S: That was-

_[Megatron: Those fans will split you in two! I can’t use you if you’re dead!_

_OS: Megatron destroys the fan in three shoots, unlike the first time.]_

C: Whoa!

O: Yeah, I gotta aim at the middle not the fans [blades]. Then I do all right.

_[Megatron: Stay clear of the fans, you fool!_

_OS: Megatron destroys the next fan quickly and the party reaches the shaft.]_

O: Alright, let's see if I can uh, do this again without getting uh, cut into pieces.

C: That’s gen- generally the uh, the better way of doing things.

_[SS: Barricade destroys the fan below the first bridge.]_

O: [snorts] Thank you.

C: Oh jeez-

_[CS: Brawl jumps off, landing on the bridge below._

_Brawl: See you at the bottom!]_

S: I'm not- not a fan of this! I don’t wanna! Shit…

C: Ha! Specs, you're not a **_fan_ ** of this? Really?

S: [laughs]

C: A **_fan?_ **

S: [laughs]

O: Are you two having fun?

C & S: [laugh]

S: We like puns.

C: [continues laughing]

O: [sighs] Of course you do.

_[SS: Barricade jumps off and lands on the platform below.]_

S: [laughs] We've had this discussion.

_[OS: Brawl falls down nearly right on top of Barricade.]_

C: Oh geez, look out! I'm sorry!

_[OS: Megatron is looking over the edge of the bridge at the fans.]_

S: I'm out of ammo, and I can't shoot it in car mode.

O: Uh-

C: There's grenades over here.

_[CS: Brawl jumps over to an opening in the wall and picks up some grenades.]_

C: We can just throw grenades on it- oh shoot! Ah!

_[CS: Brawl dashes into the fan blades and falls down.]_

C: That was not the grenade button…

_[CS: Brawl comes to rest on a ledge on the side of the shaft.]_

C: That was the dash button!

_[OS: Megatron ineffectively shoots at the fan blades.]_

O: Argh, if I can get down there!

C: 600.

O: OH MY GOD!

C: 400.

_[SS: Barricade tosses grenades out towards the fan blades, between the grenades and the shooting, the fan is finally defeated.]_

O: I can hit so much stuff, but not fans apparently!

S: Sorry, I just lobbed-

C: 200, 50.

_[CS: The death counter stops on 18, the camera is adjusted, and Megatron is seen standing over Brawl.]_

C: Oh my gosh! You got it at 18!

O: Oh, JESUS!

C: Wow.

_[Barricade: This place is pretty active to be thousands of years old._

_Megatron: Soundwave reactivated it upon my orders. I have VERY special plans for this facility.]_

O: This fan has SUUUUCKED!

_[OS: Megatron jumps down onto a platform below. It dents inwards as he lands.]_

S: Where are you guys?

C & S: [laugh]

O: Just jump down. Jump down there's no more fans.

S: Yes, I know I'm already at the ground.

_[SS: Barricade is waiting on the bottom floor, which is some sort of manufacturing facility.]_

O: Oh, okay, well, I’ll be right there.

C: [laughs] We’re coming.

S: Oh, there you are.

_[CS: Megatron lands in a way that is very reminiscent of his movements in Transformers: Prime.]_

O: What’s up? [laughs]

C: [laughs] The hero landing.

O: Is it really a hero landing if he’s doing it though? [laughs]

C: Super villain landing.

O: [snorts] Warlor- or gladiator landing, more like it.

_[OS: Megatron walks up a ramp, into a large open room. High walkways going between some pillars are seen in the distance.]_

O: All righty then, I remember this! I remember, cuz I died here A LOT! Because there are guys up on that fucking walkway!

S: I need-

_[OS: Megatron takes aim at Autobots on the walkways through the sniper rifle’s scope._

_Megatron: What?!?_

_Brawl: Snipers on the bridge, Megatron!_

_Megatron: Crush them!]_

S: _Ohhh~_

_[SS: Barricade picks up a sniper rifle.]_

O: I'm going to enjoy shooting them with a fucking scope.

_[SS: An object in front of Barricade explodes.]_

S: Shitttttt! Give me the ammo!

_[SS: Barricade runs over to a box of ammo and smashes it.]_

C: You know the environments- environments in this game are really nice looking.

S: I think I’ve got-

O: Yeah, they are they did a good job with the design work, I think. Okay...

S: Alright, who am I supposed to…

_[CS: Brawl runs around below the catwalks, before take a hit that takes out over ¼ of this health in one shot.]_

C: Ow! What the-? Who shot me?

O: There- a bunch of them are up on the catwalks up there.

_[OS: Megatron takes out an Autobot with his sniper rifle.]_

C: I can't even get up into the catwalks.

S: Um-

_[CS: Brawl and Barricade attempt to jump onto the catwalks.]_

O: You may not be able to.

_[OS: All the enemies are defeated and Megatron heads into the next room.]_

O: I’m not sure where you guys are- oh.

_[OS: Megatron turns around to find Brawl and Barricade right behind him.]_

S: I’m behind you.

C: We’re behind you.

_[OS: A shield Autobot bursts through a wall in front of the party.]_

O: Whoa!

C: Oh, it’s a shield guy.

O: Yeah, I hate these guys.

S: You’ve mentioned!

_[OS: Shield Autobot is defeated and Megatron picks up the energon cube that he dropped._

_Megatron: Ah! Precious energon!]_

C: [laughs]

O: Look, he was hungry, alright? He was hungry.

C: He- the way he said it!

O: [deep voice] PRECIOUS ENERGON!

_[SS: The party roams around an area where large claws are coming down from the ceiling in front of them and crushing the floor.]_

O: Okay, so obviously, avoid those things. Those things are bad, um...

C: Sure, we'll we'll follow you.

O: Uh, we're going the wrong way- eh, we need to go that way. Okay.

S: The same direction I'm pointed in?

_[SS: Barricade walks into the shockwave of one of the claws and takes some damage.]_

S: Ah!

O: Yep.

C: Oh, ow! Guess I was too close?

O: Just avoid the electricity and you’ll be fine.

_[OS: Megatron finishes crossing the area with the claws ahead of Brawl and Barricade.]_

O: She said, last words-ing-ly.

_[CS: Barricade and Brawl catch up with Megatron.]_

S: Well, I mean, we’re here…

_[SS: The party moves into the next room. Barricade activates a panel, which raises a platform and generates a bridge for the party to cross to room._

_Megatron: Once I have enough Dark Energon online, I will use these canisters to transport it to Cybertron! The Autobots’ surprise will be TOTAL.]_

O: Sure... sure, buddy. Sure. Space crack. I’m gonna surprise them with space crack. I'm sorry, that is what I'm translating it as every single time though!

_[OS: The party gets on a lift, and Megatron activates it via the panel in front of them.]_

S: Well, it's not space crack, it's space bath salts.

O: [snorts] That can be used as space crack, apparently.

_[Megatron: I tire of these futile attempts to resist me. Dark Energon will be MINE._

_OS: The lift begins going up.]_

S: Well no, no- I mean, bath salts, as in the drug.

O: Oh, I thought they were using actual bath salts as drugs... but perhaps I'm wrong, I don't know. I'm not gonna keep up with the drug ‘lingo’.

_[Barricade: What makes you think you can control the Dark Energon, when no one else has ever been able to?_

_Megatron: Only the strong are worthy of such a weapon, Barricade. I am the strongest. And do not question me again!]_

C: Owls 2020, she's not gonna keep up with the drug lingo.

O: [laughs]

S: It’s not relevant to our live-

O: [laughs] Yup, that’s- that’s- that’s my platform, vote for me!

E: [laughs]

_[In-game cinematic: The party exits the lift into an area that’s partially open to space. It looks like a large hanger that’s had the back part of it violently ripped apart. Cybertron is visible in the distance.]_

O: I remember dying here a lot too. Probably cuz shit flies.

_[Megatron: Cybertron._

_Brawl: Flyers inbound!_

_An aerial Autobot flies in from space, Megatron shoots them with his fusion cannon, but the Autobot transforms and lands on the floor. Several other Aerialbots arrive.]_

S: Okay.

_[CS: Brawl jumps forward and takes out one of the Autobots.]_

O: Okay, I hate these too, because they move too much... for me to hit.

_[OS: Megatron tries to shoot at the aerialbots with his sniper rifle. It’s not very effective.]_

C: Crap, crap, crap-

S: Shit.

C: -crap.

_[Megatron: We got another one!]_

C: Yeah, I'm out.

_[SS: Barricade is up on a platform shooting aerialbots. Brawl is fainted down below.]_

O: I can’t tell if I'm just not hitting them, or if they’re just not taking damage.

S: I... I need heals.

_[OS: Megatron revives Brawl.]_

C: Alright, where's Specs?

O: I got her.

_[OS: Megatron takes out several Aerialbots with his Fusion Cannon.]_

S: Oh... shit!

O: Are you dead again?

_[Barricade: Where do we go now, Megatron?]_

S: Nope. I’m not dead again I just…

_[Brawl: The damage looks… old. It’s been this way for a good while. But no weapon I know of could’ve done this.]_

O: Uh, who needs health? There's health down here.

C: Everybody.

S: I am at one bar.

O: Then you get down here and take it Specs.

S: Okay.

_[Megatron: I don’t care what did -- find a way across!_

_(COM) Soundwave: The holomap indicates no damage to this area.]_

O: I don't care if my space crack-

_[SS: Barricades walks over and smashes the health box._

_Megatron: Yes… this is unexpected. The entire area lies in shambles.]_

S: Thank you.

O: You’re welcome! I do however need ammo because I'm completely out except for however many I have in-

_[CS: Brawl jumps over to a platform with a red token floating on it.]_

C: Uh, I found a Decepticon token.

O: Uh, that's not a Decepticon token, dear.

_[CS: Brawl smashes the Autobot token.]_

C: Well, whatever it was I blew it up.

O: It was an Autobot token.

C: Oh, was that-

O: The Autobots are red.

C: -good or bad?

O: I have no idea.

C: [laughs] Why did I do that?

O: Because you're you, [laughs] what else could you be? Okay, well whatever that is...

S: _Ohh!~_ There's this thing to interact with or are you- you're interacting with it.

_[SS: Megatron and Barricade are jumping around and make it over to a control console. Megatron activates it.]_

S: Oh-

O: It moved something, I think?

_[SS: A claw arm on the wall opposite where Barricade is standing begins to move before breaking and dropping down, and creating a platform.]_

O: That, yes. And bring more fliers, cuz we needed more.

_[OS: More Autobot flyers fly in from the side of the room open to space. Megatron transforms into tank mode._

_CS: Brawl takes out two Autobots_

_OS: Megatron takes out the last Autobot.]_

O: Yeah, that’s not good. I have six, I have six tank ammos left, and that’s it.

_[OS: Megatron transforms from robot mode to tank mode and back again, comparing his remaining ammo in the HUD.]_

S: Oh...

C: Take heart, Megatron. We’ll make it.

O: Will we though?

_[OS: Megatron jumps across the broken claw into a enclosed debris acting as a bridge to the next floating platform._

_CS: Brawl follows shortly thereafter.]_

O & C: [laugh]

S: I’m-

O: The world's most pragmatic Megatron would just be weird. [laughs]

_[SS: Barricade attempts to jump into the bridge, but misses it and falls a short distance onto the floor below.]_

S: Warghh!

O: ...That's like the Lost Light version of him, I think.

S: Yeah.

O: Ya, alright?

S: Yeah, I just was afraid I was going to uh, jump off.

_[SS: Barricade jumps into the bridge.]_

O: Shit.

S: Into the void of space.

O: Oh god! Who's shooting at me, and why does it hurt!?!

_[SS: Barricade reaches the other side of the bridge, catching up with Brawl.]_

C: Wait, where are you?

O: I'm not dead yet but I'm gonna be!

_[CS: There is gunfire in the distance, Megatron goes down.]_

C: Okay.

O: Well, now I’m dead.

C: Shoot!

_[CS: Brawl jumps over some platforms to reach where Megatron has fallen, it looks like he almost fell off the edge because he fell in between one of the platforms, but landed on a small piece of debris instead..]_

S: Like, I- woop, woop!

O: I can’t-

S: Woop!

O: I'm behind you.

_[CS: Brawl kills the attacking Autobot and revives Megatron.]_

C: Sorry, I was just trying to take out the guy before I rescued you.

O: No, it’s fine, I was just like, oh my god.

S: There's ammo right there.

O: Oh, thank fuck!

_[SS: Megatron runs over and smashes an ammo box with his mace.]_

O: [quietly] Jammed? What?

_[OS: Megatron’s abilities have the word, “Jammed” superimposed on top of them in the HUD.]_

C: Yeah, your abilities get jammed, I noticed, after you get revived.

O: Oh! I didn’t realize.

C: They have to come back online.

S: God, I hate doing stuff on areas like this where you can fall into goddamn space.

_[OS: The party continues to move across the huge debris field of broken up spacestation bits floating around in space.]_

C & S: [laugh]

C: Well the-

O: But it’s space, I love space!

S: [laughs]

C: The real question is why is there any gravity here at all?

O: I think it must be remnants from something the space- the station is generating.

_[CS: Autobot fliers attack the party, who return fire.]_

C: I mean, that's fair.

O: You really need a machine gun, I feel like, with the flyers, and I don’t usually have one.

_[OS: After dispatching the Autobots the party reaches a larger platform, a weapons chest is visible.]_

O: Uh, there's another weapon down here.

_[OS: Barricade runs over and smashes the chest.]_

C: I’m behind-

S: I can't touch it.

C: Uh, it's a shotgun.

O: Must be another-

S: Uh, I think I’ve already got a shot-

O: You do.

_[OS: Brawl picks up the shotgun, leaving behind one of his previously equipped guns.]_

C: I'll try it. Eh, it refills ammo anyway.

S: Oh…

C: I was almost out of the other weapon I left behind.

S: Eep… I don't- I don't like these areas.

_[CS: The party continues on, reaching an area with a reasonable large gap between the next platform they need to get too. More Autobots attack, and Brawl jumps to the new platform and begins attacking them.]_

S: I really don't like these areas.

_[OS: Megatron takes out one of the Autobots with the sniper rifle, after missing with the first few shots.]_

O: [quietly] Jesus!

C: Nice.

O: Yeah, took way too many shots.

_[SS: Megatron runs over to a health chest.]_

O: Health up here, I'm gonna take it because I’ve only got one bar.

C: I don’t need it.

S: I do not need health either, so…

S: Woop!

C: Ammo over here.

S: Yeah, so you should probably take it, er- Owls?

_[OS: Megatron runs over to the ammo chest and smashes it.]_

C: No, I'm pretty much full.

_[SS: Brawl takes out yet another Aerialbot.]_

C: Oh shoot…

O: Thank you!

_[SS: The party continues jumping between platforms, heading towards the remnants of a structure in the distance.]_

C: Another Decepticon logo over there.

O: Where?

S: Autobot?

C: Er, Autobot logo. Yeah, yup.

O: Where?

C: I got it.

S: You murdered it?

C: No, no I mean- I- I mean I saw my mistake. It's over there- up there rather.

_[CS: Brawl shoots an Autobot badge floating on a high platform some distance away from the party.]_

S: Oh, in front of us?

C: I just shot it, it blew up.

O: I don’t see it...

C: It- it blew up…

O: Is- am I crazy?

_[CS: Megatron hops between a couple of platforms.]_

C: No, it blew up. I- it's not there anymore.

S: Oh, there's more ammo over here.

C: You okay, Owls? Oh no.

_[CS: Brawl tries to jump onto the platform Megatron was standing on but misses and falls into the void OF SPACEEEEE!]_

O: Oh yeah- yeah, I'm just confused. Woah. Oh my god, Chezni, you walked off the damn plat- [dissolves into laughter]

_[OS: The Mission Failed screen is displayed, Owls selects Restart From Last Checkpoint.]_

C: Yup.

O: [laughs] Good job!

C: Yup.

O: Good job!

C: [laughs]

O: Everybody slow clap for Chezni. Hey-

_[OS: The party starts in almost exactly the same location as they were before the game over screen.]_

C: Well, no, no- actually I did it so you can see the Autobot logo [laughs] cuz now it's back!

_[OS: Megatron looks up at the platform and shoots the Autobot badge, blowing it up, before heading into the structure.]_

O: Now it's not, goodbye.

C & O: [laugh]

C: Yes, I walked off the edge.

O: I actually-

S: Ahh!

_[CS: Barricade nearly jumps off the edge. Immediately afterwards both Barricade and Brawl are teleported into the structure Megatron entered.]_

O: -have ammo, so if one of you needs one, you should take one of these? Or leave them and I will-

_[CS: Brawl is hit by one shot and goes down.]_

C: Wait, what the heck!?!

S: We teleported.

_[OS: Megatron is sniping snipers. How the snipers have become the sniped!]_

C: We teleported, then I immediately died.

O: Oh shit, do you need revived?

_[OS: Megatron turns around walks over to Brawl and revives him.]_

O: Yes, you do.

S: I just don't know where you are.

O: There's snipers, that's why you died.

S: Oh.

C: All right.

O: That's why you keep seeing the lines from them.

_[SS: Barricade is shooting Autobots with a sniper rifle but not actually using the scope it is KILLING me inside.]_

C: Okay.

O: So yeah, they do more damage then you’re probably used to.

_[OS: Megatron is continuing to snipe, until some enemies get right up next to him, and then he swaps to tank mode.]_

S: _Oh~_

C: Oh my gosh.

_[CS: Brawl is running around, trying to avoid a shield Autobot and throwing grenades at him.]_

S: _Oh~_

_[SS: Barricade slowly looks up… and shoots an Autobot in the crotch from below.]_

S: God, I just shot him in the crotch.

O: As you do.

S: [laughs]

_[OS: Megatron smashes an Autobot with his mace and joins in on the fight against the shield Autotbot.]_

S: Ahhhh!

_[SS: Barricade shoots a distant Autobot before hurriedly backing away from the advancing shield Autobot.]_

C: Finally!

_[CS: The shield Autobot finally blows up.]_

O: Yeah, they take for freaking ever.

S: I need to go collect some more ammo, if there is still some available.

_[(COM) Soundwave: Megatron, I have downloaded the station’s log. Transmitting history.]_

O: Yup, I left one of them.

_[CS: Brawl jumps up some platforms, onto the upper level the room the party is in and grabs some health._

_Megatron: Fascinating! According to this, a quantity of Dark Energon became unstable… and the resulting explosion destroyed this part of the station._

_Brawl: Dark Energon did all of THIS?_

_Megatron: Those fools had no idea how to control it! I’ll not make the same mistake!]_

S: Megatron…

O: Sureeee, you won’t Megs, sure you won’t.

S: Megatron, you just want to take it. You want to use the Dark Energon.

C: [laughs]

O: Uh, yes, _use_. ‘Use’ in a very literal sense here. Oh my god, why can't I jump?

_[SS: Barricade jumps up on a platform, and runs around a pillar, Megatron runs past and is seen running toward the door on the floor above.]_

S: How are we- where are we supposed to go? Uh…?

C: You can-

O: Uh, you need to get up here, and then there's a door.

_[SS: Barricade attempts to jump to get to the top level, but instead runs off the platform.]_

S: Shit.

O: If you go uh, kind of near the start of the level, you can jump-

_[OS: Megatron turns around and peers down the edge of the platform at Barricade getting back on the same platform as before.]_

O: Yeah, if you jump up there you should be able to get up here.

_[CS: Brawl jumps up with Megatron and the two head towards the room’s exit.]_

S: Nyyyah!

C: Eh-

C & O: [laugh]

O: Specs dies, funny noise number 25!

_[CS: Brawl turns around and watches Barricade struggling on the platform below.]_

S: It's less that, and more frustration that I can't fucking-

O: I mean, if you don't mind teleporting I can probably just go through the door?

C: No, this is funny, let her do-

A: [laugh]

O: Why are you so mean?

C: Alright, you can do it! You can do it!

_[CS: Megatron joins Brawl at the edge of the platform.]_

O: Come on. Come on little car legs, you can do it!

_[CS: Barricade jumps and finally makes it to the level Megatron and Brawl are on.]_

S: [laughs] Okay.

O & C: Yay!

_[SS: The party heads towards the room’s exit.]_

O: I love that I’m like, yes, its because you’re short. Come on.

S: [laughs]

O: There’s health over- er, no, this is a sheild.

_[OS: Megatron walks out the door and onto a ledge, he walks over to the the right and spies a chest with a sheild icon on it. Barricades walks over and stops in front of the chest.]_

S: _Ohhh~_

O: Uh, basically it's like bonus health, you don't get to keep after you use it, so… One of you guys should probably take it?

C: I'm good, I'm at full health.

_[CS: Brawl jumps down from the platform to the ground below. They have entered another debris field.]_

O: I'm at full health too, that's what I'm getting at.

C: I already jumped down so one of you is gonna have to take it.

_[OS: Megatron walks over and smashes the chest before jumping off the platform.]_

O: All right, I will take the health- or the shield then.

S: Okay.

C: Oh, there are flyers!

O: Oh goody.

S: Ehhhh, don’t like.

_[SS: Barricade walks towards the edge of the platform and looks down. Several aerialbots begin firing on Megatron and Brawl below, and one targets where Barricade is standing.]_

S: Really don't like.

O: Shit, shit, shit. Oh my god, I hate you all!

S: Oh… shit.

_[OS: Megatron attempts to fire on the Aerialbots, missing. He’s eventually able to take down two of them.]_

O: Ugh.

S: Nah!

O: Nyeh?

_[CS: Brawl takes down the last remaining Autobot with his shotgun.]_

S: [laughs] I'm sorry, that is the noise I’ll make.

O: Uh, honestly I think it's hilarious and nothing to apologize for.

_[SS: Barricade attempts to jump to the next debris platform, but misses and falls into the void.]_

S: I died!

O: Where are you?

S: I’m dead.

O: OH, you fell off, okay.

_[OS: The Mission Failed screen is displayed, Owls selects Restart From Last Checkpoint.]_

O: I was like, where are you? Heh, nowhere! The void of space!

_[OS: The party spawns in the room they just left… down on the bottom floor._

_(COM) Soundwave: Megatron, I have downloaded the station’s log. Transmitting history.]_

O: Ah-ha, are you gonna have to jump up there again?

S: [laughs]

O: I think you’re gonna have to jump up there again, Specs.

_[Megatron: Fascinating! According to this, a quantity of Dark Energon became unstable… and the resulting explosion destroyed this part of the station._

_OS: Megatron jumps up onto the second level of the room.]_

S: [laughs] I know, I see. I don’t like it though. [laughs]

_[Brawl: Dark Energon did all of THIS?_

_Megatron: Those fools had no idea how to control it! I’ll not make the same mistake!]_

O: Shall I just go through the door?

_[SS: Barricade is jumps up on the second level.]_

C: No, I need to get the health over here. Okay.

_[Brawl: Tastes good!]_

C: Wait, tastes good? Was that Brawl?

S: I don't know.

_[SS: The party exits the room and out into the debris field.]_

O: [snorts]

S: He might be being metaphorical.

C: No, I think he said it when I picked up the Energon.

_[OS: Megatron walks over to a Thermo Rocket Launcher (Vehicle Lock-On) on the ground.]_

O: Oh, there's a... rocket launcher. An actual rocket launcher instead of you know, whatever the hell the Fusion Cannon is. It’s basically-

C: I'm terrible with rocket launchers.

O: I don't need two of them!

_[OS: Megatron and Brawl shoot at oncoming Autobots.]_

S: Ah.

_[CS: The firefight continues. Brawl jumps around some enemies to get to a box of health while is health is low.]_

S: Well, that was effective.

_[SS: Barricade shoots the rocket launcher at the enemies.]_

O: Oh my god, I'm gonna die.

_[OS: Megatron attempts to get behind some cover, but ends up going down.]_

S: Where are you?

O: Uh, back to the beginning basically. I am uh, fainted, so...

_[CS: Brawl revives Megatron.]_

O: Bless you, thank you.

_[CS: Brawl goes down.]_

C: I'm dead now.

_[CS: Megatron collapses next to Brawl.]_

O: We both are. Save us Specs.

S: Uh...

C: It's your time to shine!

_[Megatron: What are you waiting for!?! ATTEND ME!_

_SS: Barricade revives Megatron.]_

C: Wow, we made it.

_[OS: Megatron revives Brawl.]_

S: Maybe?

O: Tch, [deeper voice] Decepticons! Repair your leader at once!

C: Nice job!

S: The first time I’ve been active-

_[OS: Megatron begins getting hit with fire from behind, and whirls around to try and spot the culprit.]_

O: Oh? Ah! What is hitting me!?! Where are they coming from? Oh my god, I hate them all.

_[OS: Megatron goes down almost simultaneously with the offending Aerialbot, as his Fusion Cannon shot hits after he’d already fallen.]_

O: Okay, I got him, but I died again, help. [laughs]

S: Where…?

_[OS: Barricade can be seen a few yards away, his back to Megatron.]_

O: I'm behind you, I can see you, Specs. I’m behind you. [laughs]

_[Brawl: I’m gonna have fun with this!]_

O: What?

_[SS: Barricade revives Megatron.]_

O: Thank you!

_[OS: Megatron jumps up, running through a sniper rifle on the ground and continuing on to the next platform.]_

O: That is a sniper rifle, by the way. I have one.

C: Yeah, I wasn't uh... wasn't interested in it after I realized.

S: I had it, I think. Maybe.

C: What’s over here?

_[CS: Brawl jumps off the main series of platforms and onto a tilted piece of debris.]_

O: Over where?

C: I'm- I’m not in a happy place right now.

S: [laughs] Yes, I can see-

_[SS: Barricade is standing WHERE HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE, and Brawl off on the tilted debris.]_

O: And that’s how Chezni died, _again_.

C: I’m very stuck!

S: [laughs] You- you need to jump back over where I am.

C: Uh, alright, here goes nothing!

O: I don’t even see where he is.

_[CS: Brawl jumps back on the platform, landing near Megatron.]_

O: Oh, okay.

C: That was- that was clearly not the way we need to go.

O: No shit. [laughs] No shit, Sherlock!

_[OS: The party continues some light platforming in a shooting game based around giant robots, as you do.]_

O: Oh god, now I just want to hear Megatron say, “No shit, Sherlock.” [laughs]

C: Frank Welker.

O: Heh, no shit, Sherlock!

_[OS: Megatron jumps onto one of the larger pieces of debris that’s still mostly intact, and gets gunned down by another Aerialbot.]_

O: Oh my god, no, dammit! Help! I died again. Cuz, fliers are the worst.

_[CS: Brawl runs over to Megatron, before collapsing as well.]_

O: I was trying to get the health too!

C: Oh no.

S: Uh.

_[Brawl: Fancy shooting, if I do say so myself!_

_SS: Under fire, Barricade revives Brawl.]_

C: Specs, this is the second time she- she saved us.

O: Thank you! I want that health!

S: May I have the ammo?

O: Uh, yeah go ahead.

_[OS: Megatron jumps up some boxes and smashes the health box on top of them and picks up the energon.]_

S: Oh.

C: Oh my gosh, I'm down again.

S: Uh…

_[OS: Megatron jumps down and begins reviving Brawl.]_

O: I got him.

S: Okay.

O: Go get the ammo.

S: I got the ammo, um…

_[SS: Barricade shoots at a distant Autobot with the rocket launcher.]_

O: Ow!

_[OS: Megatron attempts to take aim through the sniper rifle’s scope but is hit by some fire.]_

S: _Ohhhhhhhh~_

C: Man, this game loves to put-

_[OS: Megatron gets behind cover and takes out one of the Autobots shooting at the party.]_

S: I can- I didn’t real- I forgot I could scroll through weapons.

O: Yeah, that helps with the whole ammo thing.

_[CS: Brawl jumps over to where one of the remaining Autobots is and shoots him with the shotgun.]_

S: Yes, yes it does. I don't play games- I don't play games like this very much, I've mentioned.

O: Uh yeah, I just think it's funny cuz I would have been in some serious shit if I hadn't been doing that cuz again, the Fusion Cannon’s only got 20 shots. It’s why I need two weapons or I’m kinda fucked.

S: [sighs]

_[OS: The party continues fighting until the rest of the Autobots are offlined.]_

O: Okay, beaten- er, battered- broke- battered and broken, but we are here.

C: That's pretty accurate, I feel battered and broken right now.

_[SS: The party continues onwards.]_

O: Oh my god, stupid fucking flyers!

_[SS: A little ways ahead, some Aerialbots are shooting at Megatron.]_

O: I hate them. [laughs]

_[OS: The two Autobots are dispatched.]_

C: Yeah, they're pretty rough.

S: [screams]

C: Uh-oh.

O: Are we gonna have to restart again?

_[OS: Megatron turns around to find Barricade just sitting in the middle of the platform in car mode.]_

S: No, I was just afraid I went off- I was afraid I went off-

O: [laughs] I- I just love that I hear a scream, turn around, and there’s a tiny purple car.

S: [laughs]

O: It’s- it’s wonderful. I just want you to know that, it was wonderful.

C: Pretty stinkin’ funny.

O: It was just like, “Ahhh! I turned into a car!” Uh, I’m at two bars, how’s your guys’ health feeling?

_[CS: Brawl follows Megatron up to another structure, but then looks off to the right and gets a terrible, awful idea.]_

C: One bar.

S: One.

O: Okay, grab that.

_[CS: Brawl jumps, off the main platforms, attempting to land on some floating debris, but instead dies as soon as he touches it.]_

C: Oh... apparently you're not supposed to go over there.

S: [laughs]

O: [sighs] Why- why do you guys want to hurt me, that’s the-

_[OS: The Mission Failed screen appears, Owls selects Restart From Last Checkpoint.]_

C: I just want to explore.

O: NO! No! Not in this game you don’t!

C: Ohhh, no!

_[OS: The party spawns in exactly where they have the last two times._

_(COM) Soundwave: Megatron, I have downloaded the station’s log. Transmitting history._

O: You have got to stop dying!

_[Megatron: Fascinating! According to this, a quantity of Dark Energon became unstable… and the resulting explosion destroyed this part of the station.]_

C: Alright, alright, no more exploring.

O: No more exploring and falling off!

C: Ugh…

O: I blame you!

C: Yeah…

_[OS: Megatron walks out of the room, and grabs the sheild from the ledge._

_Brawl: Dark Energon did all of THIS?_

_Megatron: Those fools had no idea how to control it! I’ll not make the same mistake!]_

S: Baah… I hate... that we’re going over this, again.

C: Yeah, it's bad enough that it's horrible, but it's like, the third time we have to do it.

_[SS: Barricade and Brawl make their way out of the room. Barricades stops and investigates from the ledge before jumping down to the ground below.]_

O: Yep, now it's my turn to fall off, don'tcha know?

C: [laughs]

S: Emm…

_[SS: Autobots attack, the party returns fire.]_

O: That's fine, I can just miss with every damn shot.

S: Ahh!

_[OS: Megatron shoots down a distant Autobot.]_

S: Wah!

O: The noises you're making, are you aware you’re making them? [laughs]

S: [laughs] Yes! I know I make them. I didn't say they were smart!

O & S: [laughs]

_[OS: The fighting continues. An Aerialbot flies over Megatron and Barricade dropping bombs on them.]_

O: Oh bugger.

S: Errm…

_[OS: Megatron takes out the Autobot that had previously attacked.]_

O: Goodbye!

C: Oh my goodness uh, I'm down.

S: I don't know where you are.

O: I do.

_[OS: Megatron begins running towards Brawl.]_

S: Oh, okay, you're behind me.

O: [If] you can shoot the flyer that's shooting me though, that would be great.

_[CS: Brawl takes out the shooting Autobot and Megatron revives him.]_

S: Uhh…

O: Or did Che- or did Chezni get them?

S: Someone got it, that was not me, so…

O: Must’ve-

C: I- I shot it while I was down. I got a lucky shot.

_[CS: The party continues forward, Brawl grabs some health from a nearby box.]_

S: I don't remember where we're supposed to go.

O: No, we're supposed to go over there, it's just I heard them talking and was trying to get’em to come out so I could shoot them from further away.

_[SS: Megatron is looking off in front of the party, backing up before jumping over the gap.]_

S: Wah!

_[OS: Megatron lands on the mostly intact structure, getting fired at by Autobots.]_

O: Oh my god, you are all the worst!

_[SS: Barricade shoots down an Aerialbot._

_Barricade: Should’ve stayed out of my sight!]_

S: Woh..

_[OS: Megatron takes out an Autobot with his Fusion Cannon._

_Autobot: Noooo!]_

O: [imitating Autobot] Nooooo!

S: Nyah… [laughs]

O: Okay, I actually am at full health, do you guys need any health? There is-

C: I'm at three.

S: I'm at one bar, I am not sure where the health is?

_[SS: Barricade looks around, Megatron runs by and jumps up on some boxes where a health box has been placed.]_

O: It's right up here.

S: Oh!

O: On the-

S: The- the- okay.

O: The crate.

_[SS: Barricade smashes the crate, healing back to full health.]_

S: Okie dokie, thank you.

_[OS: After taking out the Autobot directly ahead, Megatron uses his hover ability.]_

O: [quietly] Shit.

_[OS: Megatron takes aim at an Autobot, but Brawl comes into frame, his entire upper half spinning in circles while holding his weapon, and takes out the Autobot instead.]_

O: Pfft- I love the twirly thing, it's hilarious.

C: [laughs]

S: Ahh...

C: I thought, why not?

S: Bahh…

_[OS: The party defeats the rest of the Autobots and begins moving forward again.]_

S: Woo!

O: Alright, so what are we not going to do?

_[OS: Brawl reaches about the point where he died last time, and takes a sudden right.]_

C: Oh, there's a thing over there!

O: I will hurt you.

C & S: [laugh]

_[OS: Brawl stops and waits for Megatron to pass him.]_

O: You're in the other room, I actually can physically hurt you.

C: Heh, heh.

O: This has to be a checkpoint, right- right? So we can stop doing that damn part! [laughs]

C: You would assume.

_[SS: Megatron reaches the door, and Barricade is teleported into the room as he enters it.]_

C: I’m at two health, there's a health- oh just kidding.

O: Oh shit, I’m sorry!

C: Nah, it’s alright.

O: There’s a weapon over here.

_[CS: Megatron smashes the weapon chest.]_

C: I’m out of uh, almost all my bullets.

O: It's another sniper rifle.

C: Well, when in Rome.

_[CS: Brawl picks up the sniper rifle, following after the rest of the group._

_Brawl: This matches my treads!]_

O: [snorts] You uh, havin’ fun back there? [laughs]

C: Don't make fun of my treads.

O: Brawl- is that one Brawl? That one’s Brawl, right?

C: Yeah.

S: Yes, I'm Barricade, I'm the car.

_[OS: Megatron looks down from a ledge, blue electricity is sparking below.]_

O: Gotcha, okay.

[ **Note:** I can confidently say that after watching this a zillion times and typing up the transcript, I will never get Brawl and Barricade mixed up ever again.]

S: Are we supposed to shoot something?

O: Um, we- possibly.

_[OS: Megatron attempts to jump over the gap, but falls down. The electricity does no apparent damage.]_

O: Oh yes, maybe?

_[SS: Brawl jumps down after Megatron.]_

C: No, apparently we just drop down.

O: Oh... then we’re fine, okay.

_[SS: Barricade jumps down and party continues down a mostly intact hallway. Megatron grabs some ammo from a box and shoots an Aerialbot hovering outside a ruined section of the hallway.]_

C: Uh, I’m at two health, I'm just gonna grab this. Oh, tha’s a sheild nevermind.

O: I still have- I still have a shield, you should take it, it heals you.

S: _Ohh- ohh~_

_[SS: Barricade spots a computer console.]_

C: I already did.

S: There’s a thing to interact with, want me to interact with it?

O: Yep, go ahead and press- press the button Specs!

S: It opened a-

O: Pull the lever, Kronk!

_[OS: The door opens to reveal a wide open area, one half of which is open to space.]_

O: Okay, this looks like a bossy fight typey room, right?

S: Yeah…

O: Come on, where are ya fuckers gonna come from?

_[CS: The floor below the party beings to crack and slide to the left.]_

C: Woah!

O: Okay, running!

_[SS: The party runs across the breaking floor._

_Barricade: The floor is splitting apart!_

_Megatron: Quickly--jump to the other side!]_

O: Oh shit.

S: [high pitched trill of distress]

C & S: [laugh]

C: Jumping to the other side, accompanied by opera singing.

O: [singing] Wah!

S: [laughs]

_[SS: Everyone makes it to the solid ground on the other side. Brawl and Barricade enter a small closed off area.]_

O: Who knew that uh, Barricade had such a pretty voice?

_[CS: Megatron hops by and Brawl follows him into a room.]_

S: [starts laughing really hard]

C: [laughs]

O: [laughs] Oh god, I killed her!

S: [continues to laugh]

_[CS: Brawl turns around, and on the HUD, it is obvious that Barricade is still in the little room they entered.]_

O: Uh honey, there’s a shot gun if you want to get rid of that Sniper Rifle.

C: Uh, I don't really care, but I will swap just because it fills up my ammo.

_[SS: Specs is standing off by herself.]_

C: Where… uh, Specs is stranded by the way.

O: Uh... you need to come around over here, and then up here, and then through the door and you’re good.

_[SS: Barricade turns a corner and sees Megatron and Brawl on top of a fallen column. He then follows Megatron into the door.]_

S: Okay.

O: Actually, wait- no the rocket launcher is fine cuz it lat- it uh, it locks-on to people.

_[OS: Megatron turns around and walks over to the rocket launcher.]_

C: I-

O: When I’m not playing as Megatron I really like it.

C: I couldn't figure out how to get it to lock-on.

_[In-game cinematic: The party walks into a room where a large reactor of some sort is visible behind glass directly in front of them. Starscream flies up and around it in vehicle mode, before stopping in front of the party and transforming into robot mode._

_Starscream: Impossible! No one has ever survived to reach this place!_

_Megatron: You shall soon learn, Starscream… *I* decide what is possible and what isn’t!]_

O: Like being made of lava, or something for some reason.

_[Starscream: Guards! Hold him off while I destroy the last of the Dark Energon remnants!]_

O: I'm sorry, the fact that his mouth is red confuses me. [laughs]

_[OS: Starscream turns to a console on the reactor and begins using it. The camera pans and below him we see a dozen or so Autobots exit through a door on the lower level of the room.]_

S: His mouth and his eyes are lit by the same substance.

O: Yeah, and I’m like, should that be connected? I don’t think it should. [laughs] Just a thought.

C: [laughs] It’s like, does it hurt?

O: Does it hurt to be like, internal lava?

_[OS: Megatron runs forward into a newly opened door. Standing on the ledge they entered on he takes aim at some sentry guns in the distance.]_

S: Where are you guys? Oh, there you are.

C: We’re over here.

S: Whoo. Eww..

C: Eh, here goes nothing.

_[CS: Brawl jumps down, and runs up to one of the remaining sentries, taking it out with his shoot gun at point blank range.]_

S: Ahhhhhhhh!

O: [laughs]

S: I don't like falling!

O: You're a giant robot, you're indestructible, you're fine!

S: I mean personally!

O & S: [laugh]

_[CS: Brawl continues to run ahead, attacking any other Autobots in the vicinity._

_Starscream: STOP HIM! I need more time to initiate the sequence!_

_Megatron: We cannot let Starscream succeed! Do you hear me? I WON’T ALLOW IT!]_

C: That's fair, it'd be like if I saw a spider... in the game. There's no- there's there Cybertronian spiders, right?

_[OS: Megatron is further back, shooting things with the scope, while Brawl and Barricade continue to engage Autobots at a closer range.]_

S: We-

O: Uh, you saw them, dear! Remember, they were in the-

C: No, like actual spiders.

S: Uh-

O: What about the things on that map- the Autobot map? Do you not count those?

[ **Note:** We usually play a few rounds of escalation as part of our mic check when we’re recording these episodes, one of the levels has a bunch of little spidery things running around.]

C: No, those were just little- little critters.

O: They were definitely supposed to be spiders.

C: I mean like, full-on spiders.

_[OS: The party continues to more forward, taking out enemies with little trouble.]_

S: Aww, I'm out of ammo.

_[SS: Barricade swaps between his two guns and has little to no remaining ammo.]_

C: If I see any I'll let you know.

S: Thank you, I guess I'm going to have to, um…

O: Are you out in vehicle mode too?

S: Oh no, you're right! I forgot about vehicle mode.

_[SS: Barricade transforms into vehicle mode.]_

O: Oh, there's ammo over here.

S: Okie-dokie.

O: And health, so if you guys need health.

S: I'm good on health, actually but-

_[SS: Barricade continues through a door while in vehicle mode, running into an Autobot before quickly reversing and shooting at them.]_

S: WAHHH! Let me kill you!

C & O: [laugh]

O: [fighting back laughter] So- so polite! [laughs]

S: I’m sor-

O: “WAHHH! Let me kill you!”

O & S: [laugh]

S: I'm sorry, my base personality doesn't change.

_[SS: The party has reached the bottom of the room with the reactor in it. There are a bunch of Autobots, including two very large one carrying turret guns and firing on them.]_

C: What is that big thing, and why won't it die?

_[OS: Megatron shoots repeatedly at one of the large Autobots with the sniper rifle, eventually dropping it.]_

C: My goodness!

O: You’re welcome. [laughs]

S: Though I do need some ammo.

C: There’s some over here.

O: Ah, shit.

_[OS: Megatron attempts the same thing on the second large Autobot as the first, but runs out of sniper ammo and must swap to his Fusion Cannon.]_

O: Gah, die!

_[OS: Megatron runs up to the Autobot, while still firing, and throws a grenade, while moving backwards to get to cover, Megatron goes down.]_

O: Oh god I died, sorry help!

_[CS: Brawl revives Megatron.]_

S: _Ohh!~_

_[CS: Brawl runs over to the remaining large Autobot and uses his whirling ability, hitting the Autobot repeatedly and defeating it._

_Starscream: You’re too late! I have initiated the destruction sequence!]_

S: Oh.

C: What a jerk!

O: Oh shit.

S: Bahhhh!

_[SS: In vehicle mode Barricade moves forward, shooting at a bunch of Autobots who have spawned in, but dies.]_

O: Oh my god, I'm gonna die again.

O: Ugh, I'm dead, help!

S: So am I- same, sorry!

C: Oh, okay.

_[CS: Brawl revives Barricade.]_

C: This could be better.

S: Okay.

_[CS: Brawl goes down while heading towards where Megatron’s down.]_

C: Nuts! I'm down er, rescue Specs first.

O: Yeah, uh, we're getting very, very low.

S: Ah, hold E!

_[SS: Barricade begins to revive Brawl.]_

O: Yeah…

S: Shit!

O: Yep, sorry!

_[OS: The Mission Failed screen appears. Owls selects Restart from Last Checkpoint.]_

C: Oh!

S: Sorry!

C: No, you're fine I thought, um... I thought Owls was up.

_[OS: The party spawns in the room with the reactor, getting attacked by the first wave of Autobots.]_

O: No.

C: I didn’t realize it was Specs.

O: Oh god…

S: I’m sorry.

O: WHY!?! Ugh! Sorry.

_[OS: Megatron is being attacked by one of the large Autobots nearby, he runs forward but is taken down.]_

S: Oh, are you down?

O: Yes, sorry!

S: Shit- shoot where are you? Oh-

O: I don’t know!

_[OS: Megatron is revived by Brawl. Megatron runs into the hallway he’d been using as cover previously and grabs ammo from a nearby chest.]_

S: Shit. Sorry, I am sitting in a darkened room and the only light is my computer monitor.

_[CS: Barricade is down, Brawl transforms and moves towards him, shooting at one of the large Autobots as he does so.]_

C: Sounds like a good life.

S: I’m also down.

C: Oh my gosh, I can't- ugh.

_[CS: Brawl goes down beside Barricade.]_

O: I can- I'm trying to shoot him if you can get her.

C: No, I- I fell down.

O: Oh, crap.

_[OS: Megatron transforms into tank mode and moves towards were Brawl and Barricade have fallen.]_

S: Oh.

O: Pfft, okay!

_[OS: Megatron goes down, and the Mission Failed screen appears. Owls selects Restart from Last Checkpoint.]_

S: Oh well, at least we- at least we were at the last checkpoint.

O: Yeah, just I need to move immediately, because I'm getting shot when I spawn in, which sucks.

_[OS: The party spawns in the room with the reactor, getting attacked by the first wave of Autobots. Megatron retreats to the hallway as before, but Brawl picks up the ammo instead.]_

S: Same! I’m dead.

_[CS: Brawl revives Barricade.]_

O: Ugh, come on!

_[OS: Megatron fires on a large Autobot, missing several times.]_

C: Shoot-

_[OS: Megatron transforms into tank mode and fires on the large Autobot, but falls down.]_

O: Now I’m down. [sighs] Help us, Specs!

_[CS: Brawl is running towards Megatron, but dies at almost the same time as him.]_

C: We died in sync.

O: I'm out of ammo. Wait, maybe I can-

_[SS: Barricade revives Megatron.]_

O: Thank you!

_[SS: Barricade goes down.]_

S: And I'm out, sorry I-

O: I'm completely out of ammo.

S: No, I mean I- I'm dead.

_[OS: The Mission Failed screen appears. Owls selects Restart from Last Checkpoint.]_

O: Oh my god, that sucked. Chezni, the am- the ammo you took? I need that.

C: All right, I’ll leave th-

O: Like, really badly, I have no ammo.

_[OS: Megatron falls back to the hallway and grabs the ammo.]_

O: Thank you!

_[SS: Barricade is downed by one of the large Autobots.]_

S: Oh, well, shit. I'm dead, I wonder if- no, self-destructing it's just pointless at this point.

O: Uhh... honey, can you get her?

C: No, I'm down.

O: Oh.

S: I’m dead.

_[CS: The Mission Failed screen appears.]_

C: I kind of felt like we just died there.

_[CS: The party spawns in the room with the reactor, getting attacked by the first wave of Autobots. Brawl falls back and enters one of the rooms the party ran through earlier. He sees a health box.]_

C: Alright, I'm gonna hang back and uh, I’m gonna go- oh, there's a bunch of health back here!

O: Well, that's good to know.

_[SS: Barricade is downed by one of the large Autobots.]_

S: I'm dead.

O: [sighs] Iyaiyai, this level sucks.

_[OS: Megatron runs closer to the large Autobots and begins firing on them with the Fusion Cannon.]_

C: We can do it. The real problem is when one of us goes down- like, I can't- I can't stand still long enough to heal- to pick you up, cuz those guys are just gonna shoot us.

_[CS: Brawl revives Barricade.]_

O: Oh my god! I died again! And I can’t see them to actually help.

_[CS: Brawl jumps over the large Autobots, heading toward where Megatron has fallen, but is taken out by the Autobots.]_

O: Oh my god.

_[CS: Barricade runs up to Brawl but also goes down.]_

S: Well, shit.

O: Pfft, ugh!

C: Alright, so hold up. When we start, everybody fall back.

_[OS: The Mission Failed screen appears.]_

O: Yeah.

C: Just fall back, don't- don't keep going.

O: Okay.

_[OS: Owls selects Restart from Last Checkpoint.]_

S: Okay.

C: There's uh, two packs of health in the hallway.

_[Megatron: Decepticons! Repair your leader at once!_

_OS: The party spawns in the room with the reactor, getting attacked by the first wave of Autobots. Megatron retreats to the hallway and grabs the ammo before heading towards the room Brawl had found earlier.]_

C: So, over here.

O: Specs, over here.

S: I'm following.

O: You guys should take that.

C: I- I'm already at three.

_[SS: Barricade picks up health.]_

O: Okay… _._ uh, grenades are great, grenades are great.

_[SS: The two large Autobots are slowly moving towards the party, Barricade transforms into car mode briefly before turning back.]_

S: Uh, shit. I don’t wanna be a car right now!

_[CS: Brawl transforms into a tank and begins firing on the large Autobots.]_

C: Oh wait, I'm a tank, right! Hold on, I totally forgot I'm a tank.

_[OS: Megatron also transforms into a tank, and is able to take out one of the large Autobots with a few shots.]_

C: Nice!

_[Starscream: You’re too late! I have initiated the destruction sequence!_

_OS: The party heads back towards the man room, and comes under fire from the second wave of Autobots.]_

S: Ah, fuck you Starscream.

_[SS: Fires on the Autobots, taking several hits in the process.]_

S: Oh…

O: Crap.

_[OS: Megatron takes out several Autobots with his Fusion Cannon.]_

C: Is everyone up?

_[CS: Brawl continues fighting with the remaining Autobots.]_

O: Yep, I'm gonna grab the ammo over here though, if it's still here.

_[SS: Barricade picks up one of the turret guns dropped by the large Autobots and begins shooting at Autobots.]_

S: What do I do with-

_[OS: The remaining Autobots are destroyed._

_Megatron: Quick! Blast the containment field!]_

C: I think the shotgun might be the worst gun ever invented.

S: _Ohhhh!~_

_[SS: Barricade looks up and sees a red reticule on the Dark Energon containment unit in front of him.]_

C: Did we- did we do it?

O: I don’t know-

S: I shot a thing!

C & O: [laughs]

O: Good job, Specs, you shot a thing!

_[In-game cinematic: Megatron walks forward towards the Dark Energon, and Starscream transforms and lands nearby._

_Starscream: You arrogant FOOL! No one has ever survived direct contact!]_

C & S: [laugh]

S: Apparently, it was the containment unit for the Dark Energon.

O: And Megatron's just like, “Yum! Crack!”

_[Megatron steps into the Dark Energon, getting tossed around a lot, while absorbing its power.]_

C: That looks healthy.

O: Definitely!

_[Starscream begins backing away from Megatron in fear._

_Starscream: What? This isn’t possible! No! No one can control Dark Energon! It dominates and destroys everything it touches!_

_Megatron: Hahahaha I am… the dominator. I... am the destroyer!]_

O: Again, if he’s absorbing Dark Energron then Prime makes zero sense if this happens beforehand, but what do I know? I’m just- just me.

_[Megatron: I am MEGATRON! Decepticons, receive your birthright!_

_Starscream transforms and flies off. Megatron zaps Brawl and Barricade with Dark Energon powers.]_

O: [laughs] Is it bad all you can think right now, is that Starscream is like, “I'm scared and aroused?”

_[Brawl: I feel the power!_

_Barricade: Its amazing!_

_Megatron: Now--I shall deal with Starscream!]_

O: As he- as he flees, obviously that’s what’s happening.

_[New Objective: Destroy the Dark Energon Containment.]_

C: Oops.

O: Oh right, I have to do that.

_[OS: Megatron heads towards the room’s exit, stopping in front of a transparent barrier and using Dark Energon powers to break it and destroy most of the Autobots behind it as Dark Energon crystals erupt from the ground.]_

S: Oh... okay.

_[OS: Megatron smashes an injuried Autobot with his mace, and continues on to another door, using Dark Energon to blast through it.]_

O: Sorry, um, Megatron's just gotten the abilities of robot-

_[A cinematic plays, making the volume jump up for the players.]_

O: [somewhat muted] Woah!

_[Megatron, Brawl and Barricade blast through a door, walking into a room with Starscream and Jetfire_

_Megatron: Dark Energon is MINE to command! Through my will ALONE shall Cybertron be restored!_

_Jetfire: It’s too unstable, Megatron! Using that power… you’re endangering our entire world!_

_Starscream: Teach me, Megatron._

_Starscream pushes past Jetfire, walking towards the group._

_Starscream: Teach me to wield Dark Energon, the way you do! And I will serve you.]_

S: Well, that is an about-face Starscream!

O: I told you, he was scared and aroused! [laughs]

_[Megatron: And what could you possible offer me--that I cannot simply take?_

_Starscream: The supply of Dark Energon aboard this station is nearly exhausted. I know how to manufacture more. There was once an Energon Bridge that fed this station directly. I know how to reconnect it._

_Jetfire: TRAITOR! Zeta Prime will hear about this!_

_Jetfire transforms and flies out of the space station. Thundercracker and Skywarp attempt to fire on him, but they miss and he escapes._

_Starscream: Shall I send Thundercracker and Skywarp to retrieve him… Lord Megatron?]_

O: Who are here for some reason, now.

_[Megatron: No. I want the Autobots’ leader to know his doom approaches. Once we have this station online, nothing can stop me! Now go. Find this Energon bridge and reactivate it… for your new master._

_Starscream, Thundercracker, and Skywarp all transform and fly off, heading towards Cybertron. We cut to a glowing purple Decepticon badge on Starscream’s wing, and the chapter ends.]_

S: Is this the end of the first chapter?

O: I believe so, cuz they think maybe the next chapter is playing as the Seekers. Anyway, uh, this has been Afterspark Podcast doing a Let's Play. I'm Owls!

S: I'm Specs.

[silence]

O: Uh...

C: Oh, I'm Chezni.

A: [laugh]

O: See ya next time-

C: Who am I?

O: Who am I? Who are you? Have a good day folks, bye!

C: Bye.

S: Bye.

[Outro Music] 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,
> 
> You may have noticed this was a little different from our normal fare. It took quite a while to do, and we'd love feedback on what worked or even what could be improved for readability's sake. If you've got feedback feel free to leave a comment here or message Owls on her Tumblr at [@twilight-owl](https://twilight-owl.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Thanks!


	2. Fuel of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War for Cybertron - Decepticon Campaign  
> Chapter 2: Fuel of War  
> The universe's most complicated booty call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **C:** Chezni **| [CS]** Chezni’s screen
> 
> **O:** Owls |  **[OS]** Owls’ screen
> 
> **S:** Specs **| [SS]** Specs’ screen
> 
> Events happening in-game will be denoted by  _ [bracketed italics] _ .
> 
> Chezni and Specs are playing on a keyboard and mouse.
> 
> Owls is playing on an Xbox controller.

[Intro Music]

O: Hi guys! Welcome back to our Let's Play of _War for Cybertron._ We're gonna be doing Chapter 2 today, and playing as the Jets. I’m gonna take Starscream cuz he's got a sniper rifle. (This is literally the only reason.)

S: [snickers]

O: If you remember, last time, uh, Megatron went full crackhead on us and was trying to get Dark Energon to snort- I _mean_ to take over Cybertron. And was basically arguing with a giant holographic [hologram] Starscream the entire time, and then at the end Starscream's like, [screechy voice] “Teach me how to control Dark Energon it'll work for you!” [normal voice] Um, so now we're being Megatron's bitch.

S: Pretty much.

O: Does that pretty much sum it up?

S: Yeah… yeah.

C: I mean, speak for yourself, uhhh…

O: [laughs]

C: Yes, master.

O: You’re just like, Skywarp- Skywarp, is nobody's bitch, thank you! [laugh] Um, Specs is gonna be doing Thundercracker and Chezni is gonna be doing Skywarp, sooo…

C: That sounds like a drug.

O: [laughs] Uh, yeah, so Chezni's gonna be doing the Bojack?

A: [laugh]

O: I can’t remember what the chapter’s called... we are in Chapter 2, _Fuel of War._ Uh, so, we ready to start then?

C: Oh yeah.

S: Sure.

_[OS: Character selection screen. Characters are assigned as follows:_

_Chezni - Skywarp_

_Specspectacle - Thundercracker_

_Twilight-Owls - Starscream]_

O: The cool thing about the jets is we can _fly!_ This is the only good thing I have to say about this.

_[OS: Owls selects “Start Game.”]_

C: Now it really sounds like a drug.

O: [laughs] With Thundercracker, you too can fly!

C: [laughs]

_[The game starts and the volume jumps for the players.]_

O: [muted] Oh, dammit, I know it’s coming!

_[A cinematic opens with a text crawl being narrated by Steve Blum._

_Narrator: Anxious to prove themselves worthy of the Decepticon name, Starscream and his minions fly to Cybertron._

_The screen flickers slightly.]_

C: Woah.

_[Narrator: There, they must reconnect the energon bridge that will enable Megatron to manufacture more Dark Energon and conquer the Autobots once and for all.]_

O: Space crack. And conquer Optimus Prime once and for all- got it, got it, got it, I’m tracking.

_[OS: The game swaps to gameplay and the volume spikes again.]_

O: [muted] Noooo, dammit.

_[(COM) Megatron: Your orders are clear Starscream! Infiltrate the Cybertron underground and reactivate the Energon Bridge. I want that power online!_

_OS: All three seekers fly down into an enclosed area, and shoot missiles at a giant fan to gain access to another underground area on Cybertron. The area they enter has various metal platforms rising out of what looks to be a sea of blue energon in the bottom of the area._

_The screen reads, “New Objective: Find the Hidden Underground Entrance.”_

_Starscream: Megatron, Thundercracker has detected several Autobots up ahead. Jetfire must have warned Zeta Prime and moved to intercept us already!_

_(COM) Megatron: Enough of your whining! If the Autobots try to stop you, crush them! Report back to me when you have found the Bridge. Megatron out!]_

S: Oh. Yay. I get to fly, don’t I?

_[SS: Thundercracker rocks slightly back and forth in jet mode.]_

O: Yup!

C: Yeahhhh.

O: Don’t- don’t uh, touch that blue stuff, you will explode if I remember properly?

_[Starscream: That imbecile thinks I’m expendable. ME!? He’ll soon learn to never underestimate Starscream!_

_OS: Starscream looks down at the blue energon visible on the floor of the level, and then uses his thrusters to continue on ahead.]_

S: Blue stuff, uhhh?

O: On the bottom there.

C: The ocean below us.

O: Maybe I’m wrong.

S: Ahh. Okie dokie.

C: Maybe- maybe she's wrong Thundercracker, go try it!

S: [laughs] No, thank you!

C: [high pitched voice] Come on Thundercracker!

_[CS: Thundercracker and Skywarp are still back at the beginning of the level, flying around slowly trying to get their bearings.]_

O: So- my damn headphones cut out again.

S: Ohh.

C: Are they not working?

O: I can hear you guys it's just it's really, really _annoying_ cuz it's only in one ear.

C: Okay. Well, if we ever need to solve puzzles using stereo we'll let you know.

O: [laughs] Hey, I didn't say we needed it for recording, I said it's annoying. Now catch up with me, will you?

C: I don't know how to do this!

O: You’re just a jet!

_[SS: Thundercracker continues moving slowly forward. Starscream turns around and comes towards the other players before using his thrusters to speed off again.]_

S: How do you go fast?

O: Well, um-

C: If you hold right- right-click, you move super fast.

S: _OH._

_[SS: Starscream disappears off into the distance, Skywarp activates his thrusters and proceeds to fly around erratically, and Thundercracker follows shortly afterwards.]_

C: Yeah, I know, I wish I would have known that when we were doing Escalation [game mode].

S: I’m good at-

O: [quietly] Oh, this is not the right way.

_[OS: Starscream flies into a dead end and turns around to go back the direction he came.]_

S: Where are we supposed to go?

O: Over here.

_[OS: Starscream heads towards a doorway, transforming and landing on the platform. Some sort of round machine detaches itself from the wall up ahead._

_Skywarp: What is THAT?_

_Thundercracker: An Autobot probe. We should avoid it to prevent detection.]_

C: Can I shoot it?

_[Starscream: Like that puny probe could stop me. Blast them and get on with it!_

_CS: Skywarp flies forward in jet mode and shoots the probe, destroying it.]_

C: Ha! What do they mean, ‘avoid it’?

S: Ahh!

_[CS: Thundercracker flies by, bouncing off the floor.]_

C: You can just blow it up!

S: -up!

O: Sorry guys, once sec. [Owls makes another attempt to get her headphones working.]

C: Sure, let’s take a quick pause.

_[SS: All the jets stop, and Thundercracker begins looking around at their surroundings.]_

O: You like, cut in.

C: Let's have storytime! Thundercracker, tell Skywarp a story!

O & S: [laugh]

S: Life is short, and then you die!

C: Holy crap!

A: [laugh]

O: Okay-

C: But we're late millions of years old, built from naturally-occurring gears and levers!

O & S: [laugh]

O: And naturally-occurring thrusters, apparently. Anyway, let's go, I'm just gonna have to live with this. That’s annoying.

_[SS: Everyone begins moving forward again.]_

C: And naturally occur- occurring combustible fuel sources.

S: Ah!

_[OS: Starscream flies ahead, and a drone begins draining his health with a blue beam. Shortly after, it is destroyed by Thundercracker.]_

O: Thank you. Far more polite than Starscream would ever be, but that's fine.

_[CS: Skywarp is being targeted by another drone.]_

C: Ah! Ah! This one’s draining my brain!

O: Where are you?

_[Thundercracker: I have never traveled this deeply into Cybertron’s interior before._

_Skywarp: [groans] You are as boring as ever, Thundercracker.]_

C: Half dead.

_[SS: Thundercracker moves slowly ahead leaving the other two behind. The location marker for their next objective is ticking done off to the right of the screen.]_

S: Oh, I think we’re supposed- I think we’re working on a timer?

O: Uh, I don’t think so.

_[OS: Starscream takes out the last of the drones.]_

S: _Ohh~_

O: That’s not a timer, that's how close we are to a thing.

S: Oh.

_[OS: Starscream flies towards the opening the other two Seekers have disappeared through but transforms before he actually reaches the platform, falling down.]_

O: Oh no! Okay, that was dumb.

_[OS: Starscream lands on some convenient pipes and transforms back into jet mode.]_

S: Shit, was I not supposed to do the thing I did?

O: I don't know, I'm not there yet!

_[SS: Skywarp is standing on a platform off to the left shooting at some moving pods on the other side of the large room he and Thundercracker are in. The pods are being moved up a wall and into a large door that is opening and closing.]_

C: Huh.

S: Or are we supposed to go in there?

C: I have no clue. Let's do it!

S: [laughs]

_[CS: Skywarp jumps up and transforms, attempting to enter while the door is open, but is stopped by an invisible wall._

_Skywarp: Hey! I don’t make a habit out of blowing you up!]_

C: Oh nope, apparently that's bad.

_[OS: Starscream flies upwards in a jerky motion.]_

C: It really bothers me that there's not just like a, ‘fly up’ button.

 **Note:** There is- we just didn’t realize it. It’s a bit more obvious in Fall of Cybertron, but it is the same button in both games.

O: Right? It's very annoying.

_[OS: Starscream transforms and lands in a hallway, walking over to the nearby door panel and activating it.]_

S: Yeah.

S: I'm just gonna be a plane.

A: [laughs]

_[SS: The door opens, revealing an Autobot who fires on the party._

_Autobot: Decepticons!_

_The Autobot runs off camera, leaving the Seekers in front of some sort of laser grid that is keeping them from advancing._

_Starscream: What is this? Some kind of Autobot trap?_

_Thundercracker: It’s an enemy detection barrier._

_Skywarp: So it’s a trap!]_

O: [snorts]

_[CS: Starscream moves back and forth in front of the barrier and Skywarp and Thundercracker fire on the edges of the barrier.]_

O: [quietly] Alright… how do we get around this?

_[Thundercracker: The power conduits along the floors should direct us to its power source.]_

O: I got stuck here last time and then felt like a dummy.

_[OS: Skywarp transforms and shoots a glowing spot on the wall the power conduit was leading to, deactivating the barrier._

_Starscream: Stupid Autobots. To think their measly tricks could ever fool Starscream.]_

S: Oh, how did you…?

O: He shot something.

C: I just shot- I just shot where the power conduit went.

O: Yeah.

S: Oh.

C: It was this big thing with all-

O: You know, the smart thing.

_[SS: Skywarp walks over to the destroyed power conduit, and as he walks away Thundercracker shoots at it.]_

C: [laughs]

_[Thundercracker: The power core has to be somewhere in this room.]_

C: Alright Starscream, what's our mission?

O: Ugh, to kill my headphones with a greasy spoon.

_[OS: Starscream walks up to another barrier and uses the scope of his Null Ray to get a better view at the room on the other side.]_

O: Uh… we need to kill the power conduit.

S: Oh-

C: Do more power conduit stuff-

_[OS: Skywarp shoots at the doorframe in jet mode and Starscream walks away, seeing an open area off to the right that Thundercracker is floating in front of.]_

S: Uh…

O: Or maybe we go over here? Can’t remember.

_[OS: Starscream transforms and flies through a narrow hallway, over the same blue energon substance as before.]_

C: I don’t know.

_[OS: Starscream navigates the narrower hallway and lands on in front of another barrier on the platform at the end. He transforms and shoots the power conduit visible on the other side, deactivating the barrier.]_

O: Aha!

_[Starscream: Pathetic machinery.]_

O: [snorts]

_[SS: Thundercracker follows behind a running Starscream, while still in jet mode.]_

O: [laughs] I'm sorry, I just love you guys following along as jets, it's hilarious.

S: [laughs]

_[SS: The group exits the hallway into a small room with a health box and an ammo box off to the left.]_

O: Uh, who needs health?

S: Uh, I need ammo?

O: Go ahead and take it.

C: I have two things of health.

S: Oh-

C: I’m gonna grab it.

S: Someone take health.

_[CS: Thundercracker takes the ammo, and Skywarp grabs the ammo. They both move over to the ledge Starscream is standing on. Below, there is a group of 4 Autobots standing next to each other with their backs to the party, listening to a large Zeta Prime hologram in the middle of the room._

_Zeta Prime: Autobots, this is Zeta Prime. Be on high alert! The Decepticons are planning to re-activate the Energon Bridge. This would grant them access to an unstable energy source powerful enough to jeopardize the entire planet. Any Decepticons activity must be reported immediately, and all Decepticons are to be shot on sight! Zeta Prime out!_

_OS: Starscream watches the Autobots through his scope until Zeta Prime finishes speaking and then he immediately destroys a few of them before backing away from the ledge to reload his gun._

_Starscream: How boring! I’ve read more entertaining maintenance reports._

_Autobot 1: Alert! Alert!_

_SS: Thundercracker is shot by the remaining Autobots.]_

S: [distressed noises]

_[Autobot 2: Focus your fire on that Decepticon!_

_Starscream: None can resist us!]_

C: I guess there are missiles?

_[SS: Skywarp and Thundercracker take out the last Autobot. Skywarp and Starscream begin flying around the room exploring and Skywarp shoots the remaining explosive canisters on the ground. The hallway leading out of the room is blocked by another barrier._

_Skywarp: That was easy!_

_Thundercracker: The others will likely be tougher. I suggest we proceed with caution.]_

O: Who was actually suggesting caution there?

_[Skywarp: My neural circuitry is stinging. Getting past this thing is impossible!_

_Starscream: Keep looking you fool. The answer is here somewhere!]_

O: [snorts]

_[CS: Skywarp finds a door up near the top of the room that is being held shut by some clamps. He shoots the clamps and enters the room, where another power conduit is visible on the wall.]_

C: So, I guess there’s a door up above? And I found a conduit.

_[CS: Skywarp shoots the conduit and exits the way he came.]_

O: Sweet.

S: And I just shot the door that the Autobots were in front of or something? Or someone just did? I don’t know.

_[OS: Starscream and Thundercracker enter the hallway that was previously blocked.]_

C: Well, it is polite to knock.

O: What? [laughs]

C: It's- she shot the door. So she was knocking. That's how Transformers knock, right? With their gun?

_[OS: The party enters a room that is divided in half by a drop across the center of the room. On the other side of the crevice, several Autobots run into view._

_Autobot: [shouting]_

_Skywarp: Rockets!_

_Starscream: Quickly, get to cover!]_

O: I mean, that sounds right. I don't know why that wouldn't be right.

_[OS: Starscream takes several shoots at the opposing Autobots using the Scatter Blaster (shotgun), which isn’t very effective at his current range._

_Thundercracker: My scans indicate that door should lead us to the next canyon.]_

O: Oh my god, why?

_[SS: The group takes out most of the Autobots visible on the other ledge._

_Starscream: They fall so easily!_

_SS: Everyone flies over the gap to reach the other side, where Skywarp and Thundercracker take down the remaining Autobot from the group prior._

_Starscream: Let all that see Starscream tremble in fear!]_

S: Mmm.

C: The best part about being a jet is infinite ammo.

S: Mmm.

O: I forgot about that, that is pretty nice, right?

C: [laughs]

S: What do you mean infinite- **_OH!_ **

C & O: [laugh]

C: That was the best! [laughs]

_[SS: The group takes out another group of Autobots around the corner. Thundercracker staying in jet mode to take advantage of the infinite ammo.]_

S: That's nice. I appreciate that. _Ohh~_

C: Yeah, somehow I'm still getting hit though. I'm still down to half health.

_[OS: The groups another corner to find a third group of Autobots. The group fires on them._

_Autobot: Launching rockets!_

_Skywarp: I got another one!]_

C: I think it's cuz the missiles come after you if you're in jet mode.

S: [distressed noises]

O: Down here? Or do we go the other way?

S: Um-

_[OS: Starscream flies over to what looks like a hole in the floor and looks at it before turning around and spying some ammo.]_

O: No, that’s not the right- **BULLETS!**

_[OS: Starscream runs through the ammo, but doesn’t pick it up.]_

O: Maybe? Why can't I pick it up!?!

C: They aren't flak bullets, are they?

_[SS: Activates a console opening the nearby door.]_

S: I just opened a door?

_[SS: An Autobot charges forward from a small group, activating a glowy blue shield on their frame._

_Autobot: DIE!]_

S: Oh, whoops, sorry.

C: This is what happens when you don't knock! People get very angry.

_[Autobot: Decepticons! Seal the door!_

_CS: The rest of the Autobots run out a doorway behind them and seal the door. The party takes out the lone Autobot._

_Skywarp: Those punks locked us out!_

_Starscream: Stop whining and find another way in!]_

C: So wait, what are we doing here, exactly?

O: Uh, we're trying to turn the space crack bridge back on.

_[OS: Starscream walks over to an opening in the floor and jumps down._

_Thundercracker: My scans show an energon deposit beneath us.]_

C: The space crack bridge?

O: The space crack bridge.

_[Starscream: Perfect! There may be a cave below!]_

C: Okay. Because-

S: It's cave time! I don’t like caves.

_[Skywarp: Where are we?_

_Starscream: We’re NOT where we NEED to be, Skywarp--so keep moving!_

_SS: Thundercracker and Skywarp follow Starscream down through the floor and into another underground room in their jet modes. The underground room is crisscrossed by pipes and flowing energon. The energeron is significantly closer to the party than in previous rooms because the ceilings are lower._

C: Because we need to get our new Lord and Savior, Megatron, his fix.

S: [laughs]

_[Thundercracker: Crude energon is highly volatile, and flying this close to it is very dangerous. We should proceed with caution._

_OS: Starscream transforms and the group flies forward]_

O: No, no, no, no, no, not Lord and Savior, Starscream's new squeeze.

C: Right.

O: [laughs]

_[Skywarp: Tighten your logic circuits, would you Thundercracker? It can’t be THAT bad.]_

C: This is-

S: His new boy toy.

C: -just one big, complicated booty call for Starscream?

O & S: [laugh]

O: YUP! The last level was a drug run, this is a booty call!

A: [laughs]

_[SS: The party reaches an area where they can go up. Starscream activates his thrusters and bumps into the ceiling before maneuvering his way out. Skywarp zips past flying erratically, as Thundercracker brings up the rear flying slowly.]_

C: Oh my gosh, I’m flying drunk!

O: [laughs] So you’re Skywarp, got it.

C: It’s hard to fly when you move fast!

_[CS: Skywarp continues to fly erratically.]_

S: [laughs]

O: That’s why you do it in little bursts!

C: I'm sure there's an innuendo in there somewhere.

_[CS: Starscream flies past, USING HIS THRUSTERS CORRECTLY.]_

O: [screechy voice] “Some of us know how to use our thrusters, Skywarp!”

C: [laughs]

S: I-

O: Sound about right?

_[OS: Thundercracker bumps into Starscream.]_

C: I'm sorry, boss! [laughs] Oh no. Boss, Thundercracker is lost.

O: [laughs]

_[SS: Thundercracker is flying in the middle of a room, turning around slowly. Skywarp zooms over.]_

S: [laughs] Yes, I am where- shoot

C: Things got too steamy for ‘em.

_[OS: Starscream is in a different location than the other two, shooting at a bunch of turrets and Autobots.]_

S: Where are you- where the fuck are we supposed to be going?

C: Through the-

O: Uh, just through the cave, that’s all I got.

C: Through the waterfall.

S: Oh.

_[SS: Thundercracker moves down lower and enters a cave behind the waterfall. Skywarp flies ahead of him.]_

C: You, no, you wanna go down. There you go.

S: Yes, I- I did see that but it- when you guys are going- when I can see your names through the walls it's not very... cohesive for me, okay?

_[OS: Starscream is continuing to shoot Autobots and turrets.]_

C: Makes sense.

S: Sorry, I am NOT drunk flying.

_[CS: Skywarp activates his thrusters and catches up with Starscream, turning to shoot at the remaining turrets.]_

C: [laughs] Sure, sure.

_[Skywarp: No hard feelings, right?_

_SS: Thundercracker catches up with the other two and joins in the fray.]_

S: Ah, fuck.

_[OS: With the Autobots vanquished, Starscream lands and transforms.]_

O: Oh, I desperately want ammo, I'm like completely out [of non-jet ammo]. [laughs] I can't shoot worth shit as a jet, apparently.

O: Also, I need health.

S: There's ammo here, and heals.

_[OS: Starscream runs over to a health chest, destroying it and grabbing the health.]_

O: Okay, where’s the am-

_[OS: Starscream turns and sees the ammo box, running over and destroying it as well.]_

O: Oh, there’s the ammo. Oh sweet god, I have sharp- uh, I have a sniper rifle shit again, okay.

_[Starscream: We’re getting close! The next entrance is just on the far side of this canyon._

_A cinematic starts, as the party enters a large empty area, and a large ship with a whole bunch of Autobots inside drops down from above.]_

S: Oh, goody.

C: How does Starscream know that?

O: Scans. Bullshit. It's a very complicated booty call, honey.

S: I don't know, he worked here?

C: [laughs]

O: I don’t think he did…

C: It’s like his old office?

_[The large ship generates some sort of barrier to keep the party from advancing, and then begins firing mortars from several large cannons on it’s topside.]_

O: [laughs before continuing in a screechy voice] “This’ll show them for kicking me out! Sleeping with the boss, HA!”

C: “Should have installed a coffee machine!”

_[OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator._

_Thundercracker: The Autobot ship is generating an energy shield over the entrance!_

_Starscream: I can see that for myself, Thundercracker. Enough babbling--destroy it!_

_Thundercracker: Target the mortars first!_

_CS: Skywarp flies over to the drop ship and transforms, hitting the mortars with his physical attack before swapping to his guns.]_

S: [sighs]

_[Skywarp: This thing is as crazy as I am!]_

O: [snorts]

_[Starscream: Just blast it! It breaks, like everything else!_

_SS: Thundercracker is shooting at the mortars, swapping targets as they are destroyed.]_

C: I think I did this in Super Star Wars once.

O: [laughs] I mean, probably?

_[OS: Starscream is shooting at the mortars. Autobots are seen flying in close proximity in the background as well as the remaining mortar guns shooting rounds up into the air that disperse and rain down.]_

C: What is shooting at us!?

O: Uh, probably the Autobots.

S: Yeah.

_[SS: Thundercracker destroys another mortar.]_

S: The ship?

O: I tried to take out the motors- the mortars I could see.

_[Starscream: Excellent! Now, target the Aerialbots!_

_Skywarp: I’ll show them some REAL flying!_

_CS: Skywarp flies into a group of enemy Autobots, destroying a target, but his health dropping below 1 bar, before he flies out of range.]_

S: Ah. Oh, sorry.

_[OS: Starscream is destroying enemy Autobots, when the downed ally icon appears off to his right.]_

C: Oh no, I'm down.

_[Skywarp: Here comes another wave!_

_OS: Starscream transforms into bot mode and begins to fall before transforming back into vehicle mode.]_

O: Oh shit! Why did I do that!?

S: Oh, hold on. Uh…

_[SS: Thundercracker flies over to Skywarp and begins to revive him. Several Autobots are hovering around above Skywarp, and Thundercracker begins to take fire.]_

S: I'm holding ‘E’ to revive!

C: Thank you. I'm very bad at staying alive in the air.

_[OS: Skywarp is revived and the whole party resumes firing on the Autobots.]_

S: So am I?

_[OS: Starscream takes heavy damage.]_

O: Oh my god!!!

_[SS: Thundercracker goes down.]_

S: Sorry, I'm out.

C: Alright, I'll come get you.

_[CS: Skywarp flies towards Thundercracker but overshoots and has to stop and turn around.]_

C: Oh no, there’s too many of them!

_[CS: Skywarp is still trying to maneuver his way over to Thundercracker, but several Autobots are firing on him at the same time.]_

C: There’s too many, I can’t revive you!

_[CS: Another downed ally icon appears to Skywarp’s left.]_

O: I’m dead too.

C: No, no, why!?

S: [snickers]

C: THERE’S TOO MANY!

_[OS: The Mission Failed screen appears.]_

O: Goodbye cruel world. [sighs]

S: Well, hopefully, it's not gonna toss us too far back from where we were?

_[OS: Owls selects, “Restart from Last Checkpoint”.]_

O: I think we spawn right before there, because I kept dying there, uh, on- when on my one player playthrough.

_[OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Find the Hidden Underground Entrance.”_

_Starscream: We’re getting close! The next entrance is just on the far side of this canyon._

_The same cinematic from before starts, with the drop ship dropping down into the canyon from above, generating the shield, attacking the party with mortar rounds, and releasing Aerialbots to attack the Seekers.]_

C: This part is hard!

O: Yeah! I know, it sucks!

C: Like, there’s no negotiating.

O: And you have to be in the air, because like, landing on the plane does not- or wha- landing on the ship doesn't make things ton easier for ya.

C: I think we're gonna have to focus on taking out the little guys.

O: Well, we need to take out the cannons [mortars] too - otherwise you'll really get fucked over.

C: Is there a finite amount of guys though?

O: I think so? But I don't remember.

_[OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator.]_

C: Alright, well I guess we'll rush the cannons then.

_[Thundercracker: The Autobot ship is generating an energy shield over the entrance!_

_Starscream: I can see that for myself, Thundercracker. Enough babbling--destroy it!_

_OS: The party moves forward and begins shooting at the mortars.]_

O: Either that, or if you guys want to focus on the little ones I’ll focus on the cannons? Either works.

_[Thundercracker: Target the mortars first!]_

_Skywarp: This thing is as crazy as I am!_

C: Alright, I'm gonna swap over to just focusing on the little guys now.

_[CS: Skywarp zips off towards the back of the ship.]_

C: There they are, they're coming out of the back of the ship.

_[Starscream: Excellent! Now, target the Aerialbots!_

_Skywarp: I’ll show them some REAL flying!]_

_Skywarp: Here comes another wave!_

_OS: Starscream continues shooting the mortars. A downed ally icon appears to his left.]_

S: Ah, well, I’m out.

_[OS: Starscream transforms into robot mode, dropping down before transforming back into vehicle mode and zipping towards Thundercracker.]_

C: Oh crap.

S: Sorry.

C: I can't find you.

S: I am towards the rear of the ship.

_[OS: Starscream overshoots Thundercracker and has to turn around, while taking heavy fire from the multiple Autobots hovering over Thundercracker.]_

O: Oh dammit!

S: You’re out too?

O: No, not yet yet.

O: Ugh, I’m try-

C: I- there- there you are.

O: Now I am.

C: Nooo!

_[CS: Skywarp is downed and the Mission Failed screen displays briefly, before loading at the checkpoint again.]_

O: Try to stay more towards the middle, because it's really, really hard when like, everybody's spread out everywhere?

_[CS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Find the Hidden Underground Entrance.”_

_Starscream: We’re getting close! The next entrance is just on the far side of this canyon.]_

C: Um, they spawn in at the rear of the ship and they're sitting ducks while they run out. So I'm still going to stay in the rear.

O: That's fine.

_[CS: The same cinematic from before starts, but is skipped. The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator.”]_

O: Yes, can we-? There we go. [laughs] I was like, do we need to watch this again? The answer is no.

C: But it’s so pretty!

_[Thundercracker: The Autobot ship is generating an energy shield over the entrance!_

_Starscream: I can see that for myself, Thundercracker. Enough babbling--destroy it!_

_Skywarp: Target the mortars first!_

_CS: The party flies in and all target the mortars, taking out three of them in rapid succession._

_Skywarp: This thing is as crazy as I am!_

_Starscream: Just blast it! It breaks, like everything else!_

_OS: Starscream and Thundercracker continue to attack the mortars. Starscream is fired on by Aerialbots and his health drops to under 1 bar before he flies out of range.]_

O: [quietly] Godammit.

_[Starscream: Excellent! Now, target the Aerialbots!_

_CS: Skywarp is at the rear of the ship shooting Aerialbots as they run out of the ship, before they’re able to transform into vehicle mode._

_Skywarp: I’ll show them some REAL flying!_

_OS: Starscream transforms and lands on the ship, taking out one of the Aerialbots with his Null Ray. He’s then fired on and transforms and flies off._

_Thundercracker: Here comes another wave!]_

O: Oh, dammit!

_[Starscream: The blast doors are open! Quickly!]_

S: Uh…

_[SS: Thundercracker hovers around the front of the dropship looking around.]_

S: So, I’m-

_[Skywarp: Watch out for those rocket snipers!_

_SS: A downed ally icon appears in the distance.]_

O: Dammit! Dammit! I’m down.

S: Oh shit.

C: Alright.

_[Starscream: Enough of this nonsense! We'll bring this annoyance down from the INSIDE. Fly in and target its power core!_

_CS: Skywarp and Starscream take out an Aerialbot and Skywarp flies over to the downed Starscream.]_

C: You can shoot while you’re down, so try and cover for me.

O: [quietly] If I can find them…

_[CS: Starscream sort of scoots away from Thundercracker and Skywarp while firing on some of the Aerialbots still on the drop ship.]_

C: Hey! No, don't move away from us!

_[OS: Skywarp revives Starscream.]_

C: There we go.

O: [screechy voice] I LIVE!

_[OS: The down ally icon appears on the left side of the screen.]_

S: I'm out. Shit.

_[CS: Skywarp turns around and flies back over to where Starscream is reviving Thundercracker._

_Starscream: None can resist us! For glory!]_

C: [laughs] For glory!

O: For getting my ass kicked.

S: [laughs]

_[CS: Skywarp flies over to the opened portion of the drop ship and continues shooting at the Autobots inside.]_

O: Okay, there we go.

S: Thank you. Oh! Apparently I was _not_ by the rear of the ship, I was by the front!

C: I think the ship just opened up.

O: Yeah.

_[SS: Thundercracker enters the ship behind Skywarp as they both transform into robot mode. Thundercracker picks up some health while Skywarp fires on Autobots.]_

C: Alright, there’s health on my right, or my left, rather.

O: There's some on each, I'm gonna take this one.

C: I have two bars so I'm probably good for now.

_[Autobot: Close the blast doors, and seal the ship! We’ll trap them inside!]_

_Skywarp: Trap us?_

_Thundercracker: Orders, Starscream?_

_Starscream: Hahahaha! Those idiots locked in here with their power core! Plant a detpack on it!_

_OS: Starscream runs around shooting at Autobots before going down.]_

O: Ugh! I'm down, help.

S: Oh shi- shoot.

_[CS: Thundercracker is off to the side reviving Starscream. Skywarp chases down Autobots with a combination of gunfire and melee attacks, before going down as well.]_

C: Ah, I'm down as well.

S: Uh, where are you? Oh.

O: ARGH!

S: How am I not-

_[SS: Thundercracker walks over to Skywarp and begins to revive him. Another downed ally icon appears on the right hand side of the screen.]_

O: I’m down again.

_[SS: Thundercracker continues to try and revive Skywarp but also goes down when an Autobot walks up and shoots him at point blank range.]_

S: Well damn it, so am I.

O: At least we start from here [after the ship has opened up].

S: Well, I mean we’re…

O: Oh fucking rockets!

S: Oh, the audio seems like it’s gone for me?

C: Oh, you lost audio?

S: I don’t know why, but I can’t hear the game anymore-

O: Did you accidentally turn it down?

S: -or you guys.

_[Autobot: Close the blast doors, and seal the ship! We’ll trap them inside!]_

C: We can’t get into the ship anymore!

S: All my stuff is...uh, muted? Why is my stuff muted?

_[The video disappears and some white text is visible on a black background.]_

**Note (from sound editor, which is also Chezni):**

Unfortunately at this point, we had a SNAFU with Specs' audio and had to restart the game.

Due to the restart, Specs' audio and footage became unusable due to a spike in her game volume that she corrects in about 16 minutes.

Don't worry! You can still see and hear her in Owls' and Chezni's footage until the correction, which will be used until then.

Sorry for the interruption!

_[OS: The game loads back at the checkpoint before the battle with the drop ship started. The screen reads, “New Objective: Find the Hidden Underground Entrance.” On the lower left the text, “Chezni has joined the game,” and “Specspectacle has joined the game,” is visible.]_

O: [singing] Dada dat dat dat dada da da.

S: If we don’t- mm.

C: Ah, hey, we’re back!

_[Starscream: We’re getting close! The next entrance is just on the far side of this canyon._

_The same cinematic from before starts, but is skipped. The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator.”]_

C: Oh no! We gotta do this again.

S: Ah, pfft.

_[Thundercracker: The Autobot ship is generating an energy shield over the entrance!_

_Starscream: I can see that for myself, Thundercracker. Enough babbling--destroy it!_

_Thundercracker: Target the mortars first!_

_OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator. The party flies forward and attacks the mortars.]_

_Skywarp: This thing is as crazy as I am!_

_Starscream: Just blast it! It breaks, like everything else!]_

S: Oh.

_[Starscream: Excellent! Now, target the Aerialbots!_

_Skywarp: I’ll show them some REAL flying!_

_CS: Skywarp continues to fly around and shoot the mortars before swapping to the Aerialbots. A downed ally icon appears on the lower left of the screen.]_

S: Oh. Sorry, I’m out guys.

C: No worries. I’m always amazed at the fact that while you’re flying, at like, light speed the enemies still hit you.

_[Skywarp: Here comes another wave!]_

S: Uh…

C: I’m sorry, I can’t, there was too much fire power.

O: Oh!

_[OS: Starscream flies over to Thundercracker but is taken out along with Skywarp and the Mission Failed screen appears.]_

O: I’m dead too.

S: So am I.

O: Oh my god, I hate this checkpoint!

_[OS: Owls selects, “Restart from Last Checkpoint”.]_

O: I hate this level, I hate this-

C: Shake off the rust.

_[The screen reads, “New Objective: Find the hidden underground entrance.”]_

O: Uh, no, there is no rust! This part just sucks, it sucked it one player!

C: Shake off the rust!

_[Starscream: We’re getting close! The next entrance is just on the far side of this canyon.]_

O: OH MY GOD, you’re a jerk.

C: The space rust. What's the super rust called?

_[OS: The same cinematic from before starts, but is skipped. The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator.”]_

O: Cosmic rust, dear?

C: Yeah, shake off the cosmic rust!

O: [screechy voice] “Only if you're Megatron!”

_[CS: The party flies forward and attacks the mortars._

_Thundercracker: The Autobot ship is generating an energy shield over the entrance!_

_Starscream: I can see that for myself, Thundercracker. Enough babbling--destroy it!_

_Skywarp: Target the mortars first!]_

C: Cosmic rust, it's coarse, and rough...

O: And gets everywhere.

C & O: [laugh]

_[Skywarp: This thing is as crazy as I am!_

_Starscream: Just blast it! It breaks, like everything else!_

_CS: Skywarp swaps over to attacking the Aerialbots.]_

O: Oh my god! Go away!

_[Starscream: Excellent! Now, target the Aerialbots!_

_Skywarp: I’ll show them some REAL flying!]_

C: Oh my gosh, I'm definitely gonna die here.

_[OS: Starscream continues to shoot at Aerialbots.]_

S: Oh, I'm out, sorry guys. I’m in the worst spot.

_[OS: Starscream transforms into bot mode, dropping down and grabbing some energon before transforming back into vehicle mode and flying over to Thundercracker… who is awkwardly hanging in the air nose first into the drop ship. The area is slanted, so it’s more difficult to maneuver around, but Starscream manages to get underneath him and revives him, while taking fire from nearby Aerialbots.]_

C: That is a pretty bad spot!

S: [laughs]

C: I don't think I can…

S: [continues laughing even harder]

C: Like, those guys are just _right_ there.

S: Oh.

O: Oh my god!

_[Thundercracker: More reinforcements?_

_OS: Starscream flies off to get out of firing range of the Aerialbots, but another downed ally icon appears behind him and he turns around midair.]_

O: I can't get everyone!

S: [laughs]

C: Well, you've got 700 seconds for me.

_[OS: Starscream flies over to Skywarp and revives him. Yet another downed ally icon appears to the left.]_

O: Oh my god, _GUYS!!_

S: [continues to laugh harder]

_[OS: Starscream zips over to Thundercracker and revives him, while already on low health and taking even more fire from Aerialbots.]_

O: I need you to _not!_ I’m gonna die!

_[Starscream: The blast doors are open! Quickly!_

_Skywarp: Watch out for those rocket snipers!]_

C: We did it! We did it!

_[Starscream: Enough of this nonsense! We'll bring this annoyance down from the INSIDE. Fly in and target its power core!]_

S: Mm-mm.

_[CS: Skywarp flies into the drop ship, transforming into robot mode and shooting at the Autobots inside.]_

C: Oh my goodness.

S: Shit, shit!

_[Autobot: Close the blast doors, and seal the ship! We’ll trap them inside!]_

O: I am inside, I cannot help.

S: Um.

_[Skywarp: Trap us?_

_Thundercracker: Orders, Starscream?_

_CS: Thundercracker returns to jet mode.]_

S: Shi- uh.

O: Where are you?

C: Where are you are you, Specs?

_[CS: Skywarp turns around and sees that the door he and Starscream had entered through is no longer open._

_Starscream: Hahahaha! Those idiots locked in here with their power core! Plant a detpack on it!]_

S: [laughs]

O: If you're outside, we can't help, we’re stuck inside!

S: I’m outside!

C: Oh my god.

O: Of course you are!

S: [laughs] I’m sorry!

O: Oh well, at least we got the stupid door open, right?

C: That’s true.

S: Uh.

C: You're good- don't worry Skywarp- er, Thundercracker, you're completely safe out there!

O & S: [laugh]

C: No harm will come to you!

S: [laughs]

_[CS: Starscream and Skywarp continue to maneuver around inside the ship taking out Autobots. Skywarp goes down, while at the same time another downed ally icon appears offscreen to his left.]_

C: Oh gosh, I’m down.

S: So am I, sorry.

O: _Oh my god._

S: [laughs]

_[CS: Skywarp takes out an Autobot while downed, and Starscream runs over and begins to revive him.]_

C: Please save your poor little jet.

S: [laughs]

_[CS: Skywarp is revived, he then transforms and follows Starscream into another section of the ship.]_

O: You're so tiny and adorable.

_[CS: Skywarp fires on yet more Autobots.]_

O: [laughs] Seriously, you’re like a little itty bitty little jet when I’m in uh, robot mode, it’s great.

S: I blew up.

_[CS: Skywarp is in a fire fight with an Autobot when the screen suddenly goes dark and the Mission Failed screen appears.]_

C: Wait, what!?!

O: Well, she was outside! She was outside and she was- and we couldn't get to her.

_[OS: Owls selects, “Restart from Last Checkpoint”.]_

S: [laughs]

 **Note:** Apparently, there was lone Decepticon still outside that killed poor Thundercracker in cold blood, unfortunately, Specs footage was still unusable at this point, hence no visual.

_[OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator.”]_

S: Sorry.

_[Starscream: The blast doors are open! Quickly!_

_Skywarp: Watch out for those rocket snipers!]_

C: But how!? What hurt you?

White text is overlaid on top of the screen: *Specs makes weird noises because her ears are starting to hurt…*

 _[Starscream: Enough of this nonsense! We'll bring this annoyance down from the INSIDE. Fly in and target its power core!]_ ]

S: Mm.

C: Alright I got-

S: I’m inside now!

C: Hooray!

_[Autobot: Close the blast doors, and seal the ship! We’ll trap them inside!_

_OS: Starscream has entered the ship and transformed, taking out an Autobot with the Null Ray. A down ally icon appears to his left.]_

S: But I’m also dead!

C: Uh, un-hooray.

_[OS: Starscream makes his way over to Thundercracker._

_Skywarp: Trap us?_

_Thundercracker: Orders, Starscream?_

_Starscream: Hahahaha! Those idiots locked in here with their power core! Plant a detpack on it!_

_CS: Skywarp walks over to the power core and plants an explosive on it.]_

S: Ah shoot. Gosh darnit, who am I supposed to- gah! I don’t like you.

_[Autobot Ship: Warning! Warning! Warning!_

_The dropship begins to come to pieces around the party._

_The screen reads, “New Objective: Escape the Autobot Dropship.]_

S: I’m down.

_[CS: Skywarp walks over to the downed Thundercracker.]_

C: I got ya.

_[Starscream: Unbelievable! These Autobots are dumber than Skywarp!]_

S: Thank you.

_[Thundercracker: Perhaps, Starscream, but have you considered an escape route for US?]_

S: Ah.

_[Starscream: Try the upper deck! Hurry!_

_OS: Thundercracker is revived, and Starscream transforms into jet mode and flies up to the second level of the drop ship.]_

S: Uh.

C: I think we need to- yeah, go up.

_[OS: The doorway in front of the party is sealed._

_Skywarp: They sealed it off!]_

S: Yeah, yeah, I kind of figured.

_[OS: The front part of the ship falls away, and the part transforms into jet mode to make their exit._

_Starscream: Now’s our chance! Fly through the hole!]_

O: [snorts]

C: No comment.

O: [laughs]

C: No comment.

_[Skywarp: Dumber than Skywarp? I’ll show YOU dumb, Starscream!_

_Starscream: You always do._

_The screen reads, “New Objective: Continue your search for the underground.”_

_OS: The party flies forward, transforming and landing on the platform the shield generator was blocking. Starscream runs forward and smashes an ammo chest before turning around and seeing some grenades in the corner.]_

O: Okay, we've got ammo, grenades…

S: Uh…

O: Where's- where's- there's a Chezni.

_[CS: Skywarp flies up and lands on the platform Starscream and Thundercracker are already on.]_

O: You're always lagging behind Skywarp.

C: You know what?!

O: [laughs]

C: You know what?!

_[CS: Skywarp starts running away from Starscream.]_

C: ...I don’t know what.

_[OS: Starscream chases after Skywarp.]_

O: What are you- what are you gonna do? You gonna run away? We are the only two that will have you, and you know it!

C: [laughs]

O: Get back here Skywarp!

_[CS: The party runs into a hallway, a shield chest is visible off to their right.]_

O: [laughs] Does anyone need heal-

S: Uh, is that heals?

O: Yes.

S: Cuz I could use-

O: Go ahead.

C: It’s a shield not heals.

O: Well, it’ll still help.

S: Thank you.

O: I also thought it fully healed you, but perhaps I’m wrong.

_[CS: A cinematic plays of the Seekers running into a room where a creepy looking Autobot is standing, before it jumps off the platform, disappearing in a flash of electricity.]_

S: Oh!

O: What is that? Oh right, I remember this.

C: That's not a real transformer.

_[Skywarp: Did you see that?_

_Thundercracker: You mean that creepy looking that that just jumped over the side?_

_Skywarp: Yah._

_Thundercracker: Nope. I didn’t see anything._

_Starscream: I should’ve left you two on the station.]_

O: Uh, I’m gonna take this unless you guys want something- want it.

_[OS: Starscream walks over to a Plasma Cannon (Charge) and swaps out his Scattershot for it.]_

O: I dunno if I’ll like it, but we’ll see.

_[Skywarp: Now this is some serious bang for our buck!]_

S: Are we jumping?

C: What is- oh, nothing.

O: Yup.

_[OS: Starscream walks over to the ledge and jumps down.]_

C: We’re jets! Jets don't jump, St- Thundercracker, they fly!

O: They fall with style! [laughs]

_[OS: Starscream walks into a dark room, and the screen shakes.]_

S: Wahh!

C: With- yeah, we don’t fall, we fly with style!

_[OS: Starscream and Thundercracker are looking around the room._

_Skywarp: I think I saw something._

_Thundercracker: You think you saw what?_

_Starscream: SILENCE! It could be an Autobot cloaker--keep your optics sharp!_

_CS: Skywarp walks over to an ammo chest before transforming and zipping over to a health chest and running into the energon inside..]_

C: There's some ammo over here if anyone needs it.

O: There's a scatter blaster over here?

S: Uh…

C: I already have a scatter blaster. It's horrible.

_[OS: Starscream and Thundercracker are attempting to target one of the cloakers as it becoming visible when charging it’s attack. Starscream tries to use the Plasma Cannon and charges it up, but the Cloaker disappears again.]_

O: Where are they?

_[OS: The Plasma Cannon goes off automatically, not hitting anything.]_

O: Ugh.

S: _Ohh~_

_[OS: A cloaker shoots Starscream from above.]_

O: What the fuck!? Right…

S: There's-

_[CS: Skywarp flies around the room in jet mode, finally seeing one of the cloakers charge up an attack and shoot.]_

C: Oh, it's invisible!

S: Yes, it's invisible, man! Thank you.

C: You got to look for the shimmers.

O: Yeah, I need- oh, where was that other gun? I need it. [snorts] This is bad.

_[CS: Skywarp continues flying around, targeting cloakers with his jet mode’s machine guns when he spots them. Starscream and Thundercracker are running around on the ground.]_

S: Um.

_[CS: Skywarp tries to shoot a cloaker but it runs away from him and disappears.]_

C: Ah man, they're fast!

O: Ugh.

_[OS: Starscream runs around the room trying to shoot things with the Scatter Blaster, with limited success.]_

S: God, it’s a fast sucker!

O: It _really_ is.

_[OS: Starscream turns into vehicle mode briefly to destroy a cloaker with his machine guns before returning to bot mode._

_Starscream: I’m ready to lead!_

_OS: A downed ally icon appears to the right.]_

S: I'm out, sorry! God, there’s so many of them!

C: Yeah, there's like, a ton all of a sudden.

_[OS: Skywarp attempts to revive Thundercracker but is unable because Thundercracker is in vehicle mode and awkwardly angled away from a platform behind him. Starscream transforms into jet mode and is able to begin reviving Thundercracker.]_

O: I got her.

S: Thank you.

_[OS: Skywarp runs out from underneath Thundercracker. The party continues fighting the cloaked Autobots.]_

C: I can't move. I was like, stuck underneath her.

S: Mm.

C: When they- when they attack they charge up a ball of light.

O: Yeah, that's how I've been aiming at ‘em.

_[OS: The party takes out the last of the cloakers._

_Starscream: Hahaha! Feel the power of my wrath! Now, get the power back online so we can move on!]_

S: Uh.

O: I didn't realize I could swap weapons [in vehicle mode]. I mean, I kind of figured it out earlier but thank god, I hate machine guns.

_[Starscream: Get moving, Decepticons. We must be getting close.]_

S: Is there like-

O: Any health or ammo left in here?

C: I didn’t see any.

_[CS: Skywarp flies around the room a bit before zipping through a door into the next room over. The room is narrow with two openings to a larger area that is swarming with Autobots on a platform in the middle of the area. There is a gun on the ground in front of the party._

_Thundercracker: There it is. The entrance to the underground._

_Starscream: Another shield generator?! These Autobots are getting on my nerves.]_

O: I don’t need- there we go.

S: There’s a Null Ray scope?

O: Oh, I already have one, I can’t pick up another one.

_[The screen reads, “New Objective: Deactivate the forcefield.”_

_Starscream: Bring down those shields!]_

C: Uh, I’ll take the Null Ray scope.

_[CS: Skywarp walks over and picked up the Null Ray, dropping his Scatter Blaster.]_

O: It a sniper rifle.

S: Oh. Um. Well, nuts, I’m out!

_[OS: Starscream is sniping Autobots when the downed ally icon appears to his right.]_

S: Sorry, I’m down.

C: It’s fine, uh, I’ll cover.

_[OS: Starscream walks over to Thundercracker and revives him. Lines coming from the Autobots across the gap show that a large number of them are equipped with sniper rifles, explaining why Thundercracker died so quickly.]_

S: Okay, mmm.

_[OS: Starscream gets back behind cover and Thundercracker transforms and flies out of the small room the party is in, before being taken out almost immediately.]_

S: Mmm, I'm out again.

_[OS: Starscream transforms and flies over to Thundercracker to try and revive him.]_

O: You need to not fly in here! [laughs]

_[OS: Starscream also begins taking heavy fire from the enemy snipers.]_

O: Dammit.

C: Shoot.

_[OS: Starscream goes down and Thundercracker explodes.]_

S: Sorry.

C: No, it's a fine.

_[CS: The mission failed screen comes up briefly before restarting at the checkpoint in the room with the Null Ray. The screen reads, “New Objective: Deactivate the forcefield,” upon loading._

_Thundercracker: There it is. The entrance to the underground._

C: Skywarp suddenly became Italian, “It's a fine!”

_[Starscream: Another shield generator?! These Autobots are getting on my nerves. Bring down those shields!_

_CS: Skywarp transforms and enters the large room, flying around the edges, but inevitably takes heavy fire from the enemy snipers.]_

S: Umm…oh, jesus- ugh.

_[CS: Skywarp is down to 1 bar of health. The down ally icon appears in the distance.]_

S: Shit. Well, I'm dead again.

_[CS: Skywarp lands on a platform and transforms, heading towards a health chest.]_

O: Chezni, do you have her?

C: Ah- I’m- um, no. [laughs]

_[CS: Skywarp turns away from the chest and transforms, flying over to where Thundercracker is floating.]_

O: Uhh…

S: Well, I’m-

C: I’ve got her now, but I’m probably gonna die.

_[CS: Skywarp begins reviving Thundercracker but he quickly goes down too.]_

C: Yeah, I died trying to do it.

_[CS: Thundercracker explodes, and the “Mission Failed,” screen appears.]_

S: Sorry.

C: Ah, that's alright. So that part is probably better if we all stay in that enclosed area.

S: Okay, and then just snipe?

O: _YES._

C: Ah, more or less.

_[OS: Owls selects, “Restart From Last Checkpoint.” The screen reads, “New Objective: Deactivate the forcefield,” upon loading._

_Thundercracker: There it is. The entrance to the underground._

_Starscream: Another shield generator?! These Autobots are getting on my nerves. Bring down those shields!_

_OS: Starscream snipes 4 Autobots before ducking behind cover to reload._

_Starscream: Ahahaha! For glory!_

_CS: Skywarp snipes 3 Autobots before looking around at the lessened quantity of Autobots...]_

C: I think we're good. Maybe.

_[CS: ...And is then shot at by yet more Autobots.]_

C: Ah, I spoke too soon!

_[OS: Starscream takes out two targets but the next two are shot by Skywarp. He then tries to shoot another Autobot higher up on the middle area but misses, needing to reload again.]_

O: [quietly] Come on.

S: _Ohh~_

C: Is that all of them?

O: Almost.

_[OS: Starscream takes out the Autobot he previously missed.]_

S: Mmm.

_[CS: Skywarp transforms and flys over to the middle platform, taking out another Autobot.]_

O: At the very least I think it’s most of them.

_[OS: Starscream transforms in midair, and uses his energon mace on the enemy below as he’s falling, but doesn’t kill the Autobot. The Autobot backs up and begins firing on Starscream, dropping him to 1 bar of health]_

O: Dammit!

_[OS: Starscream attempts to shoot the Autobot with his Null Ray but misses. He then transforms into vehicle mode and takes him out with his machine gun.]_

C: Ah, I’m down.

_[OS: Starscream flies over to Skywarp, transforming and beginning to revive him.]_

O: I am NOT gonna live through this.

S: Mmm.

_[CS: Skywarp is revived and he hops back up.]_

C: Thank you.

O: There you go.

S: Mmm.

O: Uhh, you okay?

 **Note:** Keep in mind that Specs can barely hear us, or quite frankly herself, because her game volume is so loud at this point.

C: [Nasally voice] Starscream you're my hero.

_[CS: Skywarp dodges fire from an enemy Autobot before running over and taking him out with his physical attack.]_

O: [laughs] Now THAT seems like how they- the ways they would tease each other.

_[CS: Skywarp uses one of his special moves that allows him to begin spinning the upper potion of his body around in a circle while holding his energon mace and takes out an Autobot.]_

S: Mmm.

O: Specs, what’s wrong?

_[OS: Starscream takes out an Autobot with the Null Ray, and when he exits the scope mode, Thundercracker is right next to him in vehicle mode.]_

C: Yeah, I- where is Specs, actually?

O: She’s with me.

S: I'm right here.

C: Ohh, gosh darn-!

_[OS: Starscream continues to snipe Autobots. Skywarp goes down in front of him.]_

C: I’m down again.

S: Mmm.

_[OS: Starscream runs over and revives Skywarp.]_

S: Ahh.

_[Skywarp: The battery casing is opening.]_

S: Ahh, okay...

C: This is quite chaotic!

O: A little bit, yeah.

S: No duh!

_[OS: Starscream is running low on Null Ray ammo, and not seeing any immediate Autobots runs out from underneath the platform he was under, getting fired on from above immediately.]_

O: Oh come on!

C: Come on Decepticons!

_[Thundercracker: The shield batteries are exposed. If we destroy them, we can lower the shield._

_OS: Starscream is still under the platform, having swapped over to his Scatter Blaster and trying to take out some nearby Aerialbots (it’s not working terribly well).]_

C: Are you... mice bots or are you car bots?!

_[OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the armor plating.”]_

S: We’re fighting planes!

O: Uh, we’re jets? [laughs] We’re fighting jets!

S: I'm out of- shit.

_[CS: The party continues fighting the Aerialbots.]_

S: Mmm. Mm. Mmm.

O: [laughs] I’m sorry! You're making very, very, many noises though.

_[CS: The party takes out the remaining Autobots. Skywarp flies over to the platform the other two Seekers are on/nearby and heals himself with a nearby health chest._

_Starscream: Look out for those sentries, you bumbling idiots!]_

C: These are- these are Specs’ concentrating noises.

S: [laughs]

O: [laughs] Is that what we’re calling it?

C: These are Specs’ magic words, do not steal them!

O: [laughs]

_[OS: The party is able to destroy the plating on the giant door that was blocked by the shield generator.]_

S: I can’t hear you guys very well!

O: [laughs] These are Specs’ magic words, do not steal them!

_[OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Re-route power to the energon bridge.”_

_The large round door in front of the party opens up and bridge forms from the main platform over to the door. Starscream flies through the door, and the party enters was looks like a dilapidated tunnel with a bunch of piping and equipment scattered throughout._

_Starscream: Move, Decepticons. Into the tunnels! We have a Bridge to activate!]_

C: Well, whatever they were, seemed like it worked.

S: What? I can barely hear you guys.

C: Really?

_Skywarp: This place gives me the creeps._

_Starscream: These tunnels were decommissioned long ago. We’ll have to activate the power terminals to get the station back online.]_

S: Yeah, the game is overpowering everything for me.

C: Did you- is it-

S: OHH! Because it [the volume] went up to like 50 and I didn't realize it.

C & O: [laugh]

O: All we-

C: That would explain SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!

S: [laughs]

O: We just kept hearing you make noises and I kept asking you what was wrong, and I wasn’t getting a response, and I was like, “Okay…”

A: [laugh]

C: Like, we kept- we kept commenting, we were being like, “Oh hey Specs, how are you?” Like- like no response.

S: [laughs]

_[SS: The party moves forward, further into the tunnels._

_Skywarp: Incoming! Take cover! Wait?! That’s not Autobot weaponry?!_

_Thundercracker: Interesting. I’ve never seen these life forms before.]_

C: That’s hilarious.

S: [laughs harder]

_[Starscream: Who cares--if they get in my way, BLAST THEM!]_

S: But I got things done! It got- I was helpful, I was useful.

O: Yes! Yes!

C: True, you died fewer times than I did.

O: Chezni died twice.

C: That’s pretty awesome.

O: If anyone should be ashamed of themselves it should be Chezni.

C: Yup.

O: I don't know what blowing these up does?

_[CS: Starscream shoots an object that explodes near Skywarp.]_

S: _Oh~_

C: You're a Decepticon, you love blowing things up, right?

_[CS: Some strange mechanical tentacle things pop out of the walls and fly towards the party, but Skywarp destroys them.]_

O: [screechy voice] Excuse me, I'm Starscream, I don't waste my ammo on something so _trivial._

C: You have people do that for you.

O: [screechy voice] Uh, yes, those people are **you.**

C: [laughs]

S: Like, I think my performance in the last round is not uh, like, par for the course, probably.

_[Starscream: There, just as I told you! The Energon Bridge Terminal. Find a way inside and activate it!_

_OS: The party continues onwards, before arriving in a large room with a large oblong structure in the center.]_

S: Egh!

_[Skywarp: I thought this place was deserted!_

_OS: Thundercracker and Starscream fly to the right side of the structure and begin shooting at the nearby sentries. Multiple probes are also deployed and attack them both.]_

C: Well, you thought wrong!

_[Starscream: We must’ve tripped the station’s automated defenses. Open fire!]_

S: Uh…

O: Uh, help!

_[OS: Thundercracker goes down.]_

S: Nuts, sorry, I’m dead.

_[OS: Starscream goes down.]_

O: Ah, crap! We're both dead, honey.

C: Yes, so am I.

_[OS: The, “Mission Failed,” screen appears.]_

O: We're all dead, honey. [laughs]

_[OS: Owls selects, “Restart From Last Checkpoint.”]_

C: I’m not sure what killed us?

O: Uh, I think it was things that came out of the middle there. That better be a damn checkpoint.

_[OS: The party starts in the same room they previously died in. The screen reads, “New Objective: Re-route power to the energon bridge.”_

_Starscream: There, just as I told you! The Energon Bridge Terminal. Find a way inside and activate it!]_

S: Sentries.

_[OS: The party moves towards the door in the right side of the oblong object, shooting at the probes and sentries._

_Skywarp: I thought this place was deserted!_

_Starscream: We must’ve tripped the station’s automated defenses. Open fire!]_

S: It’s sentry time!

_[SS: Thundercracker destroys several sentry guns.]_

S: Oh, there’s... thingies.

_[Skywarp: More cloakers? These guys creep me out!]_

O: What the fuck is shooting at me?

_[Thundercracker: What’s the matter, Skywarp--afraid?]_

C: They're- they're like inside this big room.

_[Skywarp: At least I’m not ugly._

_Thundercracker: Ugly? You and I look the SAME!]_

S: I’m dead.

_[SS: Thundercracker is killed by the last remaining sentry gun.]_

O: I’ll try to get over there, I need to kill that thing first though.

S: Mmm.

_[CS: Skywarp is inside the oblong structure exploring it, swapping back and forth between his robot and his vehicle modes._

_Skywarp: Okay, let’s take off!]_

S: Ah.

_[CS: Skywarp is still flying around by himself in the structure. He destroys two probes that move in front of him.]_

S: Thank you- WAAAA! Screw you!

O: Crap!

S: Oh shoot, are you behind me?

O: Yes I'm trying to- there, I killed it.

S: Oh, thank you.

C: Did anyone’s screen go dark, or is that just me?

_[OS: Thundercracker and Starscream have finally entered the structure as well. Overall, it is darker inside but everything’s still visible.]_

O: It is a lot _darker_ , yes.

C: Okay.

S: Yeah, it is.

C: I was a little confused.

O: Oh my god, I would kill for some damn health.

S: Same.

C: Last-

S: I mean, there's guns.

C: There's a plasma cannon.

_[OS: The group walks over to some guns on the floor. Starscream is at one bar of health._

_Starscream: I still require medical attention!]_

O: I did not like the plasma cannon at all.

C: Specs, you want it?

_[SS: Starscream and Skywarp are running around in their bot modes, but Thundercracker is still in his vehicle mode. He approaches the Plasma Cannon, but the prompt to pick it up doesn’t appear.]_

S: Uh, mm, I can’t interact with it.

C: [laughs] You’re just scooting around as a jet.

S: [laughs]

C: You need to stop being a jet. Stop being a jet, right now! [laughs]

S: I’m out of ammo. Alright, okay, fine, I can pick that up.

_[SS: Thundercracker transforms into bot mode and picks up the Plasma Cannon.]_

C: Alright.

O: Okay…

S: Where are we supposed to go?

O: We should go down here, maybe?

_[OS: Starscream is walking around when an energy blast charges in midair and is shot at him.]_

O: Oh cripes, there are more of those invisible guys.

S: Oh.

C: Ah, so that’s what it is.

S: Where are you guys?

O: Ugh!

C: I’m on the bottom floor.

O: I am too, and I do not have a lot of health... so, help?

S: Ah.

C: I’m trying!

_[CS: Skywarp chases around a clocker trying to shoot it before finally taking it out with a physical attack.]_

S: I didn't realize there was a bottom floor, uh.

_[CS: The party is near each other, all shooting at cloakers.]_

S: Sorry, I am utilizing the spray-and-pray method of..

C: Hey, with infinite bullets you’re totally allowed to do that.

O: You can pray and spray as much as you want.

_[SS: Thundercracker is assisting the rest of the party while in vehicle mode and spamming his machine guns. He shoots something in the distance, causing an explosion.]_

O: That was an explosion.

C: I think we got ‘em.

_[SS: Starscream walks over to a console and activates it. The lights come on and prompt to look at the ‘Ambush’ appears on the screen.]_

O: We got ambushed?

_[Thundercracker: Detecting Autobot energy signatures!]_

O: [groans]

C: Nice to have lights again.

_[Starscream: More fools rush to their death. Destroy them!]_

O: I can only destroy them when I have ammo, dipshit!

C: The melee button is a wonderful thing.

_[Megatron (COM): Starscream, report!_

_Starscream: Megatron! We are encountering significant Autobot resistance but…_

_SS: Thundercracker shoots a barrel of explosives and takes damage, he then shoots the other closer barrel and dies.]_

S: I'm down.

_[Megatron (COM): I will not suffer excuses. Do not fail me!]_

S: I am also not entirely sure how, unless I was too close to the explosion?

_[CS: Skywarp engages some Autobots in combat but takes damage and goes down.]_

C: I am also down.

_[CS: Skywarp begins to slowly move through a nearby doorway. In the distance Starscream can be seen reviving Thundercracker._

_Skywarp: You really told him, Starscream._

_Starscream: Silence! Soon the Decepticons will be mine to control and Megatron will serve me!]_

C: I'm trying to scoot to safety.

_[OS: Starscream transforms and flies over to Skywarp. He begins to revive him.]_

O: [laughs] Scoot to safety?

C: [laughs]

O: You're so cute, and yet you keep dying.

S: We all need the heals.

C: I don't know who's killing- ow! What the-?

_[SS: Thundercracker continues to shoot at Autobots while in vehicle mode. A downed ally icon appears to Thundercracker’s right.]_

O: Just gonna start singing, ‘You're Welcome,’ from Moana, in- here in a minute I swear to god.

_[SS: The downed ally icon disappears.]_

C: I don't remember the lyrics.

O: [singing] You’re welcome! [laughs]

C: Yeah, that’s the only part I can remember.

C: Oh by the way I’m down again, no wait…

O: I remember it being the Rock and being awesome.

_[CS: The party is running/flying around continuing to take out Autobots.]_

C: I’m not down, I thought I was.

S: No you’re not.

O: [laughs] “No you’re not.”

S: [laughs]

C: You almost sounded like- angry like, how dare you tell me you were dead!?!

S: [laughs]

_[CS: Skywarp uses his spinning ability in and empty room, steadily heading towards where Starscream and Thundercracker are.]_

O: Thundercracker got hopeful, you can’t do that to him!

S: [continues laughing]

C: Oh, wait, I can turn invisible, right?

_[CS: Skywarp uses his other ability and turns invisible.]_

O: Yeah.

S: Yes?

C: Oh my goodness! I should have been using this.

S: Well, yeah.

_[OS: The party has moved up to the upper floor and are fighting more Autobots.]_

S: [sighs]

O: Are you gonna-

_[Skywarp: Watch where you point that thing!]_

O: [snorts]

_[SS: Thundercracker and Skywarp take out the last Autobot, and the objective icon appears above a nearby console._

S: Okay, we gotta do a thing with this, so…

_[SS: Starscream walks over to the panel, activating it. A shield blocking a large tunnel in front of the party drops. The party runs/flies on ahead._

_Starscream: My wounds remain unrepaired!]_

O: Seriously, is there health anywhere? Because I think we _all_ need health.

C: I haven’t seen any.

S: Yeah.

_[Thundercracker: The station is only showing power levels at 50%. There must be another terminal deeper underground._

_OS: The tunnel is full of robotic arms and big lasers that appears to be running automatically.]_

S: Ack!

O: Oh, christ…

S: Um.

_[CS: Skywarp pulls ahead of Starscream, and another tentacled thing flies into the tunnel before being taken out by Skywarp and Starscream.]_

C: Oh, there's more sentries.

_[Thundercracker: I’m reading Autobot energy signatures up ahead.]_

S: Yes, you guys are rather in front of me.

_[CS: Thundercracker comes to a bend in the tunnel, where he finds a lone Autobot standing on a raised platform.]_

C: Ah, there’s missiles!

_[CS: Skywarp takes out the Autobot._

_Skywarp: I do enjoy sniping!_

_Starscream: Afraid to take them head on, Skywarp?]_

S: Uh, I don't know where you guys are. I think I’m lost.

C: It’s- it’s a-

_[SS: Thundercracker flies down the tunnel arriving at the end and turning to his left, when he sees Starscream and Skywarp shooting at Autobots.]_

S: Oh.

_[SS: Skywarp turns around.]_

C: You’re right behind us.

S: Okay.

_[Skywarp: I’m the fastest thing on two wings!_

_SS: Thundercracker takes heavy damage from the enemy snipers.]_

S: Aw, nuts.

_[OS: Starscream is standing on a platform shooting at the Autobots on the far side of the room with a Thermal Rocket Launcher.]_

O: Somebody said I needed a rocket launcher, and I got one.

S: Oh!

_[OS: Starscream transforms and flies over to another platform inside the large room where the Autobots have been attacking them from. Thundercracker hovers over an energon cube.]_

O: You should grab that.

_[OS: Thundercracker grabs the health and flies off while Starscream ducks behind cover to avoid enemy fire.]_

S: Thank you, health is helpful.

_[Starscream: The destruction can begin!]_

S: Oh.

_[CS: An invisible Skywarp comes up behind an Autobot hiding behind a shield and hits him multiple times with his physical move, taking him down.]_

S: Ahhhh! I don’t like this!

C: [laughs]

S: [laughs] But when do I like-

_[SS: Thundercracker flies forward towards the remaining Autobots on the far side of the room, but is downed at a nearby Autobot.]_

C: You sounded like Monsters Inc.

S: [laughs]

C: [singing] Take that thing back where it came from-

C & O: [singing] Or so help me!

C: [singing] So help me!

S: S- s- sorry-

O: AMMO! Sweet fucking god, ammo!

S: Sor- sorry, I’m dead.

C: I'm gonna try to get to you, I don't know if I can with all that firing going on.

_[OS: Starscream takes out two of the nearby Aerialbots in rapid succession with his Null Ray.]_

C: I could turn invisible and resurrect you, and they don't shoot me!

_[OS: The downed ally icon disappears and Thundercracker and Skywarp fly on ahead, Starscream transforming into jet mode to follow them.]_

S: Nice! That is-

O: Well, I did kill them too, but sure.

C: No, but I mean they don't shoot _at_ me while I'm going in for the rescue.

S: Well, yeah.

C: Sorry, this is rev- this is a revelation for me!

O: There’s ammo back there, by the way, if anybody needed it.

_[OS: Thundercracker flies over to the platform indicated by Starscream and retrieves ammo.]_

C: I don’t need it.

O: It’s over here.

C: I've been punching things to death.

S: [laughs]

O: Good to know.

C: It's an effective-

_[OS: Starscream flies straight ahead through a waterfall, arriving in a small cubby with an Autobot symbol flanked by two shield chests.]_

C: Oh! There's an Autobot symbol and two shields back here!

_[OS: Starscream runs forward, using a physical attack on the Autobot symbol before taking one of the shields for himself.]_

O: I’ll take that, and THAT!

C: There _was_ an Autobot symbol, and there was two shields!

S: [laughs]

C: Now there’s one shield.

O: But- but ah, Specs, you can have the other shield.

C: Yeah.

S: Okay, I’m just not entirely sure where you guys are?

_[SS: Thundercracker is slowly flying towards a door the objective icon is indicating.]_

O: I have my sniper rifle-!

C: Behind the-

O: Behind the waterfall.

S: Um.

O: I have my sniper rifle back, I’m so happy!

_[SS: Thundercracker lands in front the door where a console is sitting.]_

S: Oh, I found a thing to interact with, do you want me to interact with it?

C: Wait- wait- wait- wait, if you're not gonna take the shield I will. Alright, interact-

S: Well-

C: Interact away!

_[SS: Thundercracker looks to his left, and runs over and picks up some nearby health.]_

S: Well, actually I'm gonna- there's health, do you guys need health?

C: No, cuz I got a shield.

_[Thundercracker: That’s much better.]_

S: Okay, there’s also ammo, and then interaction time. I think I'm opening a door.

_[SS: Thundercracker runs back to the console activating it. The door opens on another large room, where an Autobot is standing directly in front of Thundercracker with his back to him.]_

S: Oh shit.

_[Autobot: Alert! Alert!]_

S: _Ohhh!_

_[CS: Skywarp turns invisible and him and Thundercracker rush into the room and begin engaging with Autobots.]_

O: Shit, where- what happened?

S: It opened-

O: I like, teleported or something.

S: Sorry.

C: Yeah, you were too far behind.

_[CS: Skywarp walks up behind an Autobot while invisible and takes him down with his Energon mace.]_

S: Alright, shoot, what is… there- there is a point here somewhere, but I'm not sure what it is?

C: It is to murder all of the Autobots scum.

_[OS: While Thundercracker and Skywarp continue to run around the room, Starscream stays behind cover, sniping various Autobots, including the ones at the two turrets.]_

C: Look what you've done to me, Specs and Owls.

S: [laughs]

O: What?

C: Turned me into a Decepticon!

_[OS: Starscream takes several shoots at an Autobot chasing Thundercracker but misses.]_

O: Yeah, you're playing with me. I don't know what you expected here, sweetie.

_[SS: Thundercracker continues to fight with the Autobot chasing him, dropping below one bar health. Starscream runs over and shoots him before running back to cover.]_

S: Oh sorry, I think I am... oh no, I'm not dead. I am just... damaged? _Ohh~_

_[SS: Thundercracker sees one of the explosive items and walks backwards trying to shoot it, but doesn’t realize he’s using one of the healing guns so it does nothing.]_

C: You know, the phrase, “What's your damage?” takes on a whole new meaning-

_[SS: A downed ally icon appears, and Starscream flies through the nearby door in jet mode.]_

C: Oh, I'm down.

S: I don’t know what this thing does…?

C: Uh, game’s gonna get it ended-

O: Um, where are you?

C: I went into some weird room, and the door closed behind me.

_[CS: Skywarp is down, and the timer continues to tick down...]_

S: [laughs]

_[OS: The Mission Failed screen appears.]_

O: [groans]

S: Well, I’m dead. Chezni, was dead-

O: No, that was Chezni, that was all Chezni’s fault.

_[OS: Owls selects, “Restart from Last Checkpoint.”]_

C: Yeah.

O: I was still alive!

_[OS: The party restarts right outside the closed door Thundercracker had previously opened, the screen reads, “New Objective: Re-route power to the energon bridge.” Starscream walks forward and activates the console, opening the door.]_

C: I didn’t know the door was gonna close behind me!

 **Note:** There was no door, he just got lost lol ~O

C: I was just flying around minding my own business.

_[Autobot: Watch out! Decepticons!_

_OS: Starscream walks over to his right and picks up some ammo. A Neutron Assault Rifle is right next to it.]_

O: Oh guns! Hello ammo.

C: There's some health here.

_[OS: Starscream runs back over to the door and takes cover, aiming at the Autobots inside the room.]_

O: I'm actually good.

_[SS: Thundercracker runs forward trying to attack an Autobot. The Autobot is destroyed by Starscream but Thundercracker hits an explosive barrel with his physical attack and goes down.]_

O: Headshot, motherfucker, headshot.

S: I'm dead.

C: There's a turret up here!

_[OS: Starscream takes out two Autobots near the fallen Thundercracker, then transforms and flies over, transforming back to revive him.]_

S: _Ohh~_

_[OS: Thundercracker is revived.]_

S: Thank you.

O: You're welcome!

_[OS: Starscream transforms back into vehicle mode and flies back to the boxes he’s been taking cover behind.]_

S: _Oh~_

C: I'm definitely taking this turret with me.

_[CS: Skywarp rips off a turret, jumps down from the platform he’s on and immediately shoots the two Autobots he’s landed in front of.]_

S: _Oh~_

_[SS: Thundercracker is in jet mode, shooting at some Autobots with sheilds at close range, but is shot and goes down.]_

S: Oh. I'm dead. I found... a _thing,_ that I guess is a- one of the things we're supposed to interact with but I'm also dead, and yeah, Autobots.

O: If I can find you.

_[SS: Thundercracker blows up.]_

S: Nope, I blew up. That was me.

_[OS: The Mission Failed screen appears and Owls selects, “Restart from Last Checkpoint.”]_

O: [sighs] Everybody just wants to blow up today and obviously I'm not cool because I don't understand why people find it fun.

_[OS: The party spawns back in the same room as before. The screen reads, “New Objective: Re-route power to the energon bridge.” Starscream walks over to the console and opens the door.]_

S: I did not want to blow up!

_[Autobot: Alert! Alert!_

_CS/OS/SS: The party runs in and begins to fight with the various Autobots. Starscream remains behind cover sniping, while Skywarp and Thundercracker get more up close and personal with the enemy.]_

S: Oh, it's a plasma cannon. Oh, I'm out.

_[CS: Skywarp is fighting with two Autobots with shields. A downed ally icon appears to his right, before Skywarp goes down as well. Skywarp begins to slowly float towards an opening to get back into the main room where the other Seekers are.]_

C: Shoot, so am I.

_[OS: Starscream is in the middle reviving Thundercracker.]_

O: You two are killing me.

S: Sorry!

_[OS: Starscream transforms and flies up to Skywarp to begin reviving him.]_

S: Ah, nuts to you Autobot.

C: I'm trying to fly down.

_[OS: Starscream’s thinking “Help me, don’t help me!” as Skywarp flies past him while he’s trying to revive him. But Skywarp is successfully revived.]_

O: You’re lucky I still have a shield left.

C: [laughs]

O: Are you alive?

C: Yep.

_[CS: Skywarp continues to fight Autobots.]_

O: Okay! Everybody's still alive!

_[SS: Thundercracker is fighting two shield Autobots and goes down.]_

S: Sorry, I'm dead.

C & S: [laugh]

O: You’ve gotta be kidding me!

_[CS: The Mission Failed screen appears and Owls selects, “Restart from Last Checkpoint.”]_

C: Ah, so… I need to stop dying

O: I'm doing nothing wrong, got it?

_[CS: The party starts at the checkpoint.]_

C: [laughs]

O: I'm doing nothing wrong, that's what I thought! Also, I'm taking this fucking ammo, okay?

_[CS: Starscream runs past Skywarp and picks up some ammo.]_

C: Okay!

_[CS: Starscream opens the door._

_Autobot: Alert! Alert!]_

O: [laughs] We're just gonna call this in the chapter were Specs did nothing wrong. Not a single thing! [Nothing like saying the wrong name for MYSELF, I meant Owls here ~O]

_[CS: Skywarp immediately shoots the Autobot on the other side of the door before he can even turn around.]_

C & S: [laugh]

_[OS: Starscream shoots at an Autobot at one of the turrets, missing the first shot but getting him on the second.]_

O: Oh my god, I'm hitting you, fucker!

_[OS: Starscream continues to shoot at Autobots with his Null Ray from behind cover.]_

S: Oh.

_[CS: Skywarp rips off one of the turrets._

_Skywarp: If Skywarp wants it, Skywarp takes it!_

_CS: He destroys multiple Autobots using the turret.]_

C: Oh my goodness, are we alive?

_[OS: Starscream continues to shoot at Autobots, heading into some of the narrower hallways connected to the main room they’ve been fighting in, following Thundercracker.]_

S: Yes... somewhat, sort of.

O: Do you need that health?

_[SS: Thundercracker walks past an energon cube.]_

S: I've got three bars.

O: Take it because I still have a shield.

S: Um.

_[CS: Skywarp is fighting several Autobots with shields, taking damage from various grenades that are being lobbed around the room. He runs over to take out one of the Autobots with his physical attack, but goes down after killing them.]_

C: Oh, ah, man I fell. I'm on the left top room.

_[SS: Starscream runs past Thundercracker and over to Skywarp and revives him. Thundercracker walks over to a console.]_

S: Oh. It looks like, uh, do you want me to interact with this thing?

O: Uh, just wanted to make sure there wasn't anything in here, then yes.

C: I want this turret first.

O: Okay, let him take the turret. Skywarp wants a souvenir turret!

_[SS: Skywarp runs over to a turret and rips it off, while the other two Seekers stay near the console.]_

S: [laughs]

O: That’s what I’m calling it, okay.

C: All right, this is my new toy.

O: Okay, now that everybody's happy-

_[CS: Thundercracker activates the console, opening the door right in front of them. Skywarp runs over and the party begins to shoot at the Autobots on the other side of the door. Thundercracker is using a gun that shoots blue energy out of it, and it doesn’t seem to be affecting the enemies.]_

S: Ahh! Hi, Autobots!

C: [laughs] I don’t know why, but the way you said that was funny.

_[Starscream: Nothing will stop me! Blast those locks!_

_OS: The party continues shooting Autobots, as well as some locks on a door to the left.]_

O: Did you pick up a healing gun!?!

C: What?

S: Me? No?

O: I saw it healing things! I don’t know where it was coming from, maybe it was an Autobot…

S: Uh, it's some sort of plasma thing?

O: Huh.

_[SS: Thundercracker walks up to a closed door, it starts to open and he backs up.]_

S: Uhhh!

_[SS: The door opens, revealing no Autobots inside.]_

S: _Ohh!~_

O: Health, thank you.

_[SS: Thundercracker shoots the blue ray again and Skywarp walks up beside him..]_

C: Actually, yeah, Specs has some kind of weird... I don't know what it is?

S: I don’t know, it’s a plasma gun, I don’t know.

O: Can you show-

_[SS: Thundercracker swaps his gun from an Energon Repair Ray to a Plasma Cannon.]_

S: Well, that’s a plasma-

O: Yeah, that one.

_[SS: Thundercracker swaps back to the Energon Repair Ray, and backs away from Starscream and Skywarp.]_

S: Oh, I've got an Energon Repair Ray, oh.

O: Yeah! You’ve got a healing gun.

S: Okay, you’re- Owls you’re fully healed. Lemme-

_[SS: Starscream backs away from where Skywarp is standing.]_

O: I’m fully healed.

S: When the hell did I get that?

O: I don't know.

_[SS: Thundercracker heals Skywarp not quite to full health before swapping to his Plasma Cannon, which has no ammo left._

_Skywarp: Now we’re talking!]_

S: Sorry, but I'm all out of ammo, so I need to be a plane.

_[SS: Thundercracker transforms into vehicle mode.]_

C: [laughs]

_[Starscream: All right… this station seems to funnel power directly to the Energon Bridge._

_Thundercracker: Those are the Energon Bridge’s power control panels._

_SS: The door closes in front of Thundercracker, locking him out of the room Starscream and Skywarp have walked into.]_

S: Oh, um, I'm sorry, I'm on the wrong side of the door.

C: It’ll probably-

O: Hopefully, you’ll teleport?

C: -yeah.

_[OS: An in-game cinematic starts, with the three Seekers walking around a large room full of various boxes, equipment, and tubes. A door opens in front of Starscream, revealing a console, in front of some pod-like machine things behind glass._

_Skywarp: Wow, Starscream--that WAS impressive._

_Starscream: Silence, fool! We need to supply these side terminals with their energon power cells.]_

S: Oh yeah, good.

_[OS: Starscream activates the console, but nothing moves. Two red targets appear on either side of the glass panel._

_Thundercracker: Looks like the Autobots have locked these power cells down._

_Starscream: Quickly--destroy the locks!]_

S: Uh..

C: Destroy the locks? Alright.

_[CS: The party shoots at the locks, destroying them.]_

C: Welp, we destroyed the locks! Now what, fearless leader?

O: [screechy voice] Oh, don't ‘fearless leader’ me!

_[CS: An in-game cinematic starts, and the three pod things behind glass move downwards, under the floor before getting destroyed._

_Skywarp: What happened now!_

_Starscream: The Autobots have booby trapped this room. Fools!_

_Skywarp: Wait--are you calling US fools, or the Autobots fools?]_

O: [laughs]

_[Skywarp: Because--I’m not getting the sense that you respect me!]_

C & O: [laugh]

_[Starscream: Silence! Fool!_

_Skywarp: That’s EXACTLY what I’m talking about!]_

O: [snorts and then laughs] I mean...

C: “Starscream! I’m getting the distinct impression you don't respect me!”

_[Starscream: This is almost too easy. Quickly, find the other power terminals._

_SS: Thundercracker flies around the outskirts of the room, but doesn’t see anything unusual.]_

S: [laughs] Okay-

O: [screechy voice] Respect? What is that? Some sort of Earth TERM?

C: ...Yes.

S: Umm, I'm not entirely sure what I should be doing?

C: Nah, I’m pretty lost too.

O: Uh, there's probably a power cell that we need to destroy- er, I destroyed one of them.

_[Skywarp: Now we’re talkin’!]_

O: Maybe? ...Maybe not. Maybe they just want to fuck with us.

_[OS: Starscream is flying around near the floor, attempting to follow a glowing red conduit.]_

O: Is that-

C: Oh, there's- no, we’ve got to follow the conduit.

S: Oh, the-

C: So follow the red glowy thing that's running along the floor.

S: Okay.

C: And then it goes up?

O: Cuz like, I killed one of them…

_[CS: Skywarp continues to fly around the room.]_

O: Hmm, no.

_[CS: Skywarp follows a conduit that loops behind some of the boxes and other piping and finds one of the power cells.]_

C: Oh, it's up here, hang on.

_[CS: Skywarp destroys the power cell._

_Starscream: Excellent, now keep looking--there should be just one more._

_SS: Thundercracker shoots the last power cell._

_Thundercracker: Energy barriers are 100% offline._

_Starscream: Perfect! Now--get these power cells into position!]_

C: Wait a minute! Can something _not_ be a hundred percent offline? I mean, it’s- it's either on or off, you can't be in the middle.

O: [screechy voice] Shut up Skywarp!

C: [laughs]

O: [laughs] I'm sorry I can't resist.

C: Oh, I love it.

S: Alright, er-

O: Cool, where do we go now, dum-dums?

_[OS: Starscream is walking around on the bottom of the room looking around for another console or something to activate.]_

C: Right- right!?

O: [screechy voice] Fools! Which way do we go!?

C: I don’t know what to do!

_[OS: Starscream transforms and begins to slowly fly around the room looking for what they’re supposed to activate._

_Thundercracker: The side terminals are showing power levels at maximum.]_

S: I don’t know. I mean, this looks like a door but...

_[Starscream: Hahahaha! We are but one click away from activating the full power of the Energon bridge!]_

O: Cool. How?

_[OS: Starscream transforms, landing next to the now visible console, activating it.]_

O: There we go, this one. [mutters something unintelligible]

_[CS: The equipment in the room lights up, and begins transmitting energy.]_

C: WOAH! What the- ?

_[Starscream: I did it! Look at all that power flowing! Onward, Decepticons!]_

S: To where?

O: Space crack. We have sup- supplied or booty call with space crack.

S: [laughs] Ah. Okay, yes, out the door.

_[CS: Activating the console has opened a door to a tunnel leading downwards. The party enters._

_Thundercracker: I am detecting an unknown energy signature nearby. Off the scale…_

_Starscream: Then we are close - the Energon Bridge must be nearby._

_OS: The party arrives in a large circular room. A machine stands in the center, with flooring that is a mixture of metal frames and glass radiating from the center. Above the machine there appears to be another glass platform of some kind going around the edge of the room._

_Starscream: The device must be inside that machine. Plant a Dark Energon Det-Pack on its power cable to activate it._

_Thundercracker: My scans indicate that--]_

S: Uh…

_[Starscream: I’ve had enough of your readings! Use Dark Energon and corrupt the machine!_

_OS: Starscream flies forward and transforms, landing in front of the device indicated by the UI, and plants a detpack on it.]_

C: [laughs] Your _READINGS!_

S: Uh, I got locked out again.

_[OS: The detpack explodes, and, “New Objective: Destroy the Energon Bridge Guardian,” pops up._

_An in-game cinematic starts, the machine activates, with the upper portion lifting up and firing its guns at the party._

_Skywarp: Whoa… what’s happening?!]_

S: Okay, yay, it teleported me.

_[Thundercracker: Precisely what I was afraid of. Cybertron is trying to purge itself of contamination.]_

C: Wait. We're on Cybertron?

O: Yeah.

S: I guess.

_[Skywarp: What contamination?_

_Starscream: He means US, you idiot!_

_OS: The Seekers all dodge a blast from device’s guns. The camera focuses on Starscream as he flips into the air, transforming into jet mode.]_

C: [laughs]

_[Starscream: Quit blabbing and destroy this nuisance!]_

S: Mm.

_[SS: The upper portion of the device begins to rotate as it continues shooting. Thundercracker hovers, shooting the machine.]_

S: Alright, by- ? Okay? What am I supposed to be shooting?

_[CS: Skywarp is shooting at the devices guns.]_

C: Uh, if your reticle turns red it means you're hitting something. I think it's the big- the big red circles is what you want to be aiming for on the machine, but not-

S: Um.

C: Oddly enough, not the big one in the center.

_[CS: The device stops shooting and drops its guns, but other portions of the machine open up and begin generating wide pink laser beams that begin rotating. There is an upper beam and lower beam, they are currently rotating in opposite directions to each other._

_Thundercracker: Evade those beams!_

_Skywarp: Move! Move! Move!]_

S: Oh.

C: I know that doesn't make a lot of sense but…

S: Sorry, I'm not entirely sure…?

_[OS: Starscream and Thundercracker are flying around trying to avoid the beams.]_

C: Well, right now we just need to be dodging the beam.

S: I'm... doing very badly at that!

C: Now shoot the small red circles.

_[OS: The machine stops and the center opens up revealing a power core.]_

O: Oh, no, shoot the Power Core!

_[Starscream: The machine is vulnerable! Focus your fire on the core!]_

C: Yeah, now we need to shoot the power core.

S: Oh.

_[OS: The party shoots the power core, and then the machine closes up, raising it’s guns and beginning to shoot again.]_

S: Well, nuts.

C: Now go back to shooting the red- the red lights on the guns.

_[CS: Skywarp circles around the machine, shooting at the guns._

_Skywarp: Are we even hurting this thing?_

_Starscream: Not with your pathetic aim! Focus fire on those guns!]_

S: Oh sorry, I’m dead.

C: Uh, where are ya?

_[CS: A downed ally icon appears on the other side of the room. Skywarp begins flying around the machine to get to the other side.]_

O: I see ya.

_[CS: Another downed ally icon appears next to the first.]_

O: I am also dead.

C: No!

O: Help?

C: I'm coming!

_[CS: Skywarp zips towards Starscream and Thundercracker but overshoots.]_

C: Shoot.

_[CS: Thundercracker explodes as Skywarp turns around.]_

S: Sorry, I'm dead. Possibly we're all dead?

_[SS: The game over screen displays.]_

C: Well the show can't carry on without Skywarp!

S: [laughs]

_[SS: The party spawns in the boss room. “New Objective: Activate the Energon Bridge,” appears in the right hand corner.]_

O: You mean Thunderacker!

C: Or Thundercracker, which one are you?

S: [laughs]

_[Thundercracker: My scans indicate that--_

_Starscream: I’ve had enough of your readings! Use Dark Energon and corrupt the machine!]_

C: Jet A and Jet B.

O: I'm gonna make you build one of my model kits so that you'll remember which one- like, which one we're talking about.

_[OS: New Objective, “Destroy the energon bridge guardian,” displays in the bottom right corner of the screen.]_

C: They're both the same!

_[OS: The same cinematic of the device activating from before plays._

_Skywarp: Whoa… what’s happening?!]_

O: [gruff voice] You're ugly! [normal voice] WE LOOK THE SAME! [laughs]

_[Thundercracker: Precisely what I was afraid of. Cybertron is trying to purge itself of contamination.]_

C: And then there's red whiny jet, but at least I remember him.

S: [laughs]

_[Skywarp: What contamination?_

_Starscream: He means US, you idiot!]_

O: [screechy voice] Excuse me! I'm white, and red, and blue. If you're going to insult me, at least have the _decency_ to do it right.

_[Starscream: Quit blabbing and destroy this nuisance!]_

S: Mm.

C: Yeah, I'll let Megatron take care of that.

O: Shut up. [laughs]

C: [laughs]

_[CS/OS: The party targets the device’s guns, until it drops it’s guns and activates it’s beams._

_Thundercracker: Evade those beams!_

_Skywarp: Move! Move! Move!_

_SS: Thundercracker gets hit by one of the beams, taking away an significant portion of his health. He attempts to fly higher, to where the upper glass platform is clearly visible, but is stopped by an invisible barrier.]_

S: Uh, shit.

_[SS: The machine stops and the center opens up revealing a power core. The party shoots at it._

_Starscream: The machine is vulnerable! Focus your fire on the core!]_

S: Why would they design it like that?

C: [laughs]

O: It has to cool off, I don't know.

_[OS: The machine closes up, raising it’s guns and beginning to shoot again. The party targets the guns._

_Skywarp: Are we even hurting this thing?_

_Starscream: Not with your pathetic aim! Focus fire on those guns!]_

C: [laughs] That’s a perfectly valid question!

S: It's a shitty ass design!

C: It would be like if you created a giant weapon, but like, every two minutes it had to open up and expose its weakness.

S: [laughs]

_[Skywarp: Ha! He’s not so tough!_

_SS: The device stops and drops it’s guns, preparing to generating the beams.]_

O: What? That's like, what video games do, isn't it?

C: Yeah, yeah, video games.

_[SS: Thundercracker banks to the right to get away from the part of the machine that will generate the beams.]_

S: Oh shit, woop.

O: Uh, you okay?

S: Yeah. Okay, it’s just now it's time to fly.

_[Megatron (COM): Starscream! What is taking so long!_

_Starscream: Just a slight delay…_

_SS: The spinning beams start up again. Thundercracker again tries to pull upwards but is still blocked by the invisible wall. He is hit by a beam, but not destroyed.]_

C: Oh no, I got cut in half.

S: Same…

_[SS: The game over screen displays.]_

A: [laugh]

O: Woooow.

A: [continue to laugh]

O: I just-

C: That’s unfortunate.

_[SS: The party spawns in the boss room. “New Objective: Activate the Energon Bridge,” appears in the right hand corner.]_

O: You’re, like, required, when you edit this, honey, to like, go back and forth between me being a badass... and you two.

C & S: [laugh]

_[Thundercracker: My scans indicate that--_

_Starscream: I’ve had enough of your readings! Use Dark Energon and corrupt the machine!]_

S: Look-

O: I mean that is the most loving way possible.

S: Look, I've been useful, _sometimes!_

O: [laughs]

_[SS: The same cinematic of the device activating from before plays._

_Skywarp: Whoa… what’s happening?!]_

C: “I’ve been useful!”

O: [laughs]

C: “...sometimes!”

_[Thundercracker: Precisely what I was afraid of. Cybertron is trying to purge itself of contamination.]_

O & S: [laugh]

O: I’m just saying, it’s very funny when it’s like, um-

_[Skywarp: What contamination?_

_Starscream: He means US, you idiot!_ _Quit blabbing and destroy this nuisance!_

_CS: The party fires on the guns.]_

O: Oh, I got cut in half and here I am flying like a badass, and I’m like, “Cut in half!?”

_[SS: The device drops it’s guns and activates it’s beams.]_

S: Ugh..

_[Thundercracker: Evade those beams!_

_Skywarp: Move! Move! Move!]_

S: Oh, shit. Shit.

_[SS: Thundercracker is flying around trying to avoid the beams, but nicks them several times before running into the center of the machine, which apparently is an insta-death.]_

S: I hate... these pink things!

_[SS: The game over screen displays.]_

A: [laugh]

_[Starscream: The device must be inside that machine. Plant a Dark Energon Det-Pack on its power cable to activate it._

_SS: The party spawns in the boss room. “New Objective, activate the energon bridge,” displays in the right hand corner for disappearing.]_

O: Death! Pink horrible death!

S: [laughs]

_[Thundercracker: My scans indicate that--_

_Starscream: I’ve had enough of your readings! Use Dark Energon and corrupt the machine!_

_OS: Starscream flies forward, transforming and planting the detpak.]_

C: Your ‘ _readings!’_

O: [screechy voice] Your _‘readings’!_

_[OS: The same cinematic of the device activating from before plays. New Objective, “Destroy the energon bridge guardian,” displays in the bottom right corner of the screen._

_Skywarp: Whoa… what’s happening?!_

_Thundercracker: Precisely what I was afraid of. Cybertron is trying to purge itself of contamination._

_Skywarp: What contamination?_

_Starscream: He means US, you idiot!_ _Quit blabbing and destroy this nuisance!]_

S: I got to be Sky- Thundercracker... the scientist. For some reason.

_[OS: The party target the guns.]_

O: I mean, honestly, I think- I think I love it? Skywarp’s [Thundercracker’s] the one that's like, “Oh my god, I fucking told you so, asshole!”

S: [laughs]

_[SS: Thundercracker has destroyed the front portion of the guns directly in front of him, beams are no longer shooting from that part.]_

S: _Ohh~_ That was… helpful.

_[CS: The guns drop.]_

C: Okay, so I would recommend if you have trouble avoiding the blades-

_[CS: Skywarp attempts to fly up to the secondary glass platform, but is also blocked by an invisible wall. The machine activates the laserbeams.]_

S: Yeah.

C: Oh, they won't let you. They don't let you fly up!

_[CS: The party dodges the laserbeams.]_

S: Yes, I'm trying to fly up!

C: That's ridiculous!

O: Just fly in the same direction as one of them. Whether it’s the top or the bottom.

_[CS: The game over screen displays.]_

S: I know. I had tried that and they kept catching up to me.

O: You've got to speed up.

C: Oh yeah-

S: I’m using the thrusters!

C: You are?

O: Okay, if you stay more near the middle you have to travel less distance.

_[CS: The party spawns in the boss room. “New Objective, activate the energon bridge,” displays in the right hand corner for disappearing.]_

C: Yeah.

O: Don't go all the way out.

_[Thundercracker: My scans indicate that--_

_Starscream: I’ve had enough of your readings! Use Dark Energon and corrupt the machine!_

_CS: Skywarp flies up to the glass platform that’s inaccessible during the fight.]_

C: But yeah, look! I'm totally up here! You can fly up here _before_ the boss battle starts, but then when it starts it won't let you fly out, that's ridiculous.

_[CS: Skywarp flies over to the device in the center of the room and lands on top of it.]_

C: Look, I'm on its head!

_[CS: New Objective, “Destroy the energon bridge guardian,” displays in the bottom right corner of the screen. The same cinematic of the device activating from before plays._

_Skywarp: Whoa… what’s happening?!_

S: [laughs]

C: I was!

[ _Thundercracker: Precisely what I was afraid of. Cybertron is trying to purge itself of contamination._

_Skywarp: What contamination?_

_Starscream: He means US, you idiot!]_

S: I saw that.

C: And then it's like, oh no, you're fighting it you can't do the smart thing and you know _fly away!_

O: Even though we're fucking jets.

C: Right!

_[Starscream: Quit blabbing and destroy this nuisance!_

_SS: The party targets the guns.]_

S: [sighs]

_[SS: The device drops it’s guns, and begins generating the laserbeams._

_Thundercracker: Evade those beams!_

_Skywarp: Move! Move! Move!_

_SS: Thundercracker hangs close to the middle, but accidentally touches the center of he device, dying instantly. The game over screen displays.]_

S: Okay, I don't know what the hell killed me, but I died.

C: We're gonna have to figure this out.

S: I guess I was too close to it? I touched it, I didn't touch the pink stuff.

_[OS: Owls selects, “Continue from Last Checkpoint.”]_

O: Yeah, don’t touch it. Don’t touch it.

_[Starscream: The device must be inside that machine. Plant a Dark Energon Det-Pack on its power cable to activate it._

_OS: The party spawns in the boss room. “New Objective, activate the energon bridge,” displays in the right hand corner for disappearing. Starscream flies forward and transforms, dropping to the platform below, and planting a detpack on it.]_

C: So how much health do you have coming into this fight?

S: Full hel- full health.

C: Okay

_[Thundercracker: My scans indicate that--_

_Starscream: I’ve had enough of your readings! Use Dark Energon and corrupt the machine!]_

C: When- when we activate- when it activates the blades one of us needs to find Specs and guide her.

S: [laughs]

_[OS: New Objective, “Destroy the energon bridge guardian,” displays in the bottom right corner of the screen. The same cinematic of the device activating from before plays._

_Skywarp: Whoa… what’s happening?!_

O: Or- just maybe follow Chezni, and see if that helps?

S: Uhh… I’ll try.

[ _Thundercracker: Precisely what I was afraid of. Cybertron is trying to purge itself of contamination._

_Skywarp: What contamination?_

_Starscream: He means US, you idiot! Quit blabbing and destroy this nuisance!_

_CS: The party targets the guns.]_

C: All right, I'll try and keep an eye on you.

_[CS: Skywarp looks to his left and sees Thundercracker off in the distance.]_

C: All right, there you are.

_[CS: The machine drops its guns and Skywarp flies over next to Thundercracker.]_

C: All right, Specs, come down here!

S: I'm following you.

C: All right. Now we're just gonna fly in this direction.

_[SS: Skywarp takes off as the beams start, Thundercracker stalls and gets hit by one of them before angling himself upwards and hitting one of the upper beams.]_

S: Well, shit.

_[SS: Thundercracker drops to the lower level and begins flying in the same direction as the pink laserbeam.]_

S: Yes I'm flying in the direction of the pink…

_[SS: The beams deactivate.]_

S: [quietly] Shit, god.

C: That worked!

S: Thank you. Ugh.

_[SS: Thundercracker flies over to a glass cage thing with multiple energon cubes visible inside. He destroys the cage and picks up some health.]_

S: Oh, there's _health._

_[Starscream: The machine is vulnerable! Focus your fire on the core!]_

O: By all means take it.

C: Yeah, I don't need it.

_[OS: Starscream and Skywarp take aim at the device’s power core. Once the health drops a bit, the machine closes back up and raises its guns. The party targets the guns._

_Skywarp: Are we even hurting this thing?_

_Starscream: Not with your pathetic aim! Focus fire on those guns!]_

S: Hmmm.

_[Skywarp: Ha! He’s not so tough!_

S: Ugh.

_[OS: The machine drops it’s guns and activates it’s laserbeams. The party flies around to avoid them._

_Megatron (COM): Starscream! What is taking so long!]_

O: [snorts]

_[Starscream: Just a slight delay...]_

O: [laughs]

_[Megatron (COM): I’m beginning to question your ability to deliver, Starscream. Do not disappoint me!]_

S: The booty call.

O: The booty call is being a jerk! [laughs]

C: “Just freshening up, boss!”

_[OS: The machine drops the laserbeams and exposes its power core and the party shoots it.]_

O: [laughs, before continuing on in a screechy voice] I'm _TRYING_ to not be cut in two right now!

C: Okay, one more round! One more round, _right!?_

_[CS: The machine closes off the core.]_

O: I do not have a ton of health left right now.

S: Um.

_[Skywarp: What is it doing NOW?_

_Starscream: Who cares? Just be ready for it!_

_CS: Lava is visible rising through the glass floor portions of the room. Everything takes on an orangey-red glow.]_

O: Oh dear.

_[Thundercracker: Evasive maneuvers!]_

S: Uh, shit. I don’t know what’s happening.

_[SS: The glass floor panels begin to explode.]_

C: Lava. Lava is happening.

S: Oh, goody.

_[SS: The entire floor is covered with lava, except for a slightly raised ring around the base of the device.]_

C: And missiles.

_[SS: Fireballs come up out of the lava and target the party.]_

S: Whilst I fly randomly, because I don't know what the hell I'm…

O: I mean, look, that's pretty much what we're doing.

C: Yeah, to be honest, I think that's to your benefit.

S: [laughs]

_[OS: The machine generates the laserbeams again, but this time, both the upper and lower portions are stacked on top of each other and there’s easy way to move past them.]_

S: Ah!

C: You’re kidding me.

S: Crap.

O: No, no-

_[OS: Starscream hovers in place and is downed by fireballs.]_

O: Oh damn it!

C: Are you down?

O: Uh, I’m down, I'm down.

C: All right, I…

_[OS: The laserbeams begin moving and hit Starscream, cutting him in half. The game over screen displays.]_

O: And then I got cut in half. Cool beans.

C: [laughs]

S: Okay.

O: I hope there was a checkpoint in the middle!

_[SS: The party spawns in at the point of the fight where the lava starts to rise through the floor.]_

C: [sarcastically] “I did nothing wrong!”

O: Uh-huh, up until that point I had not!

_[SS: Thundercracker points towards the glass cages filled with energon.]_

S: So- so- so you see the things that are down at the bottom? Those all have health in them.

_[Skywarp: What is it doing NOW?_

_Starscream: Who cares? Just be ready for it!_

_Thundercracker: Evasive maneuvers!]_

S: Those cages, with cubes.

C: Gotcha.

S: There's cages with cubes!

_[SS: The lava begins rising.]_

C & S: [laugh]

_[CS: Skywarp stops flying and turns towards the cages.]_

C: Oh, those things! I see, she's right there totally health in them. That’s a lot of health!

_[CS: The glass floor panels begin to explode.]_

O: I plan on- yeah.

_[OS: The party flies around, trying to avoid the fireballs.]_

S: I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now?

C: Just fly away.

S: [laugh]

C: We're waiting for the machine to open up.

C: Essentially we're just dodging the fireball missiles. Cuz, you know, Cybertron decided (logically speaking) the best way to purge viruses from its core-

_[SS: The machine generates the double laserbeams, Thundercracker flies right though the center and takes damage but doesn’t immediately die. But then he accidently transforms and falls into the lava.]_

S: Goddammit! [laughs]

C: -was to have fireball missiles!

_[SS: The Mission Failed screen appears.]_

S: I- I’m sorry. [laughs] That was me.

_[SS: The party spawns at the battle midpoint.]_

O: Hey, at least- at least we have a checkpoint, okay. At least we have a checkpoint.

_[CS: Skywarp shoots some of the energon cages and picks up some health._

_Skywarp: Now I’m all shiny again!]_

C: [laughs] I’m all shiny again.

_[Skywarp: What is it doing NOW?_

_Starscream: Who cares? Just be ready for it!_

_CS: The lava rises and the glass panels begin to break._

_Thundercracker: Evasive maneuvers!_

_CS/OS/SS: The party flies around the machine, avoiding fireballs.]_

C: Evasive maneuvers, otherwise known as flying around in a circle.

S: [laughs]

C: These are top-tier strategies right here.

S: Yeah, just fly randomly and- [laughs]

C: [laughs]

O: Pray.

C: It’s genius!

S: [laughs]

C: Wait, who are we praying to?

O: [attempting to imitate Skywarp] “Hey, boss! I’m a genius!”

_[OS: The laserbeams activate.]_

C: Uh, isn’t- who is it, Drift? Is Drift a god?

S: No…

O: No, Primus- Rung is, dear.

C: Rung, yeah.

_[OS: The laserbeams begin to rotate._

_Megatron (COM): Starscream! What is taking so long!_

_Starscream: Just a slight delay…_

_OS: Thundercracker is visible in the distance running into one of the laserbeams and getting cut in half.]_

S: Oh, shit. Shit, AHHH!

_[OS: The game over screen displays.]_

S: I got cut in half.

O: [laughs] I saw that.

A: [laugh]

_[OS: Owls selects, “Restart From Last Checkpoint,” and the party spawns at the previous checkpoint.]_

C: Okay, so Specs, I'm sure you know this but just to go over it strategically.

S: [laughs]

_[Skywarp: What is it doing NOW?_

_Starscream: Who cares? Just be ready for it!_

_CS: The lava rises and the explosions start happening. The party flies around avoiding fireballs._

_Thundercracker: Evasive maneuvers!]_

C: You're doing great dodging the fireballs, but eventually when those blades come out they start very slowly. You need to-

S: [still laughing] I _knoooow!_

C: Okay.

O: “I knoooow!”

C & S: [laughs]

O: What I’m getting from this is that Thundercracker is like, the worst flyer out of these three?

C: [laughs]

S: [laughs] Thundercracker is a _scientist!_

O: [laughs] So is Starscream, _supposedly!_ Apparently, his flight is affected by how much he wants a booty call.

O & S: [laugh]

C: I mean-

S: Granted, you know, probably part of my issue is that my mouse is, you know, a rollerball one.

_[SS: The laserbeams come up just as Thundercracker is flying, and he manages to fly through the middle, only taking minor damage. He stops once on the other side of the beam.]_

C: Oh right, she's playing with that crazy rollerball- rollerball mouse. That would be pretty hard.

_[SS: The dual laserbeams begin moving._

_Megatron (COM): Starscream! What is taking so long!_

_Starscream: Just a slight delay...]_

C: All right, now they're gonna start moving you need to slowly-

S: Yes! I am- I am zooming! [laughs]

O: I think you mean, “NYRMING”.

_[Megatron (COM): I’m beginning to question your ability to deliver, Starscream. Do not disappoint me!_

O: Oh shit!

_[OS: The laserbeams stop, and Starscream goes through the middle of them.]_

S: Oh shit! I can’t turn around!

_[OS: The laserbeams begin moving in the opposite direction from before. Starscream turns around but off in the distance Thundercracker goes through them.]_

S: Oh, it didn’t kill me. Shit!

_[CS: Skywarp is attempting to get health from one of the energon cages but one of the laserbeams hits him and kills him.]_

C: Are you kidding me?

_[CS: The game over screen displays.]_

O: ARGH! Which of us died!?

C: That was me.

O: Oh my god it was you!

C: Yup.

O: I blame you!

_[CS: The party restarts at the checkpoint.]_

O: I went through the middle of them and didn't die, earlier!

C: Yup.

O: I was so proud of myself and this is what I have to deal with!

C: [sighs] I am so sorry.

_[Skywarp: What is it doing NOW?_

_Starscream: Who cares? Just be ready for it!]_

S: And be aware that there is, in fact, Energon, or heal.

_[OS: The lava begins to rise and blow up the glass panels below. The party flies around avoiding fireballs._

_Thundercracker: Evasive maneuvers!]_

C: Yeah, no, that’s actually what got me killed.

O: That doesn’t help when you just get cut in half.

C: Um, I went in for the Energon and then, uh...

S: Then you died.

C: Yep.

S: [laughs] That happened to me. That was like, not the most recent death but…

O: I did not need to get hit by the fireballs, thank you!

S: Good-bye, fireballs! [laughs]

C: [laughs]

S: [laughs] Sorry, for some reason I always find it really amusing when- when I die.

_[SS: The laserbeams come up and Thundercracker isn’t able to stop in time and goes through them and then turns around and goes through them again, dropping his health below one bar.]_

S: Ahhh! Shhhit.

_[SS: The laserbeams start moving as Thundercracker shoots one of the cages and grabs some energon._

_Megatron (COM): Starscream! What is taking so long!]_

C: Okay, so they're gonna go clockwise and then when they turn off they go counterclockwise.

_[SS: One of the laserbeams hits Thundercracker, but then stop. Thundercracker turns around and starts heading the other direction._

_Starscream: Just a slight delay...]_

_Megatron (COM): I’m beginning to question your ability to deliver, Starscream. Do not disappoint me!]_

S: Oh, okay, that happened.

C: Now turn around and go the other way.

_[CS: The laserbeams begin moving in the opposite direction.]_

C: And I don't know what they're gonna do after this you're on your own.

S: I’m gonna follow- ah!

_[CS: Thundercracker runs into Skywarp. The two turn around and begin to head the other direction.]_

C: This isn’t bumper jets!

_[OS: The beams split up again, with the top and bottom moving in different directions. The two halves line up when they stop, Starscream tries to bank but accidentally transforms instead, falling into the lava.]_

O: Oh shit- ARGHHH!

_[OS: The game over screen displays.]_

O: Dammit.

C: WELL-

O: Wait-

_[OS: Owls selects Load from last checkpoint.]_

C: Look who died!

O: Shut up.

S: [laughs]

O: Just shut up.

_[OS: The party restarts at the checkpoint.]_

C: Ahh, this is fun, isn’t this fun?

O: Shut up.

C: It is fun, I’m gla- I’m glad to be a part of this!

O: Shut up! [laughs]

_[OS: New Objective, “Destroy the energon bridge guardian,” displays in the bottom right corner of the screen._

_Skywarp: What is it doing NOW?_

_Starscream: Who cares? Just be ready for it!]_

S: I’m-

C: [laughs]

S: Pre-destroying shit now.

_[Thundercracker: Evasive maneuvers!_

_SS: The lava rises and begins to destroy the glass panels. The party flies around, avoiding fireballs.]_

C: You gotta admit though, if these three guys were just normal scientists who decided to wake up one day and do all this, that's pretty badass.

S: Decide to just be evil.

O: Oh no!

_[OS: Starscream is flying around near the lava with very little health. He shoots an energon cage and picks up some health.]_

C: No, well, that and fly down here and do all this crazy stuff.

S: Yeah.

_[OS: The dual laserbeams appear.]_

S: Oh! Shhhit.

C: Oh crap!

C: I flew right into those blades.

S: Uh, shit.

_[Megatron (COM): Starscream! What is taking so long!_

S: Okie dokie.

_[OS: The beams begin moving._

_Starscream: Just a slight delay...]_

O: [snorts]

_Megatron (COM): I’m beginning to question your ability to deliver, Starscream. Do not disappoint me!_

_OS: The blades reverse direction.]_

O: [snorts] I'm sorry, I don't know why I find that funny, but I do. [laughs]

S: Egh!

_[SS: The top and bottom blades begin moving in opposite directions.]_

S: It's like, I must now move!

_[SS: Thundercracker boosts forward as the blades stop, narrowly missing them.]_

S: But not too fast! Shit!

_[SS: The blades disappear and the machine exposes it’s core.]_

C: We did it! We did it! Shoot that core!

_[Starscream: The machine is vulnerable! Focus your fire on the core!_

_OS: The core is destroyed.]_

O: Oh thank freakin’ god!

S: Phew. Fuck!

_[OS: The machine folds in on itself and a black claw like mechanical things come out of the middle, seemingly infecting the lava with dark energon. One of the arms goes up through the ceiling creating a hole._

_Skywarp: Wait! Something’s happening!_

_Starscream: YES! It’s crumbling before the MIGHT of STARSCREAM!]_

O: Is that what we're calling this?

_[Starscream: To the surface, Decepticons!_

_OS: New Objective, “Escape to the surface,” displays in the bottom right corner of the screen.]_

S: Uh, I guess we're supposed to go up there?

_[OS: Starscream enters the tunnel from the created hole. Dark energon appears to be causing black spikey structures to grow up through the tunnel as the party flies upwards.]_

S: Uh, okay.

_[Skywarp: The machine is out of control!_

_Thundercracker: It must be a side effect of the Dark Energon!]_

C: Great shot kid, that was one in a million.

O: [snorts]

C: [laughs]

C: I can’t remember any of the other lines.

_[OS: The party continues to fly upwards.]_

S: Sorry, I only- I only sorta know where I’m-

O: Where you’re going?

C: Just fly up. It's the Death Star, we're getting out of this thing.

_[OS: An in-game cinematic plays, as the 3 Seekers exit to the surface of Cybertron, the black growths continue to grow into a platform below. A large machine on 4 spider like legs begins to move._

_Skywarp: We’ve done it! The Energon Bridge is activating!]_

S: It’s elephant toothpaste.

C: What!?

S: [laughs]

[ **Note:** If you are as confused as we were [ this ](https://youtu.be/ei5kGOW1wT8?t=232) is elephant toothpaste. ~O]

_[OS: The Seekers transform, landing on a nearby platform._

_Thundercracker: Incredible. The Energon Bridge is active once more.]_

C: That's a bridge!? That looks like a giant spider!

S: Kind of.

_[Starscream: Quiet! You’re ruining my moment of Glory! Soon, my Orbital Station will be at full power!]_

O: [screechy voice] Shut up twos! A ten is talking! [laughs]

C: [laughs]

_[Megatron: YOUR orbital station, Starscream? Surely you mean MINE._

O: [snorts]

_[Megatron: I see you have finally succeeded in the simple task I gave you. Perhaps you’re not as worthless as I thought. Report back to base--at once!_

_OS: The spider device activates, bringing energon up from below and sending it upwards towards the orbital station. The three Seekers take to the air flying back to base.]_

O: [volume has been reduced] Oww!

_[A cinematic plays - the beam of energon bounces around between what appears to be multiple satellites before reaching the orbital station from the first chapter. Soundwave gestures to the now online machinery._

_Soundwave: All systems online. Dark Energon manufacturing at optimal efficiency.]_

S: Okay, so is that the end of that map?

O: I think so, but…

_[Megatron walks up beside Soundwave._

_Megatron: Now I can introduce Dark Energon into the planet’s core...and as it spreads throughout Cybertron, my power shall travel with it!_

_Soundwave: Entrance to the planet core is heavily shielded behind the Omega Gate._

_Megatron: I will acquire the key. We launch a full scale assault of Iacon IMMEDIATELY. And wipe Zeta Prime and his pathetic Autobots off the face of the planet._

_Megatron takes a holographic Cybertron in his hands and then crushes it._

_The chapter ends, bringing everyone back to the main menu.]_

C: I don't want to be a jet anymore!

O: Well, you don't have to be that's the only chapter with jets in it.

[ **Note:** Except the Autobot chapter later, whoops. ~O]

C: Okay, good, I like my feet on the ground.

O: Um, I-I think probably after this you'll be Soundwave.

C: Wait, _I'll_ be Soundwave and not you?

O: Uh, no, because uh, Soundwave’s the healer. Do you want me healing? The answer is no. _I_ want my fusion cannon. [laughs]

C: Oh, right, right, right.

O: [laughs] I want my fusion cannon, _hello!_ Which is funny, because I actually prefer Soundwave in this game. Like, character wise, to Megatron.

C: I make a good healer. [indignantly] I'm a- I'm a good healer!

O: [snorts] I didn't say you weren't, I said I was a bad one! [laughs] So, to summarize thus far: We've had a crack addict take over a space station to get to space crack. We have had the crack addict’s new booty er, you know, boyfriend uh, arm candy? I don’t know. Uh, going into the planet’s core for a booty call in order to get that space crack running through the entire planet. Does that sum it up? [laughs]

[ **Note:** The Seekers were underground but not truly in Cybetron’s core. ~O]

C: I believe it does.

S: Scientist wants to impress his new booty call, so off he went with his two most dearly detested buddies. Or something.

O: Apparently? Co-workers, that were apparently down for this? I don't know.

A: [laugh]

C: They’re his literal- eh, hold on- wa- wa- wait, no. They’re his _wing-_ men? Aha!

O: ARGH! I’m gonna go in the bedroom and throw something at you!

C: [laughs]

O: Okay, well, um, I think that rather nicely summarizes it. Uh, next time we’ll do chapter 3: _Iacon Destroyed_. Till next time, I'm Owls.

S: I'm Specs.

C: I'm Chezni.

O: And thanks for watching, bye!

S: Bye!


	3. Iacon Destroyed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War for Cybertron - Decepticon Campaign  
> Chapter 3: Iacon Destroyed  
> Megatron HATES pop up ads!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Events happening in-game will be denoted by [bracketed italics] ._

[Into Music]

_ [The main menu for Transformers War for Cybertron displays.] _

O: Hi, guys! Sooo, uh, we found out a thing last week. Um, they shut the servers for this game down, and you need the servers in order to play multiplayer.  _ Soo... _ here’s what we’re gonna do. Ah, I’m gonna play, uh, and, uh, Specs and Chezni are going to provide commentary, probably while I’m making a fool of myself. And that’s how we’re gonna finish this damn- game dammit, because we are going to finish this. I started it, I wanna finish it.

C: A moment of silence for the Activision servers.

S: [sighs] Yup.

C: [laughs]

O: [laughs] Fuck you Activision.

S: [laughs]

O: I get it, just why can I not host a game or something!? I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. I’m just annoyed, because I was actually having fun playing multiplayer and I’m like, oh COME ON!

S: It was fun, I’d been looking forward to it.

O: Well, hopefully, you’ll still be somewhat amused by watching me play. Unfortunately, and I’m- I’m really sad, cause I was so happy, I was like, yay, Chezni’s going to play as Soundwave, because I refuse to play as Soundwave, cause he basically, has a healing gun, which is all but useless when you have like, computer allies. So I’m like, oh yay, Soundwave will get some love! Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

S: [laughs]

O: And I refuse to play as anybody that isn’t Megatron in the Decepticon campaign, if he’s available, because unlike most of the other guns, you cannot pick up the Fusion Cannon as a drop, I am using the damn Fusion Cannon.

S: Ah.

C: You can’t steal Megatron’s arm?

O: [laughs] No, but in the sequel game you can!

_ [Owls selects Campaign > Solo Campaign > Chapter Select.] _

C: I’m pretty sure that’s wrong…

O: [laughs] Well, I mean why not, the man stole a Prime arm- er, a Prime’s arm in Transformers: Prime, did he not?

_ [Chapter III, Iacon Destroyed is selected.] _

O: Alright, uh, wait- what chapter was it? Yeah, Iacon Destroyed.

_ [Owls clicks on the first checkpoint before immediately backing out and then clicking on it again. The character selection menu is displayed and she scrolls through the three available characters for the level, Megatron, Soundwave, and Breakdown.] _

O: We are in Iacon Destroyed, uh, our three characters available are: Breakdown, Soundwave, and Megatron. And Soundwave, rather sadly, doesn’t like, have any way to use his cassettes when you’re playing as him. Which makes me sad.

S: Aww. That’s disapp-

O: Cuz he definitely- he definitely uses them to fight you later.

S: That’s disappointing. I would have liked to play with um, Breakdown.

O: Yeah.

C: Yess. Specs you- you’re with me in that you’re- you’re a big Breakdown fan, right? Oh, no, wait! This is Breakdown, not Knockout, sorry!

O: [laughs]

S: Well, I- I like both of them.

C: Is Knockout in this game?

O: No, not at all!

S: No.

O: Knockout was created wholesale for Prime. Like he’s not- he didn’t appear in anything before that.

S: Yeah.

O: Whereas Breakdown, even if Prime wasn’t out yet (which I don’t think it was) was a character that existed in G1.

S: Yes, he came out late in Season 2, and he was part of the Stunticons. And his personality quirk is that he’s very neurotic.

C: Heh.

S: Like, he thinks street lights are staring at him.

C & O: [laugh]

O: Wow, that was quite different in Prime, wasn’t it? [laughs]

C: Wow.

S: Well, that’s just in G1, he’s not paranoid about things in uh, Prime. Cuz he’s an entirely different character with a completely different origin- origin, probably. Though, a lot of people like to write him as originally being a member of the Stunticons.

O: Is it bad my brain sunk- just jumped straight to, “Well, it’s amazing how much less neurotic he is after getting boned for a couple million years, huh?”

A: [laugh]

S: Oh god, the fact that apparently Breakdown-

O: I’m just saying, somebody look at Knockout and tell me that boy don’t  _ fuck. _ I’m just saying! [laughs]

S: Well, the fact that Knockout’s entire design philosophy was apparently,  _ make him sexy. _

O & S: [laugh]

C: [imitating TFP Starscream] “Oh, you’re one of  _ those. _ ”

O & S: [laugh]

O: Starscream, you have no room to talk! [laughs]

C & S: [laugh]

O: NOOO room! [laughs]

S: Now I kinda wanna go get out the Prime artbook, but this is not the time! So let’s get to the- let’s get to the game.

C: Right, right.

O: Let’s get to me blowing things up!

_ [Owls selects Megatron and the game goes to a loading screen, before opening up with a text crawl narrated, yet again, by Steve Blum. _

_ Narrator: Hungry for more power.] _

O: [quietly] Oh, thank fuck. It was so loud guys, it was so loud, and now it’s not! [Referring to the sound issues in the last couple of chapters. ~O]

_ [Narrator: Megatron plans to corrupt the very core of Cybertron itself with Dark Energon. But to do so, he must first find the Omega Key. Which will unlock the gateway to the core.] _

O: Nothing bad can happen with this plan!

S: [sighs] Oh, Megatron. He wants-

_ [Narrator: Megatron launches a full scale assault on Iacon, capital city of the Autobots where the key is protected by Zeta Prime--leader of the Autobots.] _

O: This is a terrible idea! Why does he think this is a good idea!?

S: He really wants the Space Crack.

O: I- I guess, but- but did he need to give it to the planet!? [laughs]

S: He wants to infect the planet with Space Crack to get more Space Crack.

O: Ah, so he needs a Space Crack generating machine.

_ [An in-game cinematic starts with a drop ship hovering close to the ground in what appears to be the middle of a city. Megatron, Soundwave, and Breakdown jump off the ship onto the ground below, while Starscream drops out of the ship, and floats a little above the group in robot mode. _

_ Megatron: Starscream - continue forward and meet Zeta Prime’s armies on the front line! _

_ Starscream: Have no fear, Lord Megatron! Under my leadership, Decepticon victory is assured!] _

O: Oh, shut up.

_ [Megatron: Do not fail me! _

_ Starscream transforms and flies off into the sky. _

_ Breakdown: Why aren’t we joining the main battle, Megatron? _

_ Megatron: While Starscream attacks Zeta Prime’s armies head on, we shall move behind enemy lines and obtain the Omega Key. _

_ As Megatron talks, the camera view cuts back and forth between the three party members as well as the battle they’ve been dropped into. Around them Autobot and Decepticon forces are fighting each other.] _

O: Because-

_ [Breakdown: The Omega what?] _

O: -he basically, will be invisible.

_ [Soundwave: The Omega Key grants access to the Core of Cybertron.] _

C: Omega say what?

O: Soundwave <3

_ [Megatron: Once I have access to the core, I will infuse it with Dark Energon and subject the entire planet’s energy supply to MY WILL! _

_ New Objective, Enter the Stellar Galleries, displays briefly on the right side of the screen. _

_ The camera swaps to the gameplay view. The party has been dropped off on a raised platform that has two sets of stairs leading down to ground level off to the right and left. _

_ In front of them is a large reddish-brown building, surrounded by more reddish-brown structures on either side. Directly in front of the building there appears to be some kind of courtyard, that contains blueish energon flowing like water in two fountains, two artificial waterfalls on either side of the courtyard, as well as additional water features visible at the building’s entrance. _

_ The front of the building resembles a face with two eyes and a mouth.] _

C: Does that building have a face?

_ [Autobot: Decepticon intruders! They’re inside the city! _

_ Megatron stops and looks up at the weird face on the building.] _

O: You know, it might?

_ [Breakdown: Autobots attacking! Hey, wasn’t Starscream supposed to keep these guys occupied? _

_ The group is in the middle of a firefight, and Megatron is hit by a shot before running over to the edge of the raised platform the party is on and looking around. He shoots an Autobot at a sentry gun.] _

O: Oh fuck, who’s shooting at me bug- you bastards!

_ [Megatron: Even the Autobots aren’t foolish enough to leave the Stellar Galleries undefended. Destroy them!] _

O: That one exploded...

C: So Specs, now we get to act like uh, we're the masters of everything and we would never make any of the mistakes- [laughs]

O: [laughs] Yeah, yeah, you guys have fun over there. I'll just uh, you know- I'll put my metaphorical life on the line.

_ [Megatron continues to shoot at Autobots with his Fusion Cannon and attempts to avoid taking enemy fire.] _

C: [laughs]

O: Or, you know, insert comment about, “I still have a Fusion Cannon here, thank you!”

S: Yeah, oh-

O: Fucking rocket fucker. [laughs]

_ [Megatron takes aim at an Autobot hiding behind a large energy shield. Periodically, the shield drops and the Autobot shots missiles, leaving them vulnerable for a few seconds.] _

S: Oh. I like... I can't decide if the lighting is like, very warm or if that's supposed to be the metal color. One of those things- pieces of wall looks like a face, and it’s kind of-

O: [laughs] That’s what Chezni said too.

S: -fucking with me.

O: [laughs] The building is staring at you Specs! The building is staring at you, it’s a friendly building!

_ [Megatron jumps down off the platform and takes aim at some Autobots he couldn’t see in his previous vantage point.] _

S: Nooo…

O: I feel like I’m in a- like, watch- now I feel like I’m watching a children’s show where like, everything has faces. [laughs]

S: Yeah.

C: Your friends on the right exploded for like, no reason.

O: Will you stay still, you!?

_ [Several Autobots run up to the area where Megatron and some Decepticon grunts are. Megatron attempts to shoot them but misses multiple times before finally hitting them.] _

S: Oh.

O: Megatron! We need more bullets, or you need to have better aim!

_ [Megatron is still firing on Autobots, but is running low on ammunition.] _

S: Hm, so-

_ [Autobots continue to target Megatron.] _

O: Oh my god, go away! Oh sorry, Specs.

S: This area actually looks like it would be really pretty... if it wasn't in the middle of a firefight.

O: Yeah!

C: I agree.

O: Yeah, it does. And, you know, we're actually outside in what passes as daylight on Cybertron? Which, uh, which we- we haven't gotten to see like this entire time, you know?

_ [Megatron turns around in a circle, looking up at the sky which is reddish orange in color.] _

S: Yeah.

C: So, wait, is it normal for Cybertron to have water?

O: Uh... yeah-

S: That’s not water.

O: It’s Energon.

C: Oh.

_ [The immediate Autobots defeated, the party moves forward towards the interior of the building, walking past all of the ‘water’ features.] _

C: The Energon must flow.

O: Although, som- sometimes it has water? Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it has the Sea of Rust?

S: Sometimes it's got other things. I mean, it could be uh, like, some sort of metal with a very low melting point.

O: Yeah.

C: Gotcha.

O: Pick one?

_ [Megatron is able to fully replenish his Fusion Cannon ammo. Off to his left a weapon chest is visible, he walks over to it.] _

O: Oh good, a gun. Sniper rifle?

_ [Megatron smashes the chest and receives a Scatter Blaster (Full-Auto).] _

O: No? No? Oh, damn.

_ [Megatron walks over to the left, smashing another ammo chest and then walking around to an area with multiple artificial waterfalls.] _

S: Just the fact that your method of opening certain things just involves beating the shit out of it with-

O: Why- why do you think I’m like, “Megatron smash!” [laughs] Cuz it- it's very, very accurate, thank you.

S: Yeah.

_ [Seeing nothing else of value, Megatron turns around and transforms into vehicle mode, heading further into the interior of the building.] _

O: Look, if I’m playing as a hulking warlord, I’m gonna have fun with it, okay?

_ [Soundwave: Megatron -- sensors indicate Autobot energy signatures nearby. _

_ Breakdown: Where? I don’t see anything... _

_ After heading up some stairs, Megatron exits into another smaller open air courtyard. In the middle stands a giant statue of some unknown Cybertronian. Soundwave and Breakdown follow behind Megatron, while three Decepticon grunts are waiting in front of the statue.] _

O: I keep trying to shoot the Decepticons, because I’m like, “PEOPLE ARE RUNNING AT ME!”

_ [Megatron: The Autobots are here, no doubt skulking in the shadows.] _

O: Do you have any room to talk?

C: Ah, yes, the Autobots, known for their skulking.

O: Yes!

_ [The Decepticon grunts are all killed when some energy blasts come out of nowhere. _

_ Decepticon Grunt: NOOO! _

_ Megatron backs up and begins looking around the room.] _

O: Oh god, even our guys sound stupid when they die.

S: Known for their deception.

C: [laughs]

_ [Breakdown: They’re all around us!] _

S: Nevermind our uh, faction name.

_ [Megatron: Return fire! Destroy anything that moves!] _

C: Right.

O: You are being deceived-

_ [Megatron is destroyed by energy blasts from the invisible enemies, and Owls is kicked out to the Mission Failed screen.] _

O: -goddammit. [laughs]

C: [laughs]

S: Bye, Megatron.

O: I am deceiving myself, apparently!

_ [Owls selects, “Restart From Last Checkpoint,” and the game reloads at the doorway to the second courtyard. _

_ New Objective, Enter the Stellar Galleries, displays briefly on the right side of the screen.] _

C: Just shaking off the rust!

O: Uh-huh. I- why- I wish it would have saved me picking shit up though.

_ [Megatron turns around and smashes the weapon chest behind him to pick up a Scatter Blaster. _

_ Megatron: This shall be the downfall of countless Autobots! _

_ He then runs over to an ammo chest and smashes it to refill his ammo. _

_ Megatron: Argh!] _

C: Alright, so they're here for the Omega Key, and they want the Omega Key because…?

_ [Megatron enters the doorway, walking out into the same courtyard as before. _

_ Soundwave: Megatron -- sensors indicate Autobot energy signatures nearby. _

_ Breakdown: Where? I don’t see anything...] _

O: They need the key to get to the center of the planet, so he can put is Space Crack into the planet.

_ [Megatron: The Autobots are here, no doubt skulking in the shadows. _

_ The 3 Decepticon grunts are killed, a firefight ensues.] _

S: I kind of want to say that the Omega Key is supposed to open the Omega Lock and it-

O: Well, it’s held by Omega Supreme, so you’re not wrong.

S: [sighs]

C: Omega Supreme.

S: They really like their Omega naming.

_ [The party moves forward and begins attacking the invisible enemies. _

_ Breakdown: They’re all around us! _

_ Megatron: Return fire! Destroy anything that moves!] _

O: You know, the one that sounds like a burrito!

C: Yeah.

S: [laughs]

C: Sounds like the kind of thing you’d go to a fast food restaurant and order.

S: Except that um, having um, having that order means that you automatically want to murder all the Constructicons.

O: [laughs] Your rage at the Constructicons will be complete!

C: Yeah, so I’d like an- a number 6? An Omega Supreme with a side ord- with a side of killing all the Destructicons.

O: Constructicons, but yes.

C: Constructicons, sorry.

O: What- sorry, with a side of uh, the  _ rage _ at being betrayed by my Constructicon bros.

S: Yup.

C: So wait, are those the green and purple ones?

O: Yup.

S: Yes.

O: They make  _ Devastator! _

S: They are construction equipment.

_ [Megatron chases around a particularly troublesome enemy that keeps dodging his shoots.] _

C: Why does Omega Supreme hate them?

O: Watch our podcast and find out! [laughs]

S: Yeah...

C: I edit your podcast!

O: We haven’t gotten to that episode yet, that’s why I’m making that joke. [laughs]

C: Gotcha.

_ [The last enemy is taken out, Megatron grabs some additional ammo, and heads down some stairs to where Breakdown and Soundwave are waiting.] _

O: But yes, please Specs, feel free to enlighten him, I just had to rib him first. [laughs]

S: It involves um... crimes against architecture.

O: [laughs]

C: Great. [unintelligible]

O: [continues laughing] “Crimes against architecture,” huh?

S: Well, that's roughly what happens. Very roughly.

_ [The party exits into a circular area that is open to the sky. In the distance an Autobot drop ship crashes. Megatron throws a grenade into the center of the area. _

**Note:** Owls did not mean to throw the grenade.

_ Breakdown: What are you trying to do!?] _

C: Megatron keeps his troops on his toes. “Didn't expect me throw a grenade at your feet, did ya!?”

_ [Starscream (COM): Megatron -- the Dark Energon is proving every bit as formidable as you predicted! The Autobot armies crumble before it!] _

O: [deep voice] On your toes, Breakdown! On your toes!

C: [laughs]

_ [The party heads through a doorway on their right, and onto a walkway. Megatron grabs a Scatter Blaster from a nearby weapon chest. _

_ Megatron: Excellent, Starscream. Continue engaging them so that I can acquire the Omega Key. _

_ Breakdown: There’s something off about that Starscream guy, Megatron. I don’t trust him.] _

C: So wait, that was um, those enemies you were fighting earlier were invisible weren’t they?

O: Yup.

S: Yeah, they turned up in one of the previous areas.

_ [Megatron: Oh, I trust Starscream about as far as I can blast him… but he shows a rare cunning that I find intriguing. _

_ The party continues up a ramp, once they reach level ground again, Megatron walks over to a gun that is lying on the ground. It is revealed to be a Null Ray (10x Scope) and he picks it up before continuing forward.] _

O: THANK YOU!

_ [Soundwave: Be aware -- snipers at the entrance. _

_ Megatron: Move forward and flank them! Let nothing stand in my way! _

_ Megatron takes cover around the corner and shoots at the snipers with the Null Ray he just acquired.] _

S: Though, I'm not sure what they are or what they do based off of in previous uh..

O: I don’t know.

C: They’re all Smokescreens.

O: [laughs] Mirage.

S: They’re more likely be to be Mirage.

O: Are they’re all Mirages?

_ [The party moves out into another large open area, with a big fountain in the middle and Megatron takes cover behind the fountain, still shooting Autobots.] _

C: Mirage, sorry. I don’t know why, I get Mirage and Smokescreen mixed up.

O: Well, I mean, they do similar things but in completely different ways?

S: Yeah.

O: Uh, Mirage keeps people from seeing him by turning invisible. Smokescreen keeps people from seeing things by generating smoke.

S: Yeah.

C: So ones really fancy, and the other one just pollutes the environment, got it.

S: [laughs] More or less.

O: Yeah! Yeah, you know what? I feel like- I-I, you know, I have the feeling Mirage would agree with that statement. Like, a lot. You would probably have made his day by describing it that way. [laughs]

_ [The last Autobots in the area are defeated. Megatron walks around the fountain passing another gun, before finding an ammo chest and smashing it.] _

O:  _ Smash~ _

_ [Megatron passes under a large arch directly in front of the fountain, passing by another ammo chest and smashing it.] _

O: Why did I do that? That doesn’t get me anything. I like to smash things, that’s what’s going on here.

C: It’s addicting.

_ [The party continues forward, passing by two large water features and heading up some stairs.] _

O: [quietly] Smash, smash, smash, smash, smash, smash, smash, smash.

_ [Breakdown?: Let’s go, Decepticons! _

_ The party turns a corner and comes across a bridge flanked by a multitude of statues. Autobot snipers are on some platform above the bridge, shooting down at the party.] _

S: Breakdown looks so tiny compared to um, to Megatron.

C: Yeah.

_ [Megatron takes out three Autobots with the sniper rifle in rapid succession.] _

C: Those guys didn’t stand a chance.

S: You're very good at the sniper stuff.

O: Eh, it’s easier? [laughs] Cuz I’m not in a firefight. I don’t actually do that well when I uh-

_ [Autobot reinforcements come out of an entry way behind the platforms and jump down onto the bridge, firing on Megatron and the others.] _

O: I wish this sho- thing in the sequel where you could swap arms- um, I don’t very well in the middle of a fight, unfortunately.

_ [Megatron runs in front of the bridge so he can take cover on the other side and better aim at the enemy, and then takes out the remaining two Autobots. _

_ Megatron: Decepticons cannot be stopped!] _

C: Yup, Owls is our sniper.

O: So I just do this. And then, they threw the sniper into the game  _ by herself. _ [laughs]

C: I'm the one who gets lost, and Specs is the one who runs up and cuts people.

A: [laugh]

O: I’m gonna cut ya.

S: Well, you're not the only one who gets lost Chezni, I do too.

_ [Megatron grabs some ammo and then walks over to Breakdown and Soundwave, who are standing in front of a locked door. _

_ Soundwave: Megatron, the gate to the Stellar Galleries is locked. _

_ Megatron: I anticipated this. A powerful infusion of Dark Energon will bend the doors to my will! _

_ Megatron uses Dark Energon and destroys the door, allowing them to walk in at their convenience.] _

C: That is true. We both get lost.

S: Yeah, the problem I find is just that a lot of, um. Well, a lot of games have to reuse uh, environment assets enough that I have difficulty ident- identifying other areas. Cuz ia lot of it just looks the same to me.

_ [Upon entering the tunnel, Megatron smashes two nearby Autobots who had been injured by the Dark Energon blast.] _

C: Yeah.

O: It all looks the fucking same!

S: Pretty much.

_ [Megatron briefly enters a room before turning around and exploring the adjacent hallways. He picks up some health from a health chest and returns to the room. There is a large rotating pillar in the center that has multiple sets of lasers at varying heights, and seven spaced out platforms surrounding the center pillar. Three of the platforms have some sort of batteries on them that the quest markers are indicating, 4 are smaller, circular and at a lower level than the ledge the party entered on. Blue energon is visible on the floor. _

_ Autobot Security System: Initiating defense grid. _

_ Soundwave: Megatron -- those batteries feed the security grid. _

_ Megatron: Quickly! Infuse the batteries with Dark Energon! _

_ New Objective, “Disable the security system,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.] _

O: [singing to the tune of the Star Wars theme]  _ Space crack! It’s some space crack! He wants to use some space crack for THINGS! _

_ [Megatron dodges a laserbeam and jumps to the platform on his left, landing on the one right below it that a battery is on.] _

C: Megatron- just used his force powers to open that door.

O: Yes.

C: But… why does he not just use his force powers to do everything now?

O: I- he kinda does use for it for a bunch of things?

_ [By the time Megatron gets to the battery it has already been infected with Dark Energon. Sentry guns pop out of the wall and fire on him and Breakdown. _

_ Breakdown: We gotta turn of these lasers before we all get fried!] _

C: Or was he just like, super charged when he first got it and now he’s coming off-

O: I mean, I think he was super charged uh, when he first got it, uh, for sure, but-

S: Yeah, and now he’s-

C: And now he’s just chasing after that.

_ [Megatron takes aim at the sentry guns around the room, trying to dodge the guns and laser with limited success.] _

O: Yeah, he’s chasing after that high- what is shooting at me?

S: That sweet, sweet high.

C: I think you’re shooting yourself.

S: Also-

O: Maybe I am, but I didn’t think I could do that the Fusion Cannon.

C: Oh.

_ [Breakdown: We gotta turn of these lasers before we all get fried! _

_ Megatron jumps up on a higher platform, and attempts to jump to a higher platform with a battery on it, but aborts and lands back on the platform he jumped from when it doesn’t look like he can make it.] _

O: Ugh.

S: I don't know how you're supposed to turn off the lasers.

C: Violence.

O: I know there must be a way, I just don’t remember how.

C: See, Specs, after watching all of um, you know, the- the footage that I’ve edited for the- vid- epi- videos that we were able to play together in. You are amazing good at finding-

_ [Soundwave: Scans indicate that the batteries power the security grid. _

_ Megatron jumps back up on the platform he entered on and attempts to go around the pillar and jump on another platform but instead just walks off the edge, landing in the energon and dying instantly.] _

O: That’s-! I- do- it’s- die! [annoyed gibberish noises]

_ [The Mission Failed screen displays, Owls selects ‘Restart From Last Checkpoint’, and the game loads at the doorway to the pillar room. _

_ New Objective, Enter the Stellar Galleries, displays briefly on the right side of the screen.] _

C: [laughs] You are amazingly good at finding the button you need to push.

_ [Autobot Security System: Initiating defense grid. _

_ New Objective, “Disable the security system,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen. _

_ Soundwave: Megatron -- those batteries feed the security grid. _

_ Megatron: Quickly! Infuse the batteries with Dark Energon!] _

O: Yeah, I'm actually suffering from that right now.

_ [Megatron jumps over to the battery platform on his left and plants a detpak on it.] _

C: I think you- I think Specs nailed like 75% of anything we needed to interact with.

S: I don't know, it's a talent, I guess?

C: [laughs]

_ [Megatron jumps over to the battery platform across from the entrance and plants a detpak on it as well. He then turns around and bashes a health chest to get health before jumping to the last battery platform, but before he lands, Breakdown runs over and plants a Detpak on the battery and it explodes.] _

S: Maybe you're supposed to shoot something? Maybe?

C: I think she just needed to go over and hit the computer.

_ [The lasers deactivate, and the middle pillar is now covered in Dark Energon and little bits of purple electricity are coming off it and the three battery packs. _

_ Autobot Security System: Security measures deactivated. _

_ Megatron: Soundwave. Damage report. _

_ Soundwave: Scans show minimal damage.] _

C: Looks like it’s off now.

O: Yup.

S: Oh, that’s good.

C: So, that’s good.

_ [New Objective, “Find the Omega Key,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen. _

_ The blue energon on the floor has also disappeared- Megatron jumps down to the floor and the party leaves through a newly opened door.] _

O: Yeah, I had to- I had to, you know, put my Space Crack all up in it. That’s what I had to do. Mmm-hm. Mmm-hm. Seems legit.

_ [The party walks down a hallway that opens up into a long room. Across the room a weapon chest is visible.] _

O: And now I literally do not care about any other gun, because I have the two I want.

_ [Sentry guns on the walls to the left begin firing at the party, who fire back. _

_ Megatron: Now...time for more strategic slaughter!] _

C: How do you think Starscream would feel about him using his gun?

O: How do you think he got it?

S: He might find it hot?

O: [laughs] There we go, yeah.

C: [laughs]

_ [Two Autobots also begin firing on the party, who make quick work of them.] _

S: It’s like, obviously this is the hottest thing.

O: I mean the only thing hotter is him using Megatron, right?

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs]

_ [The Autobots destroyed, Megatron walks around the room, destroying weapon chests and picking up ammo. _

_ Soundwave: Megatron, our data indicates that the Omega Key is located just beyond that door. _

_ Megatron: Excellent! This venture has proven far less taxing than I had anticipated.] _

C: Now that would be a fun part of a game, if in multiplayer Megatron could turn into a gun and other people could use him.

_ [Breakdown: Are you serious? I’m feelin’ pretty taxed, myself.] _

O: That would be weird but…

S: That could be... kind of weird-

C: [laughs]

S: Actually, I’m wondering what that sort of…

C: Well, I don’t know it’s just-

S: Like, would other people have the ability to actually shoot you or would you still have control of the shooting?

C: No, I think- I think they would just move and you would shoot.

S: That could be interesting.

O: [laugh] That would be interesting.

S: Like, it might give you a powerup or something?

C: Yeah.

O: I will see that and raise you, imagine trying to have to control a combiner between three people.

C: That would be fun!

S: Oh god, five people.

O: Yeah, no-no-no, I know- I know but- but like, if you could- had to limit it or something so there were only 3 players.

C: Yeah.

O: Um, I just think it sounds funny.

_ [Megatron walks over to a large doorway where Breakdown and Soundwave are standing and destroys the door with Dark Energon. The party walks forward into a large room centered around a floating sphere (presumably a model of Cybertron), with smaller circular bodies orbiting it. To the left and right there are staircases that wind their way up the wall. _

_ Soundwave: The Autobots maintain these rooms for tranquil contemplation.] _

S: Honestly, it's reminds me of that game like um,  [ QWOP ](http://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html) , I think?

C: Yeah.

_ [Breakdown: Tranquil contemplation? What does that even mean?] _

S: Basically where you have to control each of the limbs with uh, um…

C: Q, W, O, P.

_ [Megatron: It means the Autobots laze about and whine over their own inadequacies. Ugh… what a waste of time and resources. Decepticons! Find the Omega Key!] _

S: Yeah, or there's a similar game where you have to control a horse.

O: [snorts]

S: Or a unicorn and often it just flops.

C: Yeah, you’re lucky if you can do anything with it.

_ [Megatron jumps on a nearby platform and begins shooting some of the small spheres orbiting the model.] _

O: Apparently Megaton is, in fact, petty enough to shoot these things.

C: Yeah, what- what- is that-

O: He's like, “They're all wimps! They have a meditation room, how dare they have that!”

C: Ah!

_ [Megatron begins running up the staircase on his left.] _

S: Oh, I was under the impression that they were like, ads.

C: He-

O: [laughs]

_ [Megatron jumps off the stairs and roams around the first floor of the room some more looking for any missed items. Not finding anything else, he looks up and continues shooting spheres as he walks back over to the stairs.] _

C: “Megatron hates ads!”

S: Or at least that’s what I was thinking.

O: [continues laughing]

C: “Oil change at Sparky’s? I’ll show you oil change!”

O: [continues laughing] Goddammit.

C: “This is for interrupting my SpaceTube episode!”

O: “It was from SPACE!” [laughs] I do love that idea, I love the idea of it being uh, of- those being like, pop up ads, that’s way funnier.

_ [Megatron walks back up the stairs arriving on a platform with Breakdown and Soundwave. To the right is a console. _

_ Megatron: Behold, Decepticons! The Omega Key!] _

C: Yeah, Specs, that’s amazing.

S: I mean, honestly- [laughs] You're welcome, it's just, Cybertron seems like the sort of place where you would have pop-up ads everywhere.

O: Yeah!

C: [laughs]

O: Also, apparently the Omega Key was just here, in this room.

C: What? In the room with all the space pop-ups?!

S: [laughs]

O: Yes.

C: They didn’t even know they’d come-

S: Well, but maybe they’re representations of the moons? In which case, it looks like there's an awful lot of Cybertronian moons.

_ [Megatron walks over to the console and activates it. The reddish-orange forcefield around a small floating orb in front of the console drops, and the sphere opens, revealing nothing inside but the indent of where a key should be. _

_ Breakdown: Wow. That is one empty container.] _

O: [snorts] Thanks, Breakdown.

_ [A hologram of Zeta Prime appears above the empty key container. The camera pans around behind him as he points at Megatron. _

_ Zeta Prime: Megatron, I’m warning you right now. You are toying with forces beyond your understanding or control.] _

O: What is it with Primes and their chins?

_ [Megatron: Ah, Zeta Prime. I see you’re still afraid to face me in person.] _

C: I was thinking the same thing.

S: Maybe they based it off of, um, Animated? Cuz that was one chin-tastic animation.

_ [Zeta Prime: Ha! Predictable as ever, right down to the empty words. The Omega Key is under MY protection now, Megatron.] _

O: Yeah, Animated is just chin-tastic all the way through, let’s be honest.

S: Yeah.

O: But Sentinel had like, the chinny- the most chin-tastic chin out of all of the chins. [laughs]

S: The chinniest chin chin chin.

C & O: [laugh]

_ [Megatron: That is hardly a deterrent. I will enjoy taking the Omega Key from your lifeless hands.] _

O: Oh, you have it, so I just have to kill you to get it, cool. [laughs]

_ [A variety of Autobot enemies appear and a fight ensues. _

_ New Objective, “Defeat Autobot ambushers,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.] _

C: [laughs] “Right, wait- that's not what you're supposed to think!”

S: Oh no-

O: “You’re supposed to be like,  _ Oh no, that sounds difficult! _ ”

S: And Megatron's just like, “Oh, you're challenging me?”

O: “-BIIITCH!”

S: Congratulations! You’re dead!

C: What a terrible case of me murdering you, you seem to have come down with.

O & S: [laugh]

_ [Megatron: [laughs] For glory! _

_ Megatron is on the stairway, shooting the various Autobots with the Null Ray, and taking them down in rapid succession.] _

O: Oh yes, please just- just stand there let me shoot you, that- that's my favorite thing, yes.

C: Man, Owls makes this look easy.

S: Yeah.

_ [To the left of the screen some Autobots begin to fire on Megatron who runs behind a pillar to continue shooting.] _

O: Ah!

C: I remember these doggone flying guys in the first chapter and I had no idea what to do.

S: Yeah... Actually, now I'm wondering what like, Megatron's preferred scent would be or if Cybertronians even have like, fragrance preferences?

O: [deep voice] “Ah, yes, the scent of motor oil-”

C: A couple of them reference their ‘olfactory sensors’ so they must have some kind of scent.

O: Yeah, they- they clearly can smell but that’s like- yeah, what scents do they like? I mean, like, humans seem to like flowers, or the smell of rain, what do Cybertronians like?

C: Crop rust!

S: I mean, honestly, would rust smell like the beach to them considering the Sea of Rust?

O: I- considering rust is usually seen as a bad thing, I’m gonna say it wouldn’t have the same connotations.

S: Mmm.

_ [Megatron shoots an Aerialbot, and the Aerialbot goes flying in a different direction than the momentum of the shot before exploding.] _

O: Pfft, that was a weird direction to take that, but okay.

S: Yeah, I mean-

C: So, the Sea of Rust is actually like, a beach of rust?

_ [Megatron heads down the stairs to his left, before jumping off and landing on the bottom floor. He is low on ammo, completely out of Fusion Cannon shots, and has 11 Null Ray shots left.] _

S: Maybe not? The problem is I'm not entirely sure if it's considered like a wasteland or…

O: A destination, as it were.

S: Yeah.

C: [chuckles] Like a destination in your mind?

O: Well, I mean like, a vacation destination kind of thing.

C: Oh, oh.

S: Yeah.

O: I-I yeah, I really don’t know-

_ [Soundwave: Autobots, incoming! _

_ A door in front of Megatron explodes, revealing 2 of the large Autobots carrying machine guns from the first level.] _

O: Oh fuck- NO. NO. YOU.

C: Wha-

O:  **YOU!**

_ [Megatron takes cover behind a pillar and shoots at the Autobots.] _

S: You need to reload.

C: Are those guys bad?

O: We died against them so many times in the first chapter!

C: Oh! Right, right, right.

_ [Megatron transforms and drives up the stairs in tank mode. _

_ Megatron: I shall lead the way!] _

O: That's great, but we're gonna do it from higher ground, buddy.

_ [Megatron goes up the stairs before transforming back to robot mode. He takes cover behind a pillar, shooting at the large Autobots down below, taking out one of them.] _

S: I mean, maybe different metals have different scents?

O: Or minerals?

_ [Megatron runs out of ammo in his two guns. Transforming he goes back down the stairs and takes aim at the last remaining Autobot in while in vehicle mode. He shoots once, hitting an explosive barrel near the Autobot and killing him.] _

S: Yeah, I don't know, maybe the Autobots would find more organic notes more interesting because they'd have- it would be exotic and they're more used to those. Whereas Decepticons might be- might prefer um, more metallic scents. I don’t know.

C: I would say Tungsten would be-

S: [laughs]

_ [Megatron: Soundwave, trace Zeta Prime’s broadcast signal. _

_ Soundwave: Commencing scan… Complete. Its origin is 12.7 cycles ahead. _

_ Megatron runs over to the maintenance door Soundwave and Breakdown are standing by.] _

O: Wow- wow, he wasn't even trying to hide himself if Soundwave could do it  _ that _ quickly!

S: Yeah.

_ [Soundwave: Scans reveal poor structural integrity surrounding this maintenance access door. _

_ Megatron: You heard him! Blast the wall! _

_ New Objective, “Proceed to the lower city,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.] _

O: Smash it, you say? [laughs]

_ [Megatron smashes the door and runs through.] _

S:  _ Oh~ _

_ [Megatron walks over to an ammo chest and smashes it.] _

O: Oh, thank fuck.

_ [Soundwave: Megatron -- the city subsystems provide a direct line to the broadcat’s origin. _

_ The group enters a dark tunnel with a vaguely green tint. Up ahead, on the right, there is another maintenance door. This door is held in place by locks, which Megatron destroys before knocking the door down.] _

C: Alright, alright, so, we're in greenlight mode now.

O: [quietly] There we go...

S: Yeah, and I don't much like it because… meh.

C: Megatron, meanwhile-

_ [The other side of the maintenance door reveals a large pillar with slowly blades spinning on multiple levels. The room goes down quite a ways, with several sets of blades below the party and blue energon below that.] _

O: Oh, look! More things that want to kill us!

C: -demonstrates that he, uh, doesn’t properly know how to open doors.

_ [Megatron: Descend here. And have a care -- one wrong step, and you’re scrap metal. _

_ Megatron jumps off his current level, landing on the next set of blades below.] _

O: Well, he was born in a mine, why would he use doors?

C: [laughs]

_ [Megatron jumps down another level, and waits as the blade slowly moves towards a maintenance door on the opposite wall. _

_ Breakdown: Uh… not that I’m arguing or anything, but -- why don’t we just go back to the dropship and hitch a ride? _

_ Megatron: This is the shortest distance to travel, Breakdown.] _

O: [laughs]

S: Okay, who would design this like this?

C: [laughs]

S: Like, seriously, that’s a door!

_ [Megatron shoots the maintenance door and jumps through, landing in another dimly lit hallway.] _

C & O: [laugh]

O: It- maybe it was a maintenance door or something? I don’t know. [laughs]

S: Maybe…

_ [The party walks up a stairwell at the end of the hallway, which leads up to a closed door.] _

C: Oh, the- the coffee room?

O: [laughs]

C: It’s down- it’s down the pillar of evil fan death. Death fan.

O: [continues laughing] You can either take the stairs or you can brave the f- fans of death, but if you miss them you will die. How much do you want your coffee?

_ [The door opens and party continues through and up another set of stairs before running into an Autobot using a console on the wall. A fight ensues. _

_ Autobot: Decepticon intruders! They’re inside the city!] _

S: It's too exciting, I’ll do without coffee.

C: [laughs]

_ [Megatron: Into the tunnel, Decepticons. And try not to get crushed by the trains. _

_ Megatron takes out the Autobot and the party walks out onto a platform inside of a much larger tunnel.] _

S: Oh, trains? Is this their mass transit system?

_ [Breakdown: You’re joking, right? _

_ Megatron: Yes, Breakdown -- I am famous for my sparkling sense of humor. Now GET MOVING, before I dismantle you myself!] _

O: [laughs] “I’m known for my sparkling sense of humor.”

S: Oh, it’s mass transit system time…

C: [laughs]

S: ...with mines.

_ [The large tunnel is indeed revealed to be some kind of mass transit system. In front of the party the tunnel descends deeper underground. A train running on the ceiling passes by overhead. Rolling spherical mines are scattered throughout the floor of the tunnel. Megatron transforms and begins heading down the tunnel. Soundwave and Breakdown manage to stay ahead of him.] _

C: It's a pity Megatron is a tank, while everyone else is a travelling vehicle.

O: Right? Like, they’re so much faster than me and I don't  _ just _ think it's because they’re computer AI’s.

_ [The party continues down the tunnel, which is also, for not explainable reason, littered with ramps. _

_ Breakdown: Whoa! Watch out! _

_ More trains pass overhead, the party enters a party of the tunnel with transparent walls. Other trains are seen running in the distance, along with a lot of exposed piping.] _

S: I'm honestly sort of amused that Soundwave is faster.

O: I mean… it- he is a vehicle in this one.

_ [There are also a few sets of pillars with laser sensors running between them. Megatron jumps off a ramp and manages to hit one, causing some guns to pop out of the wall and shoot at him with missiles.] _

S: I know, but considering that his most well known iterations aren’t vehicles, it's just- I always just find it really funny.

C: It’s like that scene in Beast Wars, “For the Predacon Alliance!”

O: [laughs]

C: Turns into a tape deck.

O: Oh, Ravage, I love you.

_ [The party continues onwards, until their tunnel meets up with another one. Ahead of them a train moves across from right to left and two trains go past them on the ceiling. Megatron turns on the new tracks, following Breakdown and Soundwave who are still ahead of him.] _

O: Oh dear, I remember this. I died.

C: [laughs]

_ [Megatron: Onward! Through that door! _

_ A smaller tunnel branches off the main one to the left. Megatron transforms into robot mode and looks around, nearly getting hit by a train from behind before entering the dark tunnel.] _

C: That’s some really good advice, don't get hit by a train.

O: Right? I'm like, Megatron did not listen to his own advice the first time I played through this level, I don't think! [laughs]

S: And we're back to the green.

O: Yeahhhhh, Cybertron’s a dark, dark place, Specs.

S: Ehhhh…

C: [laughs]

_ [Megatron heads left at a fork in the tunnel, and walks over and picks up some ammo. _

_ Megatron: A brilliant addition to my efforts!] _

O: Megatron, I- do you say that every time you pick up ammo? And like, I don't mean out loud. I mean to  _ yourself. _ [laughs]

S: He very well could.

_ [To the right a doorway can be seen on other side of the room through a hole in the wall. Megatron heads back the way he came, heading down the right fork and smashing a weapon’s chest on his way.] _

O: [quietly] I don’t know why I’m hitting this-

S: He likes to talk to himself.

O: He just likes to talk. [laughs]

C: [laughs]

_ [Megatron continues down the hallway, coming to door he’d seen through the wall. _

_ Breakdown: It’s no use, Megatron! The door’s locked! _

_ Megatron: A simple solution, then. Break the locks! _

_ Megatron tries to shoot the door and hit it with his melee attack, but neither do anything. He attempts to aim at the red targets, but nothing happens and he heads back up the hallway to the hole the door was visible through before.] _

O: We’ve got to go around.

C: I was gonna say, I was like, “What?”

S: You have to shoot through something?

O: Yeah, but I- I think I have to go over here and shoot something. Yeah.

C: Oh, of course you have to go to the other side of the door to open the locks on the door.

_ [Megatron shoots the locks through the hole, destroying them and the door.] _

C: Why don't you just climb through there [the hole]?!

_ [Megatron: Blow open that door!] _

O: [deep voice] “We're not savages!”

S: I mean…

O: [laughs]

_ [Megatron transforms and drives back over to the doorway, jumping down into the room below where Breakdown and Soundwave are waiting.] _

S: We’ve got to be polite, got to knock first and  _ then _ we open- then we go through.

O: Megatron’s idea of knocking is two Fusion Cannon blasts, through the door! I mean, don’t you know anything? [laughs]

_ [Megatron: Move to that exit! NOW!] _

C: You do not want the  _ third. _

O & S: [laugh]

_ [Breakdown: Uh, Megatron...] _

O: The third goes into your head.

_ [Soundwave: Autobot cloakers, present. _

_ Megatron: Quickly! Infuse the batteries with Dark Energon! _

_ Invisible enemies begin firing on the party.] _

S: Yeah…

O: Seems legit.

_ [Quest icons appear over three consoles in the room. Megatron fires back at the Autobots firing at the party.] _

S: Oh, I think- yeah, it looks like you need to um…

C: Shoot everything!

O: Uh, when don’t I?

C: [laughs]

_ [Megatron continues to shoot at enemies.] _

S: I mean, did you activate the... thing [console]?

O: No, because I'm trying to kill the things that are shooting at me!

S: Good point.

_ [A cloaker uncloaks on top of a nearby platform. Megatron fires off several shots, missing, but the cloaker continues to stand out in the open.] _

C: That guys really content to just stand there.

S: Yeah.

_ [Megatron finally kills the cloaker and then runs over to one of the indicated consoles, planting a detpak on it.] _

C: We believe in you, Owls.

S: Yeah.

O: Thank you, I’m not sure if I believe in me.

_ [A health chest is visible in the distance, across an area enemies are currently firing on.] _

O: I want that health over there though! [laughs]

C: Classic shooter dilema.

_ [Megatron continues to fire, ducking in and out of cover. Soundwave walks over and begins healing him.] _

O: Oh, Soundwave, you're a beautiful bastard!

S: He is earning his keep today.

_ [Megatron: Hurry! Destroy the batteries!] _

O: Soundwave always earns his keep in my opinion. Soundwave could be having an off day, and he’d still be more useful than half the Cons.

S: Oh, yeah.

_ [The party takes out several enemies clustered around one of the consoles, before Megatron runs over and plants a Detpak on it.] _

S: But in this iteration he doesn't have, um, offensive features, or combat features.

O: I know you meant ‘off-fen-sive’ but my brain totally just heard he- he’s ‘o-ffen-sive’ somehow. As in like, bad.

_ [The last of the cloakers are destroyed. _

_ Megatron: Excellent work, Soundwave. Now unlock the exit door.] _

C: No, that’s clearly uh, the Soundwave from Animated.

S: [laughs]

O: He was fine!

C: [laughs]

O: He was fine!

C: He had the most catchy, annoying theme-

O: Like, no, I didn’t like him as much as other Soundwaves, but I liked him anyway.

_ [Megatron walks around the room, looking for any items and then heads over to the health chest and retrieves the health. He then walks over to a console and activates it, opening a door in front of the group. _

_ Megatron: MOVE, Decepticons! Double-time!] _

C: He was pretty funky fresh.

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs] Goddammit.

_ [Megatron transforms into vehicle mode and drives down a stairway, arriving at a platform in the same (or similar to) the large tunnel from before. He grabs some nearby ammo. _

_ Breakdown: Hey Soundwave, you wanna race? _

_ Soundwave: Negative.] _

C: Alright, so Megatron-

S: So is it time for trains- sorry.

C: Oh no, go ahead.

S: Is it time for trains again?

C: It might be.

_ [Megatron transforms into vehicle mode and follows Soundwave and Breakdown into the descending tunnel. The features from the last tunnel go around are still present, there are spherical rolling mines, ramps, movement sensors, and trains passing over head.] _

C: Oh, no just mines of death.

O: Ah, I mean those- those were there in the last go around too.

S: Yeah, more trains!

C: [laughs]

S: The Cybertronian um, transit system is…

_ [Large flashing red warnings appear on the right and left just before a train passes in front of Megatron. He uses a ramp, jumping over the moving train.] _

O: What does that mean? That doesn’t-

C: Whose idea do you think it was to put all these ramps down here?

_ [Megatron: Don’t get hit by the train, you fool!] _

O: [snorts] Megatron! We are far more likely to get hit by a train than either of your subordinates because I’m the one in the driv- the one behind the steering wheel!

_ [Megatron hits a mine before taking another ramp to avoid the next train.] _

O: Um, obviously they’re for maintenance bots, honey.

_ [The tunnel ahead ends abruptly with a crashed train in the center. The party diverts from the tracks to a smaller ramp on the right. _

_ Megatron: There -- that station. From there we can infiltrate the lower levels of Iacon.] _

O: Well, they're obviously for getting over those trains that are perpendicular to you.

C: [laughs]

_ [Breakdown: What -- that’s it? I was kind of having fun. In a high speed, suicidal kind of way.] _

C: They were probably like, “Well, we could dig safety maintenance tunnels, you know, to go under the trains,” and they were like, “No, you fool! Ramps! Ramps are the way to go!”

O: RAMPS! [laughs]

_ [The party heads up some stairs, exiting to an open air area. Bridges, buildings, and various pipes all loom overhead. In front of them are two sets of train tracks. _

_ Soundwave: Megatron --Omega Key detected. We should proceed through the logistics station.] _

S: They’re much sexier.

_ [Megatron: Excellent! The Omega Key awaits!] _

O: [laughs]

C: It'll be awesome! We’ll get all the- all the Cybertronian chicks, all two of them!

O & S: [laugh]

_ [A train passes in front of the party on the tracks nearest to them. _

_ Soundwave: Megatron -- sensors indicate approaching Autobot energy signatures. _

_ New Objective, “Pass through the lower city,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.] _

S: Get all the hot jets.

C: [laughs]

_ Megatron: Decepticons -- ready your weaponry for battle!] _

O: Yeah, yeah, yeah, the- the jets are the ones they’re trying to uh,  _ allure, _ my dear.

C: Oh, okay.

_ [A bunch of Autobots pop out of hiding and begin firing at the party, who fire back. More trains sporadically pass by on the two tracks.] _

S: I wonder how many of the trains might actually be other transformers who are like, so done with the firefight in their workplace.

O: [laughs]

C: That’s a good point!

_ [The first wave of Autobots are destroyed and another group, this time with energon shields fall jump down from above.] _

O: I mean, to be fair, we only know of like- the only time we’ve every really seen train Transformers was uh, in uh-

C: Astrotrain?

_ [Megatron takes cover behind a box and begins sniping the Autobots. More trains cross by in front of him.] _

O: Well-

S: Well, yes, there's Astrotrain and then there's the three of them from Car Robots in the original RID.

[ **Note:** Transformers: Robots in Disguise, 2001, was called Transformers: Car Robots in Japan. We frequently use the Japanese name to get across what we’re saying quicker because in the US there’s not less than  **three goddamn things** using the title ‘Robots in Disguise’.]

O: Yeah, I mostly meant like, working train ro- like, robots that worked as trains.

C: Oh.

S: Which is-

O: Is what I’m trying to get across there.

S: Which is the three from um, Car Robots.

O: Yeah.

S: Cuz they like, abandon- at least one of them abandons like, a group of passengers in a tunnel to go in fight ah, Decepticons or Predacons.

C: Oh wow.

S: You know, I kind of want to see what would happen if an Autobot who was shielded was just in there when a train comes through.

C: [laughs]

O: Right? [laughs]

C: Maybe we’ll get lucky, I keep waiting for it.

O: And that’s how I died, by being crushed!

_ [Megatron suddenly dies and the game briefly goes to the ‘Mission Failed’ screen before the game loads back at the stairway leading up to the outdoor station.] _

O: Oh! Okay…

C: Whoa, what happened?

O: I don't know, somebody hit me.

_ [New Objective, “Pass through the lower city,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.] _

C: From our perspective uh, I’d say it looked like you were winning.

S: Yeah.

O: [quietly] To a certain degree of winning. [normal volume] All right, come out, come out wherever you are, so I can shoot you.

_ [Megatron walks forward just enough to get the Autobots to come out of hiding before taking cover behind another box.] _

S: It’s train time. Unfortunately, you- we can't get in the trains. Oh.

_ [Megatron snipes enemies. _

_ Megatron: All shall fall before Megatron!] _

O: Uh-huh, uh-huh, that’s nice, buddy.

C: [laughs]

S: His ego requires it.

_ [Megatron: Only fools stand against Megatron!] _

O: Look, I’m just saying, riding shotgun with this character just involves me being like, “Uh-huh, uh-huh, that’s nice.”

_ [The second wave of Autobots jump down after the first wave of Autobots are dispatched.] _

C: Oh, you can’t see [your] health when you’re in the zoomed in mode. [When using the sniper rifle scope.]

S: Yeah.

C: That might have been what confused us.

S: Maybe. Or maybe your character, maybe Megatron just ended up on the tracks?

O: I don’t think so, I was back behind the box.

_ [The last of the second wave are destroyed, when a third wave of Autobots run down stairs on the other side of the station.] _

O: Goddammit, how many of there are you!?

S: Uh… a lot?

O: A lot, yeah!

_ [Megatron continues sniping.] _

C: A lot of Autobots were really unhappy with their life and wanted a quick death.

O: And I’m providing it for them, got it. [laughs] Megatron’s providing a  _ service. _

_ [Megatron moves closer to the last Autobot killing him and clearing the room. The Autobot cries out rather loudly when he’s shot.] _

O: [imitating the Autobot] Blaaargh! Blah, I say!

_ [Megatron walks around picking up ammo and other enemy drops before heading over the train tracks towards the other stairway.] _

O: [sighs] Oh, jesus. Alright.

C: I remember being a kid and playing games and like, things like running across the railroad tracks always freaked me out.

O: Were you afraid of the trains squishing you?

C: I don’t know why.

S: I mean… trains are dangerous.

_ [Megatron runs up the steps into a tunnel, and heads to his left. Ahead of him the wall explodes and a sparking cylindrical object is sticking out of a newly created hole. _

_ Breakdown: Take cover! _

_ Megatron: Steady yourself, coward. I marked this area for Dark Energon bombers. _

_ Breakdown: Are you insane?!? I mean… yes, brilliant, Megatron! _

_ The party heads to the left, an open area that is currently the grounds of a large firefight is visible in the distance.] _

O: [laughs] That- that inflection was- was amazing. Thank you, thank you Knockout.

S: Breakdown?

O: Breakdown, yeah, sorry. I blame Chezni, he was talking about Knockout earlier!

C: Yup, it’s my fault.

O: ~ _ Always! _

_ [Megatron stops and snipes some of the visible enemies ahead, before the area’s bombed with Dark Energon.] _

O: I don’t know why I’m wasting my ammo when they're just going to get bombed with Dark Energon. Meagtron, should- should I ask how you got this much Dark- I- I know we- I know supplied you with Dark Energon, but you had- you had enough to make Energon- Dark Energon bombers? Really?!

_ [The party continues on, fallen Autobots litter the ground and the way forward is blocked by a pile of rubble. _

_ Megatron: Perfect! Soon Iacon will be no more than a thick layer of rubble! _

_ Breakdown: The wreckage is in our way, Megatron.] _

S: I don’t know, maybe it's-

_ [Soundwave: Megatron -- the debris scans as stable enough to support our weight. _

_ Megatron jumps on the debris before jumping up into another tunnel.] _

S: Maybe it turns into exponential growth at some point? That would make it easier…

O: Nah, he just wants an easy supply of Space Crack. Definitely that.

S: Yeah...

_ [Breakdown: Hey! There’s Autobots unloading off the train! _

_ Megatron: Leave no Autobot alive! _

_ The party exits into another large room. They are standing on a platform, below there are some stopped trains and several Autobots. The party begins firing on them. _

_ Megatron: Fall before Megatron!] _

O: I don’t know why you felt the need to say that Megs, we never leave any Autobots alive.

_ [Breakdown: Okay, what needs doing?] _

S: He just wants to you-

C: He won’t let us-

S: [laughs] Sorry.

C: Oh no, I just gonna say, you won't let us open the doors until we kill them all.

S: Yeah…

O: For some reason! (Soundwave being incredibly petty.)

_ [Megatron attempts to shoot a distant Autobot, but the Autobot isn’t getting hit despite Megatron being on target. The camera pulls out as he reloads, and it’s apparent the shots have clipped into a nearby wall instead. He backs up and shoots the Autobot, finally destroying them. _

O: I was like, “Why isn’t that working?

_ [Megatron: Blast those Aerialbots! _

_ Aerialbots fly in from above.] _

O: Oh, goody.

C: Yeah, the odd clipping on the box.

S: It’s the Aerialbots again. I don't think they're a combiner in this one or maybe not, maybe they are, I don't know.

O: No, these are- that's just what they call any flying Autobots I’ve noticed.

S: Oh, that’s...

O: I know, not confusing at all, but…

S: Yeah, not a fan.

_ [The Aerialbots fly over the party dropping bombs as the party attempts to fire back.] _

C: So wait, what did they call them in this one?

O: Well, they're just called Aerialbots because they can fly.

_ [The last Autobot is destroyed, and the party jumps down from their platform. _

_ Soundwave: Megatron -- I have detected the Omega Key. It lies beyond the train tunnel. _

_ Megatron: Move out, Decepticons! _

_ Megatron smashes some item chests, grabbing a nearby shield.] _

S: It's just a generic term for flying Autobot instead of what it was in the cart- the G1 cartoon was- well, and in the comics- they were a combiner team who combined into uh… well.

O: Superion?

S: Yep.

C: Oh, and they were specifically called the Aerialbots?

O: Yeah.

S: Yes.

C: Gotcha.

S: Because they were planes.

O: And because so few of the- the Autobots really flew too, that was kind of distinct.

S: Yup.

_ [Megatron runs up some ramps and does some light platforming to reach Soundwave and Breakdown who are standing off to the left of some train tracks. He then transforms and follows the tracks into a tunnel. Ahead of him several red notices pop up in an alien text and he drives into a little area off the tracks to his left, returning to bot mode. A train passes by on the tracks. _

_ Megatron: Stay on the tracks -- if you want to get smashed to pieces!] _

O: I feel like he’s having way to much fun with that…

S: I think he is too.

_ [Megatron transforms back into tank mode and drives up to another small area off the main tracks, this time on the right side of the tunnel. He transforms back to bot mode. _

_ Soundwave: Scans reveal poor structural integrity surrounding this maintenance access door. _

_ Megatron smashes the maintenance door in the floor with his mace and falls to the floor below when it breaks. _

_ New Objective, “Approach the Iacon Vaults,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen. _

_ (COM) Brawl: Starscream! This is Brawl! We’re pinned down outside Zeta Prime’s vaults! We need air support!] _

O: Hey, there’s Brawl!

_ [Megatron: Excellent! Brawl is already near the Omega Key! _

_ Megatron walks forward and activate a console that is directly in front of him that opens a door on his right. The party heads out the door and up some stairs, when they near the top something smashes through the ceiling in the room ahead, followed by an explosion.] _

O: Yeah, that looks healthy.

C: Now they’re going to have to patch the roof.

O: I mean, Megatron I think, just wants to you know, start from ground zero I-I don't think- I don’t think- I think he just wants to redecorate by rebuilding, to be honest.

C: Big skylight.

S: Yeah.

_ [The party runs reaches the top, taking a left up a smaller flight of stairs, and Megatron shots an Autobot ahead that has his back to them. The party then runs over to a large window. There is a firefight going on outside, and the party fires on the Autobots. _

_ Megatron: Autobots fall so easily!] _

S: He takes a decidedly ballistic approach to redecoration.

O: [laughs] Yes!

C: That's well phrased.

O: Megatron doesn’t know the meaning of  _ redecorating _ , he’s just going to  _ renovate. _

S: Yup.

_ [The party follows the walkway to their left, taking out another Autobot. _

_ Breakdown: Look! They’ve got Brawl outnumbered down there!] _

C: What on Earth…?

_ [In an in-game cinematic it cuts to the floor of the area outside the windows from where the party is. Six Autobots all pile on top of an enemy, before revealing they were attacking Brawl as he throws them all off at once.] _

C: “They're eating him! Then they're gonna eat me! OH MY GOD!”

A: [laugh]

O: I think that’s Brawl just doin’- doin’ his thing- doin’ his thing down there.

S: Yeah.

C: Right, right, got it.

_ [The continue to follow the walkway, leading more into the interior of whatever building/structure they are in and run into one of the large Autobots with shields.] _

C: That guy's got a big shield because he's just saying, “Please shoot me in the back!”

O: Right? Not, you know, “I'm gonna put some extra shielding on my back!,” it’s gotta all be on the front.

_ [The Autobot is primarily focused on Soundwave as Megatron is going back and forth attempting to shoot the Autobot in his weak point on his back.] _

O: Will you explode already?

C: He's trying.

_ [Megatron gets a few more shoots into the Autobot who finally explodes.] _

O: [laughs] Well, tell him to try faster!

S: [laughs] Try harder to explode.

_ [Continuing ahead the party encounters two Autobots with the glowy barriers that are taken out relatively quickly.] _

O: [nasally voice] Tell them to explode faster, Chezni!

C: All right, but I don't think he’ll listen.

O: [laughs] Does anyone ever listen in this [game]?

_ [Megatron grabs some ammo, and heads towards the next room. A wall explodes in front of the party and a glowy barrier Autobot on the other side begins throwing grenades at them.] _

C: Umm... Soundwave- er, not Soundwave, Starscream.

S: [snickers]

O: I don’t think Starscream listens either.

C: He uh, did in that first episode with- when he had his tail between his legs.

_ [Another glowy Autobot joins the first and Megatron backs up swapping to his Null Ray and taking one of them out. _

_ Megatron: All shall fall before Megatron!] _

C: “What's that, Lord Megatron?” “Yes, of course, Lord Megatron!”

O: [laughs]

C: “Let me go off and get you that Dark Energon right no- right away, Lord Megatron!”

S: He was very intent on that booty call.

_ [The other Autobot is shortly dispatched and the party continues ahead. They come out to a room with a large hole in the wall ahead of them. An Autobot is standing on the edge with his back to them, but is quickly dispatched.] _

O: Yeah, he was- he was turned on, also who the fuck is banging out there!?

C: It’s Cream, er, our cat.

O: I- I thought it was coming from the wall!

C: No.

O: Either that or we’ve got multiple banging going on here, but Cream is very insistent to be out here. [laughs]

_ [The party takes up the position vacated by the Autobot and Megatron begins sniping all the visible Autobots.] _

O: Cream is not out here, cuz otherwise you would be hearing her over the mic giving me headbutts.

S: [laughs]

_ [Breakdown: Snipers! Across the street!] _

O: This isn’t an exaggeration, she just does that. And I love it- it's adorable just not when I'm on a headset, like when I'm at  _ work! _

_ [Megatron: None can resist us! _

_ The snipers across the street are hastily dealt with and Megatron runs over to the edge of the platform he and Soundwave are still on.] _

O: Is that it? You guys were making a big deal about snipers, is that all the snipers there were?

C: “Oh no, there’s snipers!”

O: Oh no?

S: Well, I mean there’s still s- that dude.

_ [Megatron looks down and snipes the one lone Autobot visible below.] _

C: [laughs]

_ [He shoots another Autobot.] _

O: It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, literally! [laughs]

S: You're in a very good spot for that.

_ [Soundwave: Megatron -- the area is now clear. _

_ Megatron: Let us speak with Brawl, then. I want to hear how my war is going.] _

O: [snorts] Pharsing? [laughs] Okay.

_ [Megatron jumps down and checks the nearby nooks and crannies for items, picking up a shield in the process. _

_ (COM) Brawl: Waiting for your orders, Megatron...] _

O: Hey Brawl, how’s the explosions?

_ [Megatron runs over to a Decepticon standing on a platform in the middle the area.] _

O: Are you Brawl? No you’re not. Where is Brawl?

_ [Megatron turns to his left and heads towards where the quest marker is indicating.] _

O: Probably where the blue arrow is indicating, huh? [laughs]

C: “I am generic cep- Decepticon 75.”

O: [coughs and then laughs] “I am honored you thought I was Brawl, however!”

_ [Megatron smashes an ammo chest and walks over to the stairs Brawl is standing on. _

_ Brawl: Lord Megatron! _

_ Megatron: Report, Brawl. _

_ Brawl: The Autobots are dug in and our precious air commander won’t provide support!] _

O: [snorts]

_ [Megatron: Enough excuses! Where is Zeta Prime?] _

O: [laughs] Color me surprised! Shocked even!

_ [Brawl: He’s just beyond those doors, Lord Megatron! _

_ Megatron: Witness the power of Dark Energon! _

_ Megatron walks over to some large stairs on his left and uses Dark Energon when prompted.] _

C: So, is it only through the power of Dark Energon that they've been able to just do all this and kind of… hack Cybertron?

O: I think? Maybe?

_ [Nothing happens. _

_ Megatron: Impossible! _

_ A large hologram of Zeta Prime materializes in front of the door. _

_ Zeta Prime: It will take more than a speck of Dark Energon to breach the armor of our Vaults.] _

C: OHHHHHH!

O: [laughs]

_ [Zeta Prime: Surrender now, Megatron and I will consider sparing your life.] _

C: OHHHHHH!

_ [Megatron: You dare threaten me!?! ME?!? _

_ Megatron shoots at hologram, ineffectively.] _

C & O: [laugh]

_ [Zeta Prime: So be it, Megatron. I leave you to your own… futility.] _

S: You know, his helmet is surprisingly Galvatron shaped.

O: Yeah, the irony is kinda funny.

_ [Breakdown: Oh great -- here we go…] _

O: Alright.

_ [Megatron: [yelling] Brawl, call in the Dark Energon bombers!] _

C: Oh, Megatron’s mad.

O: PISSED.

_ [Brawl: But Megatron, there’s too much firepower - _

_ Megatron: DO AS I HAVE ORDERED, BRAWL! _

_ Brawl: Yes, Megatron. Bombers, target these coordinates! Everyone else -- CLEAR THE STREET!] _

O: “Yes, Lord Megatron. Right away, Lord Megatron. Please don't take off my head, Lord Megatron.”

_ [Megatron transforms and drives into an area where the Decepticons are sheltering from the bombers, he passes by several Decepticon grunts as he heads towards some stairs. _

_ Sensible Decepticon: Look! It’s Megatron! _

_ Decepticon With A Death Wish: About time. Why’d he show up so late? _

_ Sensible Decepticon: Shut UP! You trying to get us both killed?] _

C: I assume the guy on the projector was Omega Supreme?

O: No, no-no-no-no. That was-

S: Sentinel Prime?

O: -Sentinel Prime.

[ **Note:** Despite his name literally being on the screen less then a minute ago, we’re both wrong, it’s Zeta Prime.]

C: I see.

_ [In-game cinematic: Two Decepticon bombers drop into frame flying over the area the party just vacated. _

_ Brawl: Bombers inbound!] _

O: Omega Supreme is HUGE. Like, he is, I think, the final boss for the Decepticon campaign, and he’s HUGE.

C: Oh! He’s the one that turns into the- the base.

O & S: Yeah.

C: Okay, I’m sorry.

_ [The bombers are quickly shoot by anti-aircraft guns and go down, crashing into buildings. The camera returns to Megatron. One of the downed ships is burning right in front of him. _

_ Breakdown: Well, THAT was a complete disaster.] _

_ Megatron: Silence! Obviously our bombers are incompetent!] _

O: [laughs]

S: Yeah, I think in the Autobot campaign it's Trypticon, that's the final boss, maybe?

O: Yeah, yeah, it’s Trypticon.

_ [Brawl: Lord Megatron -- if I may make a suggestions? Disabling the anti-aircraft guns would open the way for our air support... _

_ Megatron: An excellent though, Brawl. Carry it out. _

_ New Objective, “Disable the anti-aircraft guns,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.] _

C: Wait. They called for air support and the plane flew into the wall?

_ [Megatron heads to his left, stopping on the edge of a drop off. The Autobots and Decepticons are in a fire fight. _

_ Brawl: Decepticons! Take those guns!] _

O: Ehh, the- the anti-aircraft guns took it out.

C: Oh.

O: So they’re like, “Take out those guns and that’ll help!” and you’re like, “No shit!”

_ [Megatron begins sniping Autobots who are on another ridge across from the platform he’s standing on. _

_ Megatron: We got another one!] _

C: Wait… are the machines flying other non-transforming machine?

O: Yes.

S: Uh, probably. It’s also-

C: Is that normal?

O: Yes.

S: Yeah… It's also entirely possible that they could be uh, flying Transformers that are actually transformed, or dead.

C: Yikes.

O: Well... I mean that’s kind of what they do with Trypticon later, it’s not that weird, unfortunately.

_ [Megatron moves closer to the Autobot occupied area.] _

C: Yeah.

S: I mean, it’s what they did in  _ More Than Meets the Eye _ after uh…

O: Oh, yeah!

S: Yeah, the- the Necrobot’s base.

O: They're like, “Oh shit, we have no ship to get off we're just gonna take this Decepticon, mass shift him and fly his dead corpse off planet.” [laughs]

C: [laughs]

S: Yeah.

O: Like, I'm not even paraphrasing or exaggerating-

S: That’s pretty much just…

O: Pretty much, yeah.

S: Pretty much what they did.

_ [Megatron pauses and looks behind him at the firefight before entering a doorway on his left and following a path upwards towards where the anti-aircraft gun are located.] _

C: Megatron’s like, “Ehhh, you guys got that.”

_ [Megatron enters a room that has two large windows on the left side. Two Decepticons grunts are firing back at Autobots inside. _

_ Breakdown: Turrets! They’re gonna chop us to pieces! _

_ Megatron: No one turns back! Destroy those guns by ANY means necessary!] _

O: Or take them, maybe?

_ [Brawl: You heard Lord Megatron! Decepticons -- lay down cover fire while we take that building! _

_ Megatron takes cover behind the pillars next to the windows and door and snipes various Autobots, some snipers, and some stationed at turrets.] _

C: Ultra Magnus. That's who I was thinking uh, Omega Supreme was for some reason.

O: [laughs]

S: Oh...

O: Wow, that was wildly inaccurate!

S: Yeah.

_ [Megatron continues sniping Autobots, butsome turrets he already cleared out are being manned by Autobots again…] _

C: Right? I think it's cuz they're both- they're both- both of their names are like two words?

S: Yeah. I can see that.

_ [Megatron attempts to back up but is blocked by a Decepticon that is ducking behind him.] _

O: [deep voice] “Move, Decepticon!”

C: Right? [laughs] “No! I’m safe here!”

O: [deep voice] “You’re not safe behind me if I decide to shoot you!”

_ [Megatron: This fate awaits all who oppose me! _

_ Megatron continues to snipe. The Autobots keep spawning in and taking control of the turrets. The nearest turret turns towards Megatron and shoots at him, missing.] _

O: Oh my god, why!? Why do you keep spawning? Just stop already!

C: Yeah, the real question is why they're like, “Hmm, well we were shooting down this hallway at the people coming at us maybe if  _ I _ do it, I’ll fare better than the guy who died last time?

O: Right!?

C: That one at least tried to point the gun at you.

_ [Megatron shoots at an Autobot but instead of moving in the direction of the gunshot’s momentum he flies backwards out of Megatron’s scope at high speed and hits a large cylindrical object, then slides down and explodes.] _

O: [laughs] I love physics! Like, the physics in this is so weird! He just went flying backwards. [laughs]

C: But yeah, they're like, “Hmm, someone from the side is shooting us. Oh well, I’ll just run and grab this gun!”

_ [After sniping a few more Autobots Megatron runs out of the room and up stairs to his right. An Autobot sitting in a turret on one of the stairway landings leaves his turret and tries to attack the party, but gets a Fusion Cannon to the face.] _

O: I think I’m supposed to be going up there without uh, killing all of them.

_ [Autobot: We’ve got to protect the anti-air guns! _

_ Brawl: Now! Hit the Autobots while they’re distracted! _

_ The party continues upwards and into a dimly lit corridor before ascending more stairs. They pass by a glitching Zeta Prime hologram.] _

O: Like, maybe- maybe I'm supposed to be moving, but I- I like my idea better. They just keep coming because they’re idiots.

_ [Megatron reaches a console and activates it, opening a door to his right that leads back outside. Seeing a health chest he runs over and smashes it, despite still having a shield left.] _

O: I don’t know why I hit that, I don’t need that either.

_ [There is a console to Megatron’s right, as well as a nearby Autobot who has his back to him. Megatron runs over to the console, but no UI displays as he runs around the console.] _

C: These are not working computer.

_ [Megatron runs over to the oblivious Autobot and smashes him with his melee attack.] _

C: [laughs]

_ [Megatron: There! The gun controls!] _

O: [laughs] Yes! I know! I was trying to hit them, Megs!

_ [Megatron returns to the console, having to wait for his dialogue to complete before finally being given the option to interact with the console and planting a detpak on it.] _

C: You had to smash that guy over the head first.

O: Ey- ust Megatron really wanted to smash that guy over the head.

_ [The detpak explodes, and the console swaps over from Autobot red to Decepticon purple, complete with Decepticon insignia on it’s screen. Dark Energon begins forming on the nearby anti-aircraft gun. Megatron turns back to the console, which is now also being consumed by Dark Energon crystals.] _

O: Okay, so now we've got Dark Energon infecting the aircraft guns… and everything else to be honest.

_ [Breakdown: Niiiice! Takes one gun to blow up the other! _

_ Soundwave: Megatron -- the controls are overloading. _

_ Purple electricity begins coming off the console, and Dark Energon begins taking over a nearby wall.] _

O: The Dark Energon’s too much!

_ [Megatron: Move, Decepticons! _

_ Megatron jumps off the platform to the ground below, transforming in midair and driving little ways before returning to bot mode and looking back up at the anti-aircraft gun. The console explodes.] _

S: Oh, and this is very hectic.

_ [Breakdown: That almost punched our tickets! I thought Dark Energon was on our side?] _

O: [snorts]

_ [Megatron: Brawl -- call in the bombers. _

_ Dark Energon still covers the anti-aircraft guns and surface near it but doesn’t appear to moving out any further.] _

O: [laughs] Megatron’s like, “Moving on.”

C: Right-

_ [Megatron wanders around the nearby area while Brawl coms Starscream. _

_ Brawl: Transmitting the coordinates… _

_ Starscream (COM): Brawl, this is Starscream! Your request is denied. I won’t have you wasting more of my ships!] _

O: Oh god...

S: Dark Energon does not give a shit.

O: Neither does Megatron in about 3 seconds!

S: Pretty much.

_ [Megatron: I see. When did they become YOUR ships, Starscream?] _

S: Mmmmmm!

_ [Starscream (COM): Oh -- Lord Megatron! I didn’t realize YOU were there!] _

O: [laughs] I mean, “Yes!”

_ [Starscream (COM): Air support request approved -- but it will be a few cycles before the bombers can reach you. I’m afraid you’ll just have to be patient. _

_ Brawl: We’ve got Autobot reinforcements headed our way!] _

C: When did Starscream grow a spine!?

O: Right!?!

S: Apparently, when the booty call turned out to be unsatisfying.

_ [Megatron: I shall make you pay for this, Starscream. Decepticons -- hold your positions until the bombers arrive! _

_ Megatron takes control of a nearby turret and begins shooting at the Autobot reinforcements below. _

_ New Objective, “Defend the anti-aircraft guns,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.] _

O: Yeah, are we assuming that already happened and he was  _ not _ satisfied with how that went? I mean...

S: Either that or he's pissed off that Megatron did not notice him.

O: [laughs] He didn’t comment on how pretty and shiny he was the last time they met.

_ [Brawl: Snipers on the bridge, Megatron! _

_ Megatron aims the turret upwards and targets the Autobots that appeared on the bridge. After they are destroyed he resumes shooting at Autobots on the ground who have decided to court death and are aiming directly at him.] _

O: Hey, Chezni, you still there?

C: Oh, yeah.

O: Okay.

C: Sorry, uh, I think I was talking earlier wasn't I?

S: Maybe?

O: Uh, maybe I’m not paying enough attention.

_ [All the Autobots are destroyed. _

_ Breakdown: That’s it?!? We beat ‘em? _

_ Brawl: No, no, no… there’s NO way the Autobots would give up that easily.] _

C: I might have been cutting out through Discord, I’m not sure.

_ [Megatron: Agreed, Brawl. Everyone hold fast and stay alert. _

_ Breakdown: On the roof over there! More Autobots!] _

O: Strangely quiet as those lasers are being fired over there.

_ [Megatron attempts to turn to the Autobots who have spawned in on his left, but is restricted by the turret he’s on which doesn’t turn far enough. Megatron hops out of the turret and begins sniping the enemy Autobots. _

_ Decepticon: Autobot ground vehicle approaching!] _

_ Megatron: We got another one!] _

C: I was just so mesmerized by watching the machine gun fire.

O: [laughs]

C: It was addicting to watch.

O: Cuz machine guns make you happy.

C: Yes!

_ [Brawl: They’re firing from the windows! _

_ Megatron continues firing at Autobots, periodically more drop down from the roof onto the balcony area the rest are shooting from.] _

C: It's actually quite satisfying every time to see uh, Owls zoom in and just shoot things.

O: Well, I’m glad your entertained!

_ [One of the large Autobots with a machine gun walks out and Megatron begins shooting it. Unfortunately, it does not die in one hit so Megatron continues to shoot it.] _

O: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

C: That one's less satisfying! It's not dying.

O: Ah what-

C: Make it die!

O: [laughs] “Make it die!”

_ [The large Autobot is vanquished! Megatron swaps to his Fusion Cannon and begins shooting the other nearby Autobots.] _

O: This is why I like the things- I- I like the- the weapons that kill them in one hit, ya know?

C: Yeah.

_ [Breakdown: The Autobots just keep coming!] _

C: Specs, what's your uh, favorite weapon of choice?

_ [Brawl: Jets attacking from above! _

_ Megatron picks up the turret gun dropped by the large Autobot and turns to his right, targeting a group of Aerialbots.] _

S: I... don't think I actually have a preference for any of the weapons, because I'm not good with sniper rifles… Um, I mostly just a spray-and-pray sort of…

O: So, machine guns?

S: Yeah.

C: Yeah, I'm hearing machine guns.

_ [Megatron continues his machine gun Aerialbot rampage. _

_ Megatron: All shall fall before Megatron!] _

C: Actually, I think that lines up as well uh, with uh, previous levels that you played. I remember see you get uh...

_ [Breakdown: Blast those Autobot junk-heaps on the bridge! _

_ The pilfered turret runs out of ammo and Megatron swaps back to his Fusion Cannon.] _

S: Yeah, I think I mostly had machine guns. Either that or- well, uh, playing with the mealy weapons- or melee.

C: [laughs] I like to stab!

O: [snorts]

S: Yes.

_ [Megatron runs over to another mounted turret and takes aim at more Aerialbots.] _

O: [laughs] I’m a talking car!

S: [laughs] Well, when I remember to transform.

C: Yeah! As funny as it sounds in a Transformers game.

O: [laughs] You kinda forget you can do it.

S: Yeah.

_ [Two large turret carrying Autobots appear on the distant bridge. Megatron shoots them but they persist in living.] _

O: Oh my god, will you die already!?

C: Megatron is-

S: I wonder if you can shoot the screen?

C: The screen?

S: Cuz there's a screen that's occasionally-

_ [Megatron turns to his left where a glitching screen is visible, he shoots it but nothing happens.] _

O: Oh.

C: Oh! [laughs]

O: I was like, no, you can’t have it [the gun] face the camera, was the way I was interpreting that in my head.

S: [laughs]

C: Makes me want to-

_ [One of the two large Autobots finally goes down.] _

O: FINALLY! Jesus!

C: Make sure that the canon of uh, the- the plot of um, Megatron vs all Cybertronian ads continue.

O & S: [laugh]

O: I mean… I would be into that-

_ [Breakdown: We’re gonna get slaughtered! _

_ Megatron: Stop your whining, Breakdown, or I’ll stop it for you. _

_ Brawl: They’re coming from all directions!] _

O: -would be funny to me. The real reason um, the real reason Megatron fucking lost it is because he was tired of ads.

_ [Megatron rips the turret off and begins shooting at snipers that have spawned on the bridge. _

_ Breakdown: Megatron, they’re everywhere! What do we do??] _

C: Right.

_ [Megatron: WE HOLD THEM OFF. The bombers will clear the street when they arrive! Rely on that!] _

C: “My fellow Decepticons, do you realize that every day you are assaulted by 20,000 different advertisements? Where’s the decency!?”

O: [laughs] “But they’re all from two ad agencies on the entire planet!”

_ [Megatron: [laughs manically] ] _

S: Oh gosh, that's just making you wonder if someone's done an ad agency AU, where they're basically competing ad agencies instead of competing factions?

_ [Megatron continues targeting all the large number of Autobots that are now spawning in multiple locations, until runs out of ammo in the turret. He drops the turret.] _

O: Fuck that was-

C: Right, Megatron is just busting up the monopoly.

_ [Breakdown: That’s -- that’s the WHOLE AUTOBOT ARMY! We’ll never-- _

_ Brawl: BOMBING RUN WILL COMMENCE IN FIVE… FOUR… THREE… TWO… ONE! _

_ Megatron runs over to another turret but is taken down by Autobot fire.] _

O: Crap!

_ [The Mission Failed screen appeared and Owls selects, “Restart from checkpoint.”] _

O: OH MY GOD! I have to do that again! [laughs] I apparently got right to the end but I died.

_ [The level reloads at the point where all the Aerialbots had started spawning in. _

_ New Objective, “Defend the anti-aircraft guns,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.] _

S: Oh, no!

C: Maybe it saved?

_ [Breakdown: The Autobots just keep coming! _

_ Brawl: Jets attacking from above!] _

O: Well, I’m hoping that I don’t have to do all of them again, maybe?

C: Yeah.

S: No, you’re probably going to have to do- kill all of them, again.

_ [Megatron takes a turret, and begins shooting Aerialbots. This one is revealed to not be a machine gun, but something much more akin to his Fusion Cannon blasts.] _

O: This is not a machine gun turret. I did not know these existed!

C: That looks like a fusion gun- cannon turret, thing.

S: Maybe? Yeah, that’s-

O: I mean, I’m okay with this, to be honest. I prefer being- not having to shoot things a billion times.

_ [Megatron shoots one of the Aerialbots which causes and explosion that takes out two additional nearby Autobots.] _

O: And that's very satisfying.

C: Satisfying to watch! I hate using things like this.

O: Well, that’s why you give me all the bigger guns, dear.

C: That is true.

_ [Breakdown: Blast those Autobot junk-heaps on the bridge! _

_ Two large turret wielding Autobots appear on the bridge, Megatron begins shooting at one of them, while periodically swapping back to take out groups of Aerialbots.] _

O: I have better aim than you anyway.

C: Aim!?! What's that?

O: I  _ know. _

C: Food?

O: [laughs] You’re like, machine gun, shot gun, what aim? There is no aim, there is only shoot!

_ [Megatron targets one of the turret Autobots but keeps missing because the Autobot is moving.] _

C: Although, you need to aim where they're going to be and not where they are.

O: I KNOOOOW.

C: [laughs]

_ [One turret Autobot goes down. Megatron takes aim at the other.] _

C: At least killing those guys is easier with this thing.

O: Oh, thank you god!

_ [The second turret Autobot is defeated. Megatron begins taking damage as shoots hit him from below.] _

S: Like, this is going a lot faster than the other one did.

O: Who is shooting at me? You are shooting at me.

_ [Megatron destroys the one lone Autobot on the ground.] _

S: They’re from the ground, yeah.

C: A tiny boy.

O: A tiny boy is shooting me. A tiny boy must die.

C: Tiny, dead boy.

O: Tiny, dead boy.

_ [Breakdown: I’m the fastest thing on four wheels!] _

C: [laughs] No one's arguing that point but is that really necessary to bring up right now?

S: Well, I feel like-

_ [An Autobot gets on the platform with the party and begins shooting. Megatron can’t maneuver the turret to hit him and tries to exit, but instead rips it off.] _

O: Argh! I keep hitting the wrong button.

S: He's channeling Dragstrip.

_ [Breakdown: We’re gonna get slaughtered! _

_ Megatron: Stop your whining, Breakdown, or I’ll stop it for you.] _

C: Wait! He goes from, “I’m the fastest thing on two [four] wheels!” to, “We’re gonna get slaughtered!” 

_ [Brawl: They’re coming from all directions!] _

O: Oh! I thought an Autobot said that.

_ [Breakdown: Megatron, they’re everywhere! What do we do??] _

C: Oh, did he?

S: Maybe?

O: Maybe I’m wrong. [Yup, I am very wrong. ~O]

_ [Megatron continues to run around with the Nucleon Shock Cannon shooting as a large number of Autobots spawn in. _

_ Megatron: WE HOLD THEM OFF. The bombers will clear the street when they arrive! Rely on that!] _

S: Well, I don’t know- I don't think they have particularly of a wide range of voice actors?

O: Yeah… at least not- certainly not for the little guys.

S: Yeah.

C: Oh, did you rip that thing off?

O: I did. I wasn't trying to.

C: The Nucleon Shock Cannon.

O: Which, apparently, I like much more than the other guns!

_ [Breakdown: That’s -- that’s the WHOLE AUTOBOT ARMY! We’ll never-- _

_ Brawl: BOMBING RUN WILL COMMENCE IN FIVE… FOUR… THREE… TWO… ONE! _

_ An in-game cinematic plays, as the Decepticon bombers finally hit their targets. The party, plus Brawl are standing on a platform, Brawl turns to Megatron.] _

S: Well, nucleon makes sense considering uh, what it actually does in the comic canon.

_ [Breakdown: Wooooo-hoooo! BOOM! Eat THAT, Autobots! _

_ Brawl: The street looks clear, Megatron.] _

O: Does it-

C: Wait, so it’s a real thing?

S: Yeah, nucleon is basically a heavy-duty powerup, but it prevents transforming in the Marvel Comics.

O: Huh.

_ [Brawl: That should’ve blown the Vault doors clear off! _

_ Megatron: Good. Brawl -- remain here and hold this position. The rest of us will move forward and acquire the Omega Key!] _

S: And it may, or may not uh… uh, also kind of fuck with them.

_ [Megatron jumps down from the platform the party has been on during the prior fight. The street below is littered with debris, Dark Energon crystals, and Autobots with varying degrees of damage. A nearby Autobot runs towards Megatron, but trips and Megatron stomps on him. _

_ Autobot: Help… me… Must… fight… Must warn… Zeta Prime...] _

S: Cuz, I think like, Grimlock ends up an Action Master because of it. An Action Master as a transformer who doesn't transform.

O: Hmm.

C: Gotcha.

S: It's been a while since I've done anything with… since I’ve read any of those um...

_ [New Objective, “Enter the Iacon Vaults,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen. _

_ Megatron hits Autobots with his melee attack that are on the ground as he heads towards the Iacon Vaults’ entrance.] _

C: Are you running around punching corpses!?

S: [laughs]

O: Uh, they were still alive. They were still shooting at me, they had to die.

C: [laughs]

_ [Megatron runs over to some ammo but is unable to pick it up. He reloads the Null Ray and then picks it up refilling 1 ammo.] _

O: I’m taking the one thing of ammo from it, alright? Don’t judge me.

S: Like, nucleon is apparently an actual thing rather than just nucleon in Transformers.

_ [An in-game cinematic plays as the party reaches the Iacon Vaults. A huge Autobot, 2 to 3 times the height of Megatron bursts out of a wall and lands in front of the party. _

_ Big Autobot: Engaging Decepticons at the Iacon Vaults. _

_ The Autobot moves forward while a Decepticon grunt fires on him, crushing the grunt under his giant feet. _

_ Decepticon: Fall back! Fall back! _

_ The big Autobot then transforms into a big tank.] _

S: Oh a giant- !

O: Oh goody.

S: I wonder if that’s-

C: I wanna play as that guy!

_ [Breakdown: What the-?!? That guy is huge!] _

C: Yeah, I want to be that thing!

_ [Megatron: Split up and flank him! Use the debris for cover! _

_ Megatron fires some tentative shots at the tank but doesn’t appear to be doing any damage. He uses the debris to maneuver around the tank looking for a weak point. _

S: Okay- yeah, nucleon is an incredible power- incredibly powerful energy source capable of being used as fuel by a Transformer but though it can give great strength and power and has even revived the non-functional it has terrible side effects to quote uh, the TF Wiki.

C: Alright.

_ [Breakdown: The tank’s armor is too tough! We gotta find a weak spot! _

_ The tank has a weak point on it’s rear and Megatron unloads several Fusion Cannon rounds into him.] _

S: And yeah, one really common side effect is loss of transformation.

_ [The Autobot transforms back into robot mode. Megatron targets him, and seeing that the reticle turns red on the Autobot’s crotch begins shooting accordingly.] _

O: Shoot the crotch!

S: [laughs]

C: Would you be stuck in whatever form you were in when you took it?

S: Um, possibly? Mostly I think they were stuck it in robot mode.

_ [The party continues firing on the Autobot, who seems to only be targeting Soundwave. Megatron hangs back, transforming into tank mode once his Fusion Cannon ammo runs out and continuing to fire.] _

C: Gotcha, and yeah, Owls you are definitely shooting the crotch.

_ [Megatron: We’ve breached its armor! Now DESTROY IT!] _

S: [laughs]

O: The ret- the reticle turned red!

C: [laughs]

O: Don’t judge me!

C: For obvious reasons!

O: Obviously! I'm sorry Soundwave, but I'm really glad you say aiming at you and not me. [laughs]

C: Soundwave’s over there just going, “OH MY GOD, WHAT’S GOING ON!?!” [laughs]

_ [The Autobot if finally taken down after 8 tank rounds are unloaded into the crotch area, he then explodes. _

_ Soundwave: Megatron -- the tank has been rendered non-functional.] _

C: I mean, “Didn’t even break a sweat, thanks boss.”

O: [laughs]

_ [Breakdown: You see that? *I* did that. ALL. Me.] _

C: Ohhhh my god.

O: Breakdown, Breakdown are- do you want to die?

_ [Megatron picks up some nearby ammo. _

_ Megatron: A brilliant addition to my arsenal! _

_ He then walks forward, towards where Breakdown and Soundwave are waiting next to the vault entrance. _

_ Megatron: Onward, Decepticons. Into the Vaults!] _

S: Well-

O: “You know what? You know what I'm having for dinner tonight? Your ass.” [laughs]

C: [laughs]

S: Dead End is the one with the death wish.

O: Yeah…

_ [Megatron walks up to some debris blocking the vault entrance and plants a detpak on it.] _

C: Wait, who's Dead End?

S: Another Stunticon, he sounds very British in the G1 cartoon.

_ [The detpak explodes and the party enters the Vaults. Debris litters the floor, and just inside a hologram of Zeta Prime appears. _

_ Zeta Prime: Megatron. My, you are a persistent one! But breaking into my Vaults?!? You’ve overstepped yourself.] _

O: Yeah, I don't really remember him I only know him because you like him.

S: He's a Porsche [Porsch]- or a Porsche [Por-shuh].

O: That’s funny. [laughs] Why- like-

S: Breakdown’s a Lamborghini. Yes?

O: Were the Stunticons the ones Starscream made?

_ [Megatron: I won’t waste words with you, Zeta Prime. Give me the Omega Key, and I may spare what’s left of your city. _

_ New Objective, “Find the Omega Key,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.] _

S: No, that was um, the Combaticons.

O: Gotcha.

S: The Stunticons are the ones that uh, Megatron stole like, the key to Vector Sigma for.

O: Right, right. I know there was something. Like they were created somehow.

S: Yeah.

_ [Megatron shoots a large piece of debris that is still barely connected to ceiling. It falls and creates a hole in the floor. The party jumps through.] _

C: You know, they should make Con-a-cons. Cons that were made specifically for cons?

_ [A large Zeta Prime hologram appears to the right of the party. _

_ Zeta Prime: The Omega Key will NEVER be yours Megatron.] _

S: [quietly] God.

O: [laughs] Why are you like this, Chezni?

_ [Megatron: I look forward to debating that with you IN PERSON.] _

O: [snorts]

_ [Decepticon: Lord Megatron! Help! _

_ Megatron heads down some stairs on the left.] _

C: They'd be great at cons!

O: I think Starscre- or I think Megatron’s like the worst customer, like, [deep voice] “I will come into your store and you WILL process this return!”

A: [laugh]

O: “Or so help me, Primus!”

_ [The party enters a room where a Decepticon grunt is visible behind a large glass-like barrier in front of them. _

_ Breakdown: Zeta’s got one of our guys trapped! _

_ A reddish insignia appears on the ground underneath the grunts feet. _

_ Breakdown: Look at the floor! What’s Zeta up to?] _

C: “You will give me a refund of $39.99!”

O: Right.

C: “Uh, sir, that's not how this works!” “I don't think you understand you  _ will _ give me a refund.”

O: [laughs] Right? Seems- seems accurate

_ [A large pillar of metal slams down as the grunt throws himself forward avoiding it. Another insignia appears under where he is currently standing. _

_ Decepticon: Hey -- I’m still functional! I’M STILL F-- _

_ The Decepticon waves to the party before being smashed by another pillar. _

_ Megatron: Idiot. Decepticons! Onward! _

_ Zeta Prime: You cannot hope to overcome my defenses, Megatron! _

_ The party enters a hallway on their left. It is lit with reddish lights on the walls, and a circular doorway is visible on the far end. Megatron walks forward and the reddish insignia from before appears underneath his feet. An insignia also appears further down the hallway, but Megatron transforms and drives to the clear area between the two.] _

C: Also, did somebody get flattened?

O: Yup!

S: Yes.

_ [The large pillars smash down where the insignias were. _

_ Megatron: Your pathetic machinery won’t stop me, Zeta Prime!] _

C: Oh, geez!

O: Which is why I’m waiting until that one-

_ [Another insignia appears where Megatron is standing. He quickly drives as ahead as the pillar in front of him slowly rises. _

_ Breakdown: Watch out, Megatron! You’re gonna get smushed!] _

C & S: [laugh]

O: Bitch, I've done this before!

_ [Megatron reaches the door, and returns to robot mode. A hologram of Zeta Prime appears in front of the door. Megatron smashes some nearby chests and picks up ammo while Zeta talks. _

_ Zeta Prime : Come no further, Megatron! The sacred Vaults are no place for your tainted spark.] _

C: Breakdown said sm- he didn't say smashed or flattened, he said-

C & O: ‘Smushed!’

O: [laughs]

S: Yes.

_ [Megatron: Nothing is sacred to me, Zeta Prime. You should have realized that by now. Decepticons!] _

C: ‘Smooshed.’

O: [laughs] He- he baby.

C: [laughs]

S: Smoosh, smoosh, smoosh.

O: Smoosh, smoosh. Breakdown, baby. [laughs]

_ [Zeta Prime’s hologram disappears and Megatron uses Dark Energon on the door.] _

O: It's just funnier when I try to connect that this eventually became the Breakdown in Prime.

C: Oh, yeah!

_ [The doorway is destroyed, and Dark Energon crystals form in the general vicinity. A room with a lone dais in the center is revealed.] _

O: Because same continuity and all, and my brain hurts.

C: Is he the one who loses the eye?

O: Yup!

S: Yup.

O: Same character, supposedly.

_ [An in-game cinematic begins. The party enters the room and Megatron walks up to the dais, reaching towards the large key-like object that is floating on it. The dais suddenly sinks into the floor and the key flies off. _

_ Megatron: Finally! The Omega Key is within my - What?!?] _

O: [yells] Ah! [laughs] Yoink!

_ [Zeta Prime rises from a large platform in the back of the room and catches the key. _

_ Zeta Prime: Did you really think it would be that easy?] _

C: “I’ll be taking that.”

_ [Megatron points at Zeta Prime. _

_ Megatron: Come down HERE, Zeta Prime, and I will give you the answer!] _

C & O: [laugh]

_ [Zeta Prime: I shall remain where I am -- this vantage point will provide an excellent view of your destruction. _

_ A dome shaped barrier appears around Zeta. He remains still with the key floating next to him as the room begins to change around the party. A large number of pillars lift up revealing a much larger room. The large room is circular, with Zeta Prime in the center.] _

C: “You don’t understand, Megatron. I'm this level's boss! I wait in a room while you dispatch all of my minions-”

O: [laughs]

_ [A large dome shaped metal object above Zeta’s own little barrier dome generates a massive hologram of Zeta Prime from the chest up. The hologram’s movements match the real Zeta’s below. _

_ New Objective, “Defeat Zeta Prime,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen. _

_ Zeta Prime: My will controls this entire chamber, Megatron. I need only close my hand to crush the life out of you! _

_ Megatron transforms and begins driving around Zeta.] _

C: He’s acting like he’s so tough! But he’s standing in a bubble!

O: Okay, I remember this. I remember this, oh no, I remember this.

_ [Breakdown: The floor is glowing! It’s everywhere! He’s gonna smash us! _

_ The floor beneath Megatron begins glowing red, as he tries to get out of range but isn’t quick enough and gets smashed by a pillar.] _

O: Uh...

C: Oh no, the floor is lava!

_ [The Mission Failed screen appears.] _

C: Oh, geez!

O: I did not move fast enough.

_ [Owls selects, “Restart From Last Checkpoint,” and the game reloads.] _

S: That’s concerning.

O: [laughs] Noooo, no.

_ [The same cinematic as before plays. _

_ Owls pauses, and unpauses a few times looking for skip option. _

_ Megatron: Finally! The Omega Key is within my - What?!?] _

O: Can- can I skip this?

O: No? Am I just gonna have to watch this a zillion times? No.

C: You know what-

S: I think you just have to be-

_ [The cinematic is skipped and the battle begins. _

_ New Objective, “Defeat Zeta Prime,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen. _

_ Zeta Prime: My will controls this entire chamber, Megatron. I need only close my hand to crush the life out of you! _

_ Megatron transforms into vehicle mode.] _

C: -they spent a lot of time on that cinematic, you’re gonna watch it!

O: Zeta Prime spent a lot of time on that hologram to make him super buff.

C: Right?

_ [Breakdown: The floor is glowing! It’s everywhere! He’s gonna smash us! _

_ Megatron successfully evades the pillar this time. The pillar is reveals to be two pillars that effectively cover the entire distance from Zeta to the wall in a straight line. _

_ The way the pillars in this fight work is that there are two rings of them, one inner ring immediately around Zeta’s little bubble and another outer ring going around.] _

O: Yes, I got that much.

_ [Zeta continues to bring down more pillars, in two sets of two. Imagine it as if you were drawing a line through the center of a circle, and that’s the pattern the pillars are falling in.] _

C: So, wait, so he's not even smashing you with a hologram? He's just smashing with random metal things.

O: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but he's still  _ posing _ with the hologram, you know?

C: Yeah.

O: That part is important!

C: Right? And I know this is probably a stupid question, but why doesn't he just make all of them come down to the same time!?

_ [Zeta Prime: Do you see now, Megatron? This is my domain.] _

O: Because he wants to feel powerful.

C: I think he can’t-

_ [Megatron transforms into robot mode. _

_ Megatron: Your theatrics don’t frighten me, Zeta.] _

O: I agree! I agree, that I think they ARE theatrics!

C: Yeah!

_ [Zeta Prime: Here, I have the power to control… and create… _

_ Several life sized Zeta Prime holograms appear and begin attacking the party who fight back.] _

C: Now he's gonna make his tiny boys come after, you even though he's sit- he's sitting there safe in that bubble!

_ [Zeta Prime brings down three of the inner pillars briefly before they are lifted back up. The remaining Zeta clones are dispatched. _

_ Megatron: Endless duplicates of Zeta Prime - how nauseating! _

_ Megatron picks up ammo that was dropped by the clones.] _

O: I’m just saying, not all the time does Megatron have no reason to be mad at the Autobots, you know?

C: Yeah.

O: When their leaders are like this, he's got a point.

C: Also, wait, are those fake Autobots?

O: They’re his holograms.

S: Apparently he just does stuff with solid light holograms.

C: Right!?

_ [Megatron: Is that all, Zeta? A pathetic army of energon clones? Is that the best you can do?] _

O: [snorts]

C: Oh, energon clones.

_ [Zeta Prime: HAHAHAHA! You have NO idea! Here, I have limitless power!] _

C: So that’s what Megatron did in G1…

O: Huh?

_ [Soundwave: Megatron, we may be able to damage Zeta’s machinery during its recharge cycle. _

_ The metal dome above Zeta opens up revealing a large reddish-orange core. The party begins firing at it.] _

C: With all those clones of everyone he has-

O: OH. Well, I don’t they’re holograms, unfortunately.

_ [Breakdown: Blasting his shield won’t work! _

_ The metal closes in around the core again. _

_ Zeta Prime: A valiant attempt, Decepticons, but Autobot machinery is more resilient than you realize.] _

C: No, no, I know, they don't have their shininess.

O: [laughs]

_ [Soundwave: Alert. ALERT. Zeta Prime is modifying the room. _

_ The floor below Megatron begins glows he begins walking away from it but is smashed by a pillar.] _

O: Oh come on! I thought I’d gotten away...

_ [The Mission Failed screen displays. Owls selects, “Restart From Last Checkpoint,” and the game reloads right after they’d damaged the core. _

_ New Objective, “Defeat Zeta Prime,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen. _

_ Zeta Prime: A valiant attempt, Decepticons, but Autobot machinery is more resilient than you realize.] _

C: Yeah, I didn’t quite catch what hit you.

O: It was another smashy thing.

C: Oh.

O: Thankful it saved, so I don’t have to do all of that again.

_ [Breakdown: Ceiling’s coming down! Get away from the mashers! _

_ Zeta brings the outer ring of pillars down one at a time, Megatron moves into the interior to avoid them.] _

C: So Specs, what is- what is Zeta Prime usually do? I actually haven't really seen anything with Zeta Prime.

S: Uh, Zeta Prime is actually not a character I remember seeing very much about, he’s probably just one of the-

O: Well, he  _ can _ bring them all down, Chezni.

C: Oh.

O: Oh shit.

_ [The floor under the inner ring begins glowing and the party tries to stay ahead of them to avoid getting smashed. They eventually reach a gap where an exterior ring was either not brought down or has already been raised and exit into the gap.] _

C: He just can’t bring them down when they’re close to you, oh. No, I'm dumb I just now realized the red markings on the floor indicate he's going to bring them down.

O: [laughs]

C: Just now. I am- you are probably very happy that we are not playing with you.

_ [Zeta Prime raises all the pillars and generates more clones of himself. _

_ Breakdown: How can we win if he keeps making more clones?!?] _

O: [laughs] You would have gotten crushed so many times.

C: Yes.

S: Okay, Zeta Prime  _ is _ apparently from the original Transformers cartoon, from the third season, I think. But I don't think he had a very uh, big part I think he's mostly from um, the ID- the 2005 IDW continuity.

_ [Zeta Prime brings down more pillars in the inner ring, but misses the party and they are raised again. _

_ Soundwave: The Energon composition of these clones is remarkable. _

_ Breakdown: You can be a SUCH a nerd, Soundwave!] _

O: [snorts]

_ [Soundwave: Megatron -- Zeta Prime’s machine core is now vulnerable. _

_ The machine core is visible again, and the party fires on it.] _

C: Gotcha.

O: Is he a bastard in that one too?

_ [Soundwave: Zeta Prime’s shield has proven impenetrable.] _

S: Mm, well, I don't think he’s, like, a bastard in the Marvel com- or not Marvel, ugh.

O: In G1.

_ [The core is hidden again and the screen shakes as something above the party explodes, small debris falls around them. _

_ Megatron: Your machine is failing, Zeta Prime. Where are your boasts now?] _

S: Yeah, in the original G1 cartoon, but yeah IDW, he’s definitely an asshole.

_ [Zeta Prime: The battle is far from over, Decepticon! Prepare for destruction!] _

O: All the Primes in IDW were assholes, even Prime! Er, or even Optimus.

S: Yeah. Yeah.

C: Yikes.

_ [Zeta Prime: Stay off the glowing floors if you wish to live!] _

_ Zeta Prime begins bringing down pillars 2 at a time, effectively moving to cover the entire room. Megatron transforms into vehicle mode and manages to stay ahead of the glowing floors. _

C: Also, rewind- did Breakdown say, “You are such a nerd Soundwave”?

O: Yes.

_ [Zeta Prime lifts all the pillars and generates a bunch more clones for the party to fight. Explosions continue to rock the room. _

_ Zeta Prime: I can easily create more energon clones! You WILL be destroyed!] _

C: He’s lucky it's not the Soundwave from Prime.

O: Well, I mean it is,  _ technically. _

C: OH GOSH, right.

S: Technically, yes. Except he gets a very heavy-duty makeover before Prime.

O: Well- well, I think the- the sort of running implication is that he got very heavily damaged at some point before the start of Prime.

S: Well, it counts as a heavy-duty makeover.

_ [The party continues to fight clones while also dodging the various pillars that Zeta Prime keeps slamming into the floor. White electricity is briefly visible on the floor while the explosions continue. _

_ Soundwave: The Energon composition of these clones is remarkable. _

_ Breakdown: You can be a SUCH a nerd, Soundwave! _

C: Then he scanned a what, a stealth drone?

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah.

O: I still think if you’re gonna give him a vehicle mode, I think that’s a really good vehicle mode for Soundwave.

_ [Breakdown: Shoot the big glowy thing! SHOOT IT!! _

_ The machine core opens up again and the party fires.] _

C: [laughs]

O: Thanks, Breakdown.

S: Ahhh…

O: Thanks, baby. You’re tryin’, baby.

S: That’s- that’s super helpful.

C: Hashtag, “shoot the glowy thing.”

_ [Zeta Prime: No! Systems failing… this cannot be! _

_ Zeta appears to make a last ditch effort to drop all the pillars but is foiled by a cinematic.] _

O: Oh, yes it can!

C: He’s like, “No! How could you kill me while I sat here in my bubble!?”

O & S: [laugh]

O: “Not so tough now, are ya?”

_ [Zeta Prime’s barrier has dissipated, he stands on his platform while metal from his machine rains down around him. He falls, partially trapped under some debris. Megatron walks over and picks him up with one hand so they’re mostly facing each other eye to eye. _

_ Zeta Prime: Finish it! _

_ Megatron pushes his fist into Zeta Prime’s chest, causing him to drop the Omega key.] _

C: Woah!

O: You were saying? I’ll take that key, and your spark, and I’m done.

_ [Zeta Prime: [screams] _

_ Megatron: The Omega Key is mine! The Core of Cybertron is mine! _

_ Megatron catches the key and slams Zeta Prime back onto the ground. The camera zooms in on the key in Megatron’s hand as a single light in the middle begins blinking red.] _

C: Eh- eh?

S: I think there’s going to be some boom.

_ [Zeta Prime is lying on the ground, twitching. _

_ Zeta Prime: [laughs] Your spies were misinformed, Megatron. That device only activates the key to the core. But don’t worry, the Omega Key will come to you.] _

C: You can still talk!?

_ [The screen cuts to a different cinematic that pans over the face of a huge Autobot as his optics come online. _

_ Omega Supreme: Omega: Activated. Power: Optimal.] _

C: Oh, snap!

_ [More shots of Omega Supreme’s systems coming online as his Autobot badge is prominently displayed. _

_ Omega Supreme: Mission: Destroy Megatron. _

_ In the final shot, Omega Supreme is his vehicle mode, which is a large aircraft, and he takes to the air.] _

S: Well, they've definitely got he has speech pattern right.

O: Yup, and he a big boi.

S: Yes, he is.

O: [laughs] Thanks for watching guys, hopefully, that's still fun even though there's not you know, three of us idiots running around. There is only but one idiot running around. Uh, and um, again, I’m sad I can’t play as Soundwave, but join us next time for chapter 4, Death of Hope.

S: Nice.

O: I’m Owls.

S: I’m Specs.

C: I’m Chezni.

O: Have a good day!

[Outro Music]


	4. Death of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War for Cybertron - Decepticon Campaign  
> Chapter 4: Death of Hope  
> On Cybertron you don't find the Omega key, the Omega key finds YOU!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks!
> 
> You might notice, "Hey! This looks different than the past three chapters!" Which, yes, it does, and the reason for that is that these have been really time consuming to do and we've been trying to think of something that's easier and will hopefully still make things accessible. So the visual descriptions are no longer available in transcript form, but English captions have now been added to the Youtube video itself.
> 
> The transcript below is just the Youtube captions, hence why some of the formatting is a bit wonky.
> 
> We'll also be going back and adding captions to the older War for Cybertron videos (eventually), but the transcripts on AO3 will remain unchanged.
> 
> _In-game dialogue will be denoted by [bracketed italics] ._

[Intro Music]

O: Welcome back to our Let's Play of 'War for Cybertron'! We are on chapter 4: Death of 

O: Hope. Um, as always I'll be playing Megatron, and I'm Owls.

S: I'm Specs.

C: I'm Chezni.

O: And here we go!

O: I'm back with my asshole-  
S: The Death of Hope-

O: [laughs] What?  
S: THE DEATH OF HOPE!

O: Yes.  
S: Ahhh!

 _[Steve Blum: Zeta Prime is conquered. But the device Megatron]_  
O: Is he now?

_[Steve Blum: believed to be the Omega Key simply activated the key]_

C: He got his heart ripped out.  
_[Steve Blum: Omega Supreme.]_

O: Tha- that's dead! That's different than 'conquered'.  
_[Steve Blum: Megatron quickly discovers he can use the device to track Omega Supreme.]_

 _[Steve Blum: And races above the skies of Iacon in pursuit of his quarry.]_  
S: Well, I mean 'conquered' can be a euphemism for many things.

C: [laughs]  
O: Many things! That's why I was laughing at it.

_[Megatron: Maintain this heading! The device shows the Omega Key is directly ahead!]_

O: Wow, everybody drives but Megatron.  
_[Breakdown: I thought Zeta said it was gonna come to US!]_

 _[Soundwave: We are being intercepted.]_  
S: Yeah.

S: Oh, who were the other characters available in this?

O: Oh! Same two. It's gonna be Breakdown and Soundwave for the next two chapters.

 _[Breakdown: It's coming right at us!]_  
S: Okay.

_[Megatron: Stay your course!_  
_Breakdown: We're gonna dieeeeeeee!]_

C & S: [laugh]  
C: Deja vu.

 _[Megatron: Turn around and-- where did it go?]_  
O: [laughs]

_[Breakdown: He's gone! What is this guy? You think he knows about the Omega Key?]_

S: Uh...  
O: Yes.

 _[Megatron: No Breakdown. HE IS the Omega Key!]_  
S: Considering he probably... yeah.

_[Omega: Identity: Omega Supreme. Enemy Status: TERMINATED.]_

O: That seems a bit... ya know...

C: Presumptuous?  
_[Breakdown: What are we gonna do NOW Megatron?]_

O: Yes.  
_[Megatron: Silence!]_

S: Yeah, I mean why didn't you just...  
_[Megatron: This merely modifies my plan.]_

S: Omega, why didn't you just hammer it against the ground!?!  
_[Megatron: If Omega Supreme IS the key...]_

C: Or sit on it!  
_[Megatron: then I shall FORCE him to open the planet's core.]_

O: [laughs] Like, really make sure he was dead, SUPER dead.

O: Also sorry, I had to- um, I had to close some things on my computer because they

O: were making noise at me. So there's like a beep from Google Hangouts in there somewhere. 

O: ALSO why does Megatron keep waking up in a wrecked ship!?

O: [laughs] This is the second time!  
C: Yeah he really-

S: It's his equivalent of going on a bar crawl.  
_[Soundwave: Megatron-- there is a Decepticon dropship]_

C & O: [laugh]  
_[Soundwave: across the bridge. They appear to be scanning for survivors.]_

_[Starscream (COM): Come in Megatron! This is Starscream, do you read me?]_

_[Megatron: Starscream! I am 7 clicks north of your position!]_

_[Starscream: Megatron!]_  
O: The fuck's a click?

 _[Starscream: I watched you crash and burn...]_  
S: Oh god, another...

 _[Megatron: Enough! Meet us at the bridge!]_  
S: I'm assum-

S: [sighs] I don't know it could either be a distance of measurement or a time measurement.

C: Well, a click is a shorthand for an 'astro click'-

O: UGH!  
C: -a uh, distant cousin of the 'astro second.'

O: Nooooooooo... [laughs] NO!

S: I don't like that they're just you know like, plexi-  
O: Astro-units!?! [laughs]

S: Well, I was going to say like, plexiglas panels that are part of the walkway.

C: It is a bit concerning.  
_[Omega: Identification: Decepticons. Action: Terminate.]_

_[Decepticon Grunt: Fall back! Fall back and take cover!]_

C: Omega Supreme is pretty.

 _[Decepticon Grunt: Help us! Megatron!]_  
O: Autobot scum.

C: He has big like, beam wings- what would you call those?  
_[Soundwave: Our weapons are ineffective.]_

 _[Breakdown: We can't fight this thing! We've gotta get out of here!]_  
S: [laughs] Well, I,

S: they're part of like, tracks in his-in G1.  
_[Megatron: Stand your ground, Decepticons! Destroy the bridge supports!]_

C: Tracks? Oh! The- the course, right

C: because you could race little cars around him. [laughs]

S: Yeah.  
O: [laughs and says something unintelligible]

C: Quiet you! [laughs]  
S: But if you did, I'm not terribly familiar with his toy.

O: Well, neither is Chezni. Big boy fall down.

S: And this is why you don't have battles on bridges in the middle of-  
C: Ha!

 _[Breakdown: That did it, all right -- but there goes your Omega Key!]_  
C: Yeah!

_[Megatron: We can salvage the wreckage for what we need.]_

_[Omega: Target: Acquired.]_

C: This has been uh, advice from Specs.  
_[Omega: Mission: Destroy.]_

C: Don't have epic battles on bridges if you don't wanna to fall down.  
_[Megatron: Fall back. Inside. Quickly!]_

O: Well, it- it's also that um, they forgot [the] he could fly thing.  
S: Yeah.

 _[Breakdown: We must return to the door!]_  
O: Again, you know?

S: Yeah.  
_[Breakdown: It's no use, Megatron! The door's locked!]_

_[Soundwave: Suggestion: Use Dark Energon to open the door.]_

O: [laughs] Soundwave's like, "UH, the obvious, please?"  
_[Megatron: An excellent idea, Soundwave.]_

C: [laughs]

O: Because Soundwave is the best!

S: Because somehow, Dark Energon is your lock-picking tool of choice.

S: It's such a... such a useful, uh... space crack.

O: Space crack doesn't just make you FEEL like you can do anything  
_[Breakdown: Now what? How are we gonna beat this guy, Megatron?]_

O: it lets you do anything!  
_[Soundwave: During our approach to this sector,]_

 _[Soundwave: my scanners detected ion cannons near the top of the chasm wall.]_  
C: If it was a DND ability it would be like-

C: pick a door as if a thief, only use your strength stat instead of dexterity.  
_[Megatron: I see... We will lure Omega Supreme up there,]_

O: Yeah! Yeah!

 _[Megatron: and use the Autobot guns against him!]_  
S: [laughs]

S: [laughs] That's funny.  
O: Very, very accurate!

O: And I mean, does that not fit Megatron in a nutshell? I mean, let's be honest.  
_[Breakdown: I don't like it. It's too quiet.]_

 _[Breakdown: Why the cease-fire?]_  
S: Yeah, that's pretty 'Megatron'.

O: He- he doesn't know what picking a lock is, he just breaks the damn door down.

S: He takes it off- Well, yeah, Soundwave would either pick it or take it off its hinges.

O: I like that.  
S: Um, Megatron would just demolish it.

O: I-I like that-  
C: Breakdown [Knockout] would whine about not being able to open it until somebody blew it open for him.

O: Or he would like, try to out sex the door.  
C: [laughs]

S: [laughing] Out sex the door!

O: "Hey good looking, do you want to open up for me?" It would be something like that alright?

S: That's a bard move.  
C: [laughs]

O: Okay, I know he's a healer, but I'm just saying- I don't think he should be a cleric!

C: Wai- wai- wait, so Breakdown's [Knockout's] a bard,

C: Megatron is the player who's playing a fighter or a barbarian but has strong-armed the DM by threatening him several times

C: into using multiple home brew abilities that let Megatron's character do whatever he wants when he wants to.

S: [laughs]  
O: Yes! Yes! You know, essentially how I play DND.

C: [laughs]

O: Am I wrong?

 _[Soundwave: Megatron, I am receiving a Decepticon transmission.]_  
C: Soundwave is the one who's actually read all the rules and

O: Yes.

C: has min-maxed his character to be extremely specialized   
_[Starscream (COM): To all Decepticons who fight for the glory of Cybertron!]_

C: and no one appreciates it.

O: No one! No one! Like, the man has somehow wrangled out a summoner class-  
_[Starscream: Megatron has fallen! I Starscream, have taken my rightful]_

 _[Starscream: place as your leader!]_  
O: um, in like this, you know,

O: really basic rule set.  
_[Megatron: Starscream, you halfwit!]_

O: it makes total sense-  
_[Megatron: I still function...]_

O: everything is on the up and up.  
C: Yeah!  
_[Megatron: a fact that you shall regret,]_

O: But no. No one has uh, no one has done this, but him.  
_[Megatron: when I choke the life out of you! Now -- ]_

 _[Megatron: I order you to deploy ships for immediate evacuation!]_  
C: [laughs]

C: And like the the game- the game was never even intended to support a-  
_[Soundwave: Starscream cannot hear you, Megatron.]_

C: summoner class but he's made it work.  
_[Soundwave: All communication to the surface]_

O: Yeah! Yeah!  
_[Soundwave: has been jammed.]_

O: Because he is fucking Soundwave and Soundwave does what he wants,  
_[Megatron: Grrr! Let's head for that lift, before that idiot]_

O: but he does it legally!  
_[Megatron: Starscream causes irreparable harm.]_

S: I'm afraid that sort of um-  
O: I love that- Oh! Go ahead.

S: Sorry, I'm afraid that sort of reminds me of when I did the summoner dog.  
C: Oh, yeah.

_[Breakdown: Uh- oh... Here he comes!]_

C: Uh, for the audience: Specs played a dog at one point.  
_[Megatron: Keep moving, Decepticons! We need to reach that lift!]_

O: A talking dog. [laughs]

S: Whose name was- well... his name wasn't Rainbow

S: but he was an amnesiac and that's kind of what everyone called him,  
_[Soundwave: This lift will provide passage to the surface when activated.]_

S: despite him being a black dog.

C: Ah, so many elevators.  
_[Breakdown: What's wrong with this thing?]_

 _[Breakdown: Why can't we get it to move?]_  
S: They just love elevators.

_[Soundwave: The elevator is locked down.]_

_[Megatron: A simple solution, then. Break the locks!]_

C: [laughs] He does! He just breaks everything!  
O: Yeah, he's like, "I'm not gonna wait!"

_[Megatron: Starscream -- come in. This is Megatron.]_

O: [laughs]  
_[Soundwave: There is too much interference.]_

 _[Soundwave: We must move higher to relay your signal.]_  
O: "No, I'm fairly certain

O: he's just ignoring me, Soundwave." [laughs]  
_[Megatron: Can this feeble Autobot mechanism]_

 _[Megatron: not move any faster?!?]_  
C & O: [laughs]

 _[Megatron: It appears we've lost that dull-witted brute, Omega Supreme.]_  
C: "Too much interference? Break the interference!"

 _[Megatron: Not that he stood a chance against my intellect.]_  
O: "Uh, sir... that- that

O: would be the ceiling we need that."  
_[Breakdown: Uh, Megatron...]_

S: [laughs]  
_[Megatron: What? WHAT?]_

C: "The laws of physics won't allow it!" "Break the laws of physics!"  
_[Omega: Target: re-acquired. Weapons: engaging.]_

O: "Sir, that's not how any of this works."  
_[Breakdown: Wow...he looks REALLY angry.]_

O: Why am I getting Bayonetta vibes? [laughs]  
C: Yeah, that looks scary.

S: Yeah!  
C: What the heck is going on? Omega Supreme-

O: Uh, Omega Supreme is like, "I'm going to blow up everything."  
_[Omega: Target identification:]_

 _[Omega: Megatron, Decepticon leader.]_  
C: Can he not aim!?! Does he-

O: Apparently not!  
_[Omega: Recommendation:]_

C: What if he just pointed a little lower!?  
_[Omega: complete termination.]_

S: He may not be able to tell who they- or that  
_[Megatron: You think you can destroy me, Omega Supreme?]_

S: that's them.  
O: HA! Megs is pissed!

_[Megatron: You think you can destroy MEGATRON? ...Do your worst!]_

S: Or possibly he's just starting at the top and working his way down.  
C: Yeah, I think you're right.

C: Also, can we give props to Megatron for basically

C: laughing at the face of death in that laser?  
_[Breakdown: We're still alive? We're still alive!!]_

 _[Breakdown: ...What happened?]_  
O: Right, yeah like, I mean-

O: just like- "Oh, you think you can FUCKING kill me do you!?!  
_[Megatron: Open fire on the emergency locks! Destroy them!]_

O: DO YOU!?!" I'm like, that's- that's amazing.  
C: "You think that laser intimidates me?"

 _[Breakdown: Megatron -- all due respect, but are you CRAZY?]_  
O: "That laser that's bigger than my entire body is tall!?"

_[Breakdown: If we go out there, he'll melt us into scrap!_  
_Megatron: Would you rather face his wrath, or mine? Now jump!]_

O: [laughs] Sorry, I love how angry he is, about all of this. This is a huge inconvenience to him and he hates it. Also, where am I supposed to be going?

O: I have a feeling I went the wrong way.  
S: I think you turned around.

C: Oh, you're not supposed to go down?  
S: Well, maybe you are.

S: Oh. That looks... mmm.  
C: Explodable. [laughs]

_[Megatron: Move faster, Decepticons!]_

O: Megs, wanna tell me- can you give me a little bit more direction there?

S: You do appear to need to go down.  
O: Hello-

O: We need to go down in a this-a-way direction, apparently.

C: As the heavy metal rock music plays.   
O: It's his theme, alright?

C: Oh, Owls is using the game's worst weapon!  
O: Shut up, I don't have a lot of options.

C: Specs, you managed to make some use of the shotgun.

S: Maybe. Umm, prob- mostly by luck? It looks like there's some ammo?  
C: [laughs]

O: Yes, I'm loading my guns, so I get more ammo from them.  
S: Okie-dokie.

O: It won't load the clip you're using, essentially.  
C: Video game logic.

S: Ah.

_[Decepticon Grunt 2 Weeks Away From Retirement: Megatron -- you're still functional! Thank Primus we found you!]_

O: Welp, they're going to die. There we go.  
S: How did they get so far?

 _[Decepticon Grunt 2 Weeks Away From Retirement: AAAAAAA!!!]_  
O: I'm-

 _[Omega: Decepticons: Located.]_  
O: I-

C: Did... Omega Supreme just eat them with his hand?  
_[Breakdown: He's trying to grab us!]_

O: Uh... yeah. Yeah.  
S: Yeah.

_[Megatron: Stop whining and start shooting, Breakdown!]_

C: Oh!

O: I think my question is- he's blowing up so much stuff   
_[Breakdown: Omega Supreme's right on our tails!]_

O: that I'm like, how is he gonna know  
_[Breakdown: There's got to be some way to shake him!]_

O: when he kills Megatron, anyway!? [laughs]  
_[Megatron: Move back inside! Perhaps we can avoid Omega's]_

C: Yeah, maybe that's why he didn't aim when you were on the elevator.  
_[Megatron: tracking systems.]_

O: Yeah... maybe.  
_[Soundwave: Fortified Autobot position located]_

C: He just didn't know.  
_[Soundwave: straight ahead.]_

_[Soundwave: Jamming Autobot scanners now.]_

O: Ugh, all of my options are terrible!  
_[Soundwave: Our approach should be undetected.]_

O: I- I just want my sniper rifle back guys, I just- I just need my sniper rifle.  
C: [laughs]

O: I don't know what to do with myself without it.  
_[Megatron: They must be coordinating with Omega Supreme,]_

O: I don't remember what this is, but I guess I'll try it...  
_[Megatron: trying to locate us. Well, we'll give them what]_

S: It's a mini gun, so it's prob- more like a gatling gun I think?  
_[Megatron: they want... along with a painful death!]_

O: Ah.

O: I love that Soundwave is like, motioning me forward.

O: I don't know why, it makes me laugh.  
_[Megatron: Megatron has arrived!]_

_[Autobot Grunt 1: What's going on!?!_  
_Autobot Grunt 2: Someone's breaking in!]_

_[Autobot Grunt 2: Assume defensive positions!]_

C: Ah, here we go- a true fire fight!

O: It's very much the spray and pray sort of... thing.

C: So it's a Specs' gun.

S: Ehhhhhhhhh....

C: [laughs]

S: ...yeah, I guess.

C: Hey, there's nothing wrong with spray and pray!

S: Yes, but the problem is I'm just- I am not good at first- I'm not good at shooting games.

_[Breakdown: Now you're talkin'! Weapons ready!]_

C: Eh, it can take some practice.

[ _Autobot Grunt: Weapons overheating!]_  
S: Yeah, I don't know and I just-

C: [incoherent] frustrating things.

S: Yeah, I don't play uh, honestly, games consistently enough... to get better at it- better at them so it's...

_[Megatron: Excellent work, Soundwave now unlock the exit door.]_

O: Hmph, what'd you say honey? Soundwave still being the brains of the operation?

C: I mean, generally speaking he is.

C: In G1, uh, he certainly seemed to be the guy with all the plans.  
S: Yeah.

C: Although his- let's be real- Soundwave- early, early days

C: of Soundwave he needed to work on his operation names.  
_[Breakdown: These guys don't know when to quit, do they?]_

 _[Megatron: Smash through them!]_  
O: [laughs] Yeah...

C: It was like- it was like, "Operation: Make a Tidal Wave." [laughs]  
O: Yeah.

C: "Operation-

O: -Destruction.  
C: "Open the Door".

S: "Operation: Ground Pound."  
C: Yeah! [laughs]

S: Though that may be a song name.

O: I don't think he ever actually did that one, but- but the problem is- that doesn't sound like one he *wouldn't* do?

C: Right.  
S: It sounds like something that Rumble and Frenzy would be involved in.

C: [laughs]  
O: Oh, DEFINITELY! As they are with most bad plans.

S: Yeah.  
C: Like, I would never want him to use code words, or attempt to use code words

C: because it would be like he'd code- he'd code word things the way that Megamind code words things.

O & S: [laugh]

O: Yes! He absolutely would.  
C: He'd be like, "Code: I'm going to go make coffee."

O: [laughs] Yeah!

S: "Code: Spy Mission."  
C: "Code: The Autobots will never suspect I'm sneaking up on them."

O: "The Autobots will never suspect I am in Ironhide's backseat."

C: [laughs]

O: You think I'm kidding.  
C: Well, to be fair though, they wouldn't! Even if they heard him say it.

C: The Autobots, are completely inept.  
O: Dude, they- they saw him

O: and they didn't do anything! I think that's the one that really kills me, is I'm like

O: that is clearly Soundwave! And no one is doing anything about him being RIGHT THERE!

O: It hurts my brain, okay!  
S: Yeah...

C: Yeah, I think the episode you guys just uh, did that I edited- 33 Berserk or something?

O: Auto Berserk.  
C: I'm pretty sure Soundwave...

S: Yeah, that's the one where Soundwave was in um, the back of Ironhide's-

O: No it wasn't.  
S: No?

O: Uh, the one he just did, the one we released today was the one where it was the military guys because

O: they were trying- because the Cons were trying to uh, uh, steal that 'thing' the Autobots had come up with.

C: The Negaverse!

O: The Negavator or whatever.  
S: That is Auto Berserk.

O: Yes, but- but he's not in the backseat of Iron- he's not in Ironhide. He's just outside and one of the military guys says, "Don't forget your tape deck."

S: Oh.  
O: Yeah.

C: [laughs] Oh right, that tape deck I never had.  
O: Yeah! Yeah!

C: Specs, don't you also just walk around and be like, "Oh, that tape deck I never had."

O: Are- are there just... orphan tape decks must just be a problem in uh...  
_[Soundwave: Megatron, the Autobot security systems are counter the effect of]_

_[Soundwave: Dark Energon.]_

_[Megatron: A futile gesture.]_  
S: A very expen-

 _[Megatron: Decepticons! Destroy the sentries!]_  
O: In universe because like, he's- so many people take Soundwave home.

S: A very expensive problem. They're obviously- obviously the reason people take him is because it's like,

S: "Ooh, fancy tape deck I don't have to buy something now for like fifty dollars."  
_[Breakdown: Watch out! Omega's mining the road ahead!]_

O: Yeah.  
S: Or more.

O: Much more expensive at the time.

C: Yeah, that's a good point. It'd be kind of more like finding a laptop- a laptop or a cell phone these days.

  
C & O: Yeah.  
S: Cuz-

O: Bigger than that. I think like, 128 or something. Something fairly large.

S: Yeah, I mean, he's basically engaging in passive social engineering.  
_[Breakdown: HahaHAA! Did you see me back there?]_

C: [laughs] Wait, what?  
_[Breakdown: Omega couldn't touch me!]_

S: When Soundwave is just hanging out as a tape deck  
_[Soundwave: Megatron -- scanners indicate a bridge nearby.]_

S: waiting for people to pick him up he's engaging in passive social engineering.  
_[Soundwave: Crossing there will give us access to a second elevator.]_

S: Basically, it's his method of infiltration.  
_[Breakdown: Another elevator?]_

C: Okay.  
S: He does it in the comics.

O: A lot.

 _[Breakdown: I don't know... the last one didn't work out so well.]_  
S: Like he literally- yeah.

 _[Megatron: Do not test me, Breakdown. My patience is a critical low.]_  
S: He hangs out in, um...

O: [laughs] I'm using that at some point, "My patience is at a critical low!"  
C & S: [laugh]

_[Megatron: This will channel my rage!]_

S: Soundwave hangs out in at least one parking lot and military contractors decide to pick him up,

S: take him into their secure military base, and then put him in uh, their locker.  
C: I got it.

S: And then he transforms and basically goes ham on the military base.

C: Owls finally has her sniper gun.  
O: It's not the good one. I want the Null Ray!

C: We can't all have the Null Ray.

 _[Breakdown: We're pinned down!]_  
O: Yeah, and Starscream has clearly

O: taken his back and is now pretending he doesn't hear me. [laughs]  
_[Megatron: Starscream, do you read me?]_

S: [laughs] Yeah.  
_[Starscream: Megatron? You're alive?]_

C: He sounds... disappointed.  
_[Megatron: Spare me your theatrics!]_

O: [laughs]  
_[Megatron: I need immediate air support! Attack Omega Supreme!]_

O: "Spare me your theatrics!"

C: Ouch.  
_[Omega: New targets: Acquired.]_

C: Wait, Omega Supreme FLIES!?  
_[Omega: Initiating: Pursuit.]_

O: YES! That's why knocking him off   
S: Yeah.

O: the bridge was so wildly ineffective!  
_[Megatron: There, Omega Supreme is distracted!]_

C: Oh, right, right.

 _[Megatron: Attack the Autobots!]_  
S: I mean, he basically turns into a spaceship.

C: Yeah!

S: Though don't ask me how he works because like, bits of him detach in G1.

S: And I'm not familiar enough with this um, version to uh...  
_[Megatron: Target the repair sentries, or we'll never destroy these Autobots!]_

C: Yeah.

O: Oh fuck. [laughs]

S: Oh.  
C: Oh no!

O: Well, something was shooting me.

O: Again the whole, 'I can't see my own health when I am uh-  
_[Soundwave: Megatron -- scanners indicate a bridge nearby.]_

C: Yeah.  
_[Soundwave: Crossing there]_

O: Yeah, not- not great.  
_[Soundwave: will give us access to a second elevator.]_

O: Are you a Null Ray now? No? No. I can dream.  
_[Breakdown: Another elevator? I don't know... the last one didn't work out so well.]_

_[Megatron: Do not test me, Breakdown. My patience is at a critical low.]_

C: That-  
S: Your patience is always at a critical low, Megatron.

C: [laughs]  
O: Okay, but also

O: Starscream is ignoring him and they're being chased by something the size of a size- a skyscraper for THEM.

C: Oh yeah, that's a good point   
O: Okay, maybe not a skyscraper, but HUGE all right, he's huge!

S: Yeah.  
[Breakdown: We're pinned down!]

C: So if it's the size of a skyscraper for them, what would that be like for us?  
_[Megatron: Starscream, do you read me?]_

S: Umm...  
O: Oh god, so big.

C: Like, a mountain?

S: Mmm, maybe... I don't know.  
C: It's hard to put into perspective in your mind.

S: Five or six empire state buildings stacked on top of each other?  
C & O: [laugh]

O: Wow that is-  
C: What's bigger than a skyscraper? Five skyscrapers!

A: [laugh]  
S: I don't know. What's the tallest building in the world? Let's go with like, five of that.

C: [laughs]

C: I- I don't actually know what the tallest building the world is.

C: Is it- is the Eiffel tower-  
O: I think- is it in Dubai?

O: I want to say it's in Dubai.  
S: Yeah, I think there's one- I think it's in Dubai, but I don't know what it called.

C: Gotcha.  
O: Are all the heal things dead now!?

S: Oh, I don't really see anything uh, hitting him that could heal him.

C: Wow, those guys are just uh, bullet sponges.  
S: Yeah.

C: Wait! What? You have something with a scope that's automatic?  
S: Oh, I guess that is-

O: Yeah, I don't like this one very well. It's my least favorite scoped weapon.

C: I'm sorry Specs wha- uh what were you saying?

S: Yeah, it did look like there was a healing thing.  
_[Megatron: [laughs manically] For glory!]_

O: This is I think, Bumblebee's default weapon?  
C: So what is that, like an assault rifle?

S: Oh.  
C: Oh, it's Bumblebee's default?

O: Yeah, one of his, that's why I end up using Bumblebee in the Autobot campaign.  
C: Gotcha.

O: Because I don't like this one, but it's better than a lot of the other defaults.  
C: It's better than nothing.

O: Yeah, it's better than no scope.  
C: Ha! No scope!

C: Sorry, uh... you know the whole nose- no scope 360?  
O: Oh my god, you stupid Autobot!

C: Oh great, he's taunting you.  
S: He's just dancing.

O: [laughs] I'm just like, he is just is constantly going back and forth- the frick!?!

S: Oh, it's crotch shot time.  
O: Aim for the crotch! Aim for the crotch!

C: [laughs] I love it because this whole fight started out with you unloading like, the- an entire clip of a minigun into him.

C: And then you were like, "Okay, all these other guys are more important," and he's just been down there like, "Umm... what do I do?"

S: The thing is, that's not a Omega Supreme. That's one of the people that he deployed.

C: Yeah.

C: It's just a... a bigger guy but not as big as Supreme.  
S: Yeah.

S: Like, I think in

S: Cyberverse that might be what Astrotrain's size is supposed to be, but I'm not sure  
O: Damn.

S: because I haven't gotten to that point yet.   
C: I love the name 'Astrotrain,' I don't even know why. 

S: He's a train that's also a spaceship what's not to love?  
C: Yeah!

O: I just find it funny that you're like, all of your favorite ones are bugs.  
C: Oh yeah, no, Astrotrain's got nothing on the Insecticons.

O: Or Inferno?  
C: Oh, and none of the other Insecticons have anything on Inferno.

C: Inferno is the- is the cream of the crop.

O: Great, I'm like, completely out of ammo.

C: "Pain is my friend!" He's the best.

S: Well, that guy's down.  
C: Oh wow.

O: Well, I think Soundwave or Breakdown did me a solid.

O: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!  
C: [laughs]

O: [laughs] Okay, I don't care. I don't care. I really don't care. I'm just happy I've got my Null Ray back.

C: "Oh hey, did you know there's a Null Ray over there?"

S: [laughs]  
O: Yeah, you know what? Knockout- not Knockout- goddammit.

O: Breakdown saw it, didn't say a damn word. Because it didn't register it being important because he- he's kind of a dumbass here, not gonna lie.

S: Well, I think most of the Stunticons are generally considered to be not uh...

S: Not the brightest.  
O: I've got Null Rays for days, guys. That one's also a Null Ray! [laughs]

C: Oh my goodness.  
S: Nice.

O: [laughs] I'm just glad I got 'em. It's- it's really funny

C: Yeah, Breakdown kind of comes off as the  
_[Megatron: I shall lead the way!]_

C: whiny little brother who is gonna talk like they

C: can do everything without your help and then the moment they run into the most minimal of

C: obstacles they whine and cry because they can't get through it until you help them.

_[Megatron: Bow in the presence of Megatron!]_

O: Seriously, there was a 5x scope but no, I had to pick up that other one.

O: Okay guys, where are you?

 _[Autobot Grunt: Decepticons, ahead!]_  
S: Over there, I guess.

S: Oh.

C: What do we call those ones?  
O: I don't know.

C: Halo boys? Uh... bishop boys?  
O: Maybe, maybe,

O: I'm gonna need something to call them in the transcript that works as well as anything else.

 _[Megatron: Move quickly! The bridge terminal is just ahead!]_  
C: They have little like, rings over their head.

O: Yeah-  
S: For some reason...

S: Yeah, I don't know they kind of remind me of Brawn  
_[Breakdown: There's Omega again!]_

S: a little bit but I don't have a good reason for that.  
_[Breakdown: He's getting ahead of us!]_

O: It's the kind of bulky shoulders, maybe?

 _[Breakdown: Omega found us again! We can't go that way... what do we do now?!?]_  
C: I feel like this walkway would just be a nice place to casually still stroll through

C: during a non-war scenario.  
_[Soundwave: Mapping alternate route now.]_

S: Yeah.  
_[Megatron: Let's get off this road and out of the open.]_

 _[Megatron: We will find another way!]_  
C: The glass window was nice.

S: I mean, honestly, we never see anything that even looks-  
_[Breakdown: A dead end! Megatron, we're trapped!]_

 _[Megatron: Soundwave! You led us to this place. What is your explanation?]_  
S: I mean, I know this is probably supposed to be a military facility

_[Soundwave: Scans reveal poor structural integrity]_

C: But we never see anything like a- a storage room  
_[Soundwave: surrounding this maintenance access door.]_

C: or a- or a break area or something like that.  
_[Soundwave: Megatron -- these are Iacon power maintenance tunnels.]_

S: Yeah. Storage room, break areas um, um, barracks?  
_[Soundwave: Moving through them will lead to the bridge terminal.]_

O: A normal office? You- you know that- that people have to be office workers here or something. 

S: Yeah, or even like a commissary. Well, I mean I guess technically that would be the

S: energon or like a med bay or even any place to- where you'd go and like... 

S: get entertainment.  
C & O: Yeah.

S: Or refreshments or-  
C: Or you know-

S: There's still going to be some sort of store, effectively. At least I'd assume so.  
C: Wha- what is it called? An energon bed?

S: Uh...  
C: [laughs]

O: I don't think the beds actually have names, you know?  
C: The- the nap in a bottle?

S: Recharge slab?  
O: Yeah! Those. I'm just dumb don't listen to me.

C: Recharge slab? Sounds terrifying.

S: I don't know, there's a bunch of different-  
O: "YOU MUST RECHARGE IN YOUR SLAB!"

S: Uh, berth? I could never- there's a bunch of different names. I don't actually remember what the...

S: I think they're circuit slabs in IDW.  
O: Oh.

S: IDW 1, um...

O: Yeah, you know cause there's two,

O: you know, just to make that more confusing for people.  
_[Breakdown: Oh no, you're not messing up this face!]_

C: [laughs] For the non-initiated like myself.

_[Autobot Grunt: Nooooooo!]_

O: Pft, I'm sorry that is still the dumbest death noise!  
C: That was like an action movie shot 

C: too. You like, shot him and he flew off into the lava... or well, the edge or whatever.  
O: HA!

S: I mean honestly-  
O: Sorry-

O: it wasn't red so he wasn't sure he could hit him. So it always brings me great joy when I can hit them. [laughs]

S: Mm.

S: Like, if one of these areas was...

S: like, if you were getting something from something- er, place that was you know, like

S: not a military facility but was more of a public area? Like, you never se- I don't- for some reason I just 

S: anticipate seeing something that would be more like a shopping area or something and 

S: I don't think they do that.  
O: Yeah.

C: Yeah.  
O: Well and like, I guess the the most like,

O: room that didn't seem war oriented that we've seen yet has really been the room with all the moons in the last chapter?

C: Oh, yeah.  
S: Yeah.

C: I mean... I don't have a perfect recollection of it but didn't-

C: didn't number two [Fall of Cybertron] change up the locales a little bit?  
_[Breakdown: Look out! Sentries above us!]_

O: A little bit. Like, you're in this like- you're in some ancient 

O: ruins and a few other things. Which is pretty neat!  
C: Yeah, cuz I think- didn't you go to a museum at some point?

O: Ah, it wasn't a museum but I know where you're talking about  
S: Uh-

O: and why you thought it was a museum.  
_[Soundwave: Caution:]_

 _[Soundwave: any contact with the energy beams will cause severe]_  
C: "You belong in a museum!"

[Soundwave: systems damage.  
_Autobot Grunt: [screams]]_

C: Oh geez! That guy got vaporized!  
_[Breakdown: You want us to go through that power conduit?]_

_[Breakdown: No way! The Energon flow is off the charts we'll be fried!_  
_Megatron: Get moving, Breakdown!]_

C: [laughs]  
O: I- I'm good with waiting until like, after it goes again.

O: I mean, like, I know what I just said but I'm not a complete idiot .

O: Because I'm pretty sure it goes every couple of minutes, yeah. Or- er, seconds, whatever.

C: Well, actually that was a couple astro-minutes!  
O: Oh no- no, no, no.

S: [laughs]  
C: Depending on the fact-

O: No-no-no-no-no. [laughs]  
C: [laughs]

S: Okay, time to jet!  
C: Oh, that is not good!

C: Three, two one- [laughs]  
O: Oh, come on, move!

O: Not what I meant to do!

C: I'm not entirely convinced that your allies made it through.  
S: Yeah... yeah.

O: Oh god- stop shooting at me!  
C: Oh no!

O: There we go!

O: Oh thank you sweet health.  
S: I kinda want cake.

O: Cake?  
C: [laughs] You're in the middle of a Cybertronian war and

C: the first thing you think of is cake.  
S: [laughs]

C: Or not the first thing but...  
_[Breakdown: Move out of the tube or you'll get fried!]_

C: Oh no!  
O: SHIT!!! I messed up! I have made a mistake. [laughs]

C: Oh, I thought you're gonna live.  
O: I thought I just watched it go! I think this one you have to let it 

O: go twice though or something. Oh, Soundwave you're beautiful if- if I had a kiss button I would use it.

S: [laughs]  
O: [laughs] Mwah!

S: Press 'G'- uh, press 'K' for kiss?

O: That sounds like a Tina... a Tina thing. (From Bob's Burgers.)

S: Press- press-  
C: Press uh, press 'B' to show platontic affection.

O: Oh, that's why, it's right here, sorry.  
S: Press 'F' to pay respects.

C & S: [laugh]

O: I think it's more like, you know, press 'A' to- to tell Soundwave he's the best subordinate ever.

C: That's- that's an Owls mod that's-

O: Yeah, it definitely is.  
C: That's only a feature of the game after Owls modes the game.

O: Yeah... What- what am I doing? Where's the button. There's the button!

C: Specs, wasn't here to push the button.  
O: Yeah, yeah I'm not used to it, alright?

O: Oh no!

 _[Soundwave: Tube temperature will soon be fatal.]_  
C: Wow, they really make you move fast.

O: Ahahaha! I did it! Like, it was you know, *so amazing.*  
_[Soundwave: The bridge is just ahead. It may be necessary to extend the tube by]_

_[Soundwave: accessing the bridge controls.]_

_[Breakdown: I don't like it, Megatron. It's too quiet.]_  
O: Thank you, Soundwave. Shut up Knockout [Breakdown].

 _[Megatron: And yet still preferable to your incessant chatter.]_  
O: [laughs]

 _[Megatron: Now get to those controls!]_  
C: Yikes!

O: He didn't say that to Soundwave, he just said it to Breakdown. And I called him

O: Knockout again, I'm sorry. You know who I mean.  
_[Breakdown: Did you see that? Those Autobots were CLOAKED!]_

O: Oh, that's why I can't see them.

C: That's the invisible ones, huh? I really did not like fighting these guys.

O: Me neither.

O: There always- there always feels like there's SO many of them!

S: Yeah, and I mean, oft- there have to be barracks or something considering how many...

S: Just how many Autobots there are.  
O: Yeah.

C: You'd think.  
O: Something.

O: Okay, is there health over here? Because I'm needing it!

C: Oh wow.  
O: Thank you!

C: Kind of amazed you lived through that.  
O: Me too!

_[Megatron: My rule is destruction!]_

C: So, I've been trying to keep an eye out for it while Owls has been playing but 

C: Specs, have you seen any of the uh, Autobot symbols?  
O: Oh, I shot one earlier! [laughs]

C: Oh, did I miss it?  
S: Yeah, there was one a- a few minutes ago.

C: Dwah!  
S: Then there's one there.

O: Oh! Well, that's not the one you shoot.  
S: Ah.

O: Or are you talking about something else?

S: Sorry, I was thinking about the doors. Oh, EMP mine.  
C: Reboot! 404 blue screen.

O: [laughs]

O: The uh, image of an Autobot bluescreening is really funny to me right now.

S: Well... you know Swindle would blue screen if someone suggested you give them something for free unless 

S: it was Megatron in which case, Swindle would have-  
O: "Yes, sir! Please take it, please take it, sir. I don't need it anyway!"

S: "I got it for you, sir! As a present!"  
O: Something like that.

C: The only thing that Swindle would give someone for free is an IOU.  
S: [laughs]

 _[Megatron: Activate the bridge!]_  
S: Yeah.

O: Only after we find ammo ya dumbshit!  
C: [laughs]

O: This is how I would actually die, is calling Megatron a dumbshit. [laughs]

O: Okay, you're still not ammo. But maybe if you're something you'll give me some ammo? No, I'm good.

C: Love that name 'Scrapmaker.'  
O: Yeah, it's a pretty- it's pretty good name because 

O: it's like the Cybertronian equivalent of the 'Widowmaker'.

S: Yeah....  
C: Right.

S: Or corpse maker.  
O: Yeah.

C: Oh, Megatron is uh-  
O: What do they have to do? Like, reach into your brain to activate that, or what?

C & O: [laugh]

S: You might have to like, do an uplink to it, I don't know.  
_[Soundwave: The bridge is extended.]_

 _[Soundwave: We now have access to the other side.]_  
C: Oh, I guess that makes sense.

_[Megatron: Finally.]_

_[Megatron: Decepticons -- move quickly.]_  
S: They're robots.

C: Yeah.  
_[Megatron: We must reach those guns!]_

C: Maybe it'd be the equivalent of like, a- well, no it wouldn't be quite the equivalent of a retina scan because retina scan is biotic to machine.

C: We don't really do anything that's biotic to biotic.

_[Breakdown: At least get me out of the blast range!]_

_[Breakdown: There's Omega Supreme! Watch out..._  
_Megatron: Faster, Decepticons!]_

O: You're the slowest one here, buddy.  
C: [laughs]

O: I'm sorry but ya are!

 _[Breakdown: Heads up! More mines!]_  
C: Who keeps putting these things in here?

S: The Autobots?

 _[Breakdown: Is Omega still out there? Did we lose him?]_  
O: How- how do you think they control speed?

O: Like, these are speed traps, baby!  
C: [laughs]

S: They're kind of shitty speed traps.

 _[Breakdown: Guess not.]_  
O: Well, I mean, you would pay attention to the speed limit. If you didn't would explode.

C: [laughs]  
S: Okay, that's not so much a shitty one.

C: I mean that's a good point I'd have to imagine that people would  
_[Breakdown: We're not going to make it!]_

C: be more willing to follow the speed limit if the other result was DEATH.  
_[Megatron: You WILL reach the other side, or I'll have your head!]_

C: I think Owls thinks the objective is to run into as many of them as she can.  
O: "We will reach the other side or I will kill you!"

O: I don't remember if this was the right thing to do! [laughs]  
C: Oh god.

S: Looked like, yes!  
O: Apparently, it was.

C: When in doubt.

O: When in doubt, just keep fucking going!  
_[Breakdown: We made it! I can't believe it! WE MADE IT!]_

C: [laughs]  
_[Megatron: Yes, Breakdown_

 _[Megatron: your constant whining saw us through.]_  
C: Who do you have a picture up on your wall?

C: Right next to you. Right now.

 _[Soundwave: Megatron -- the second cargo elevator is nearby.]_  
C: Of- of the the robot that says, "Just get it done!"

 _[Soundwave: It will take us directly to the heavy ion turrets.]_  
O: [laughs] It doesn't say, "Just get it-"

S: Ultra Magnus?  
O: Yeah

O: I've got a picture of Ultra Magnus and Minimus.  
_[Megatron: Perfect. We shall ascend, and Omega Supreme will follow..._

 _[Megatron: to his destruction.]_  
C: It- it sounds like, it's that- in line with that.

C: When in doubt, get it fucking done!  
O: [laughs] I mean...

O: Kind of... maybe?

_[Autobots: [Growling noises]]_

O: Is this more invisible fuckers?  
_[Megatron: More cloaked Autobots!]_

O: GOD DAMN IT.  
_[Megatron: Destroy them!]_

S: Yeah...  
_[Megatron: Shoot anything that moves!]_

C: [laughs]

O: Yeah, I could be done with these! You guys can take care of them, I don't care anymore!

O: And I'm legitimately curious what's over here but...

_[Soundwave: Autobot cloakers.]_

S: Unfortunately, there is no cake.

_[Megatron: All Autobots shall perish!]_

C: Oh no, no cake.

O: "Megatron wants MEGA CAKE!"  
S: [laughs]

C: You know for being invisible they aren't terribly crafty.  
S: Mmm.

O: Yeah, I know, right? Like, you would probably want to utilize different strategy than this.

C: "We're invisible! Let's charge right at them!"

C: They were just putting on a concert! That's the stage!  
O: No, no

C: Didn't you see that one dancing?  
O: it's a service elevator.

C: Wow that one died really quickly.

 _[Megatron: Autobot weaklings. Onward, to the lift!]_  
O: I hit it with the- I hit it with a mace.

O: I'm good.

O: So many elevators!

O: Why are there so many elevators!?  
C: Well, like Specs said-

C: Like Specs said, gotta reuse those assets!

O: [laughs]  
S: Yeah...

_[Soundwave: Megatron -- I detect numerous Decepticon and Autobot signals a few dozen meters above us.]_

_[Soundwave: We are nearing the surface battle.]_

_[Megatron: Starscream! Status report!]_  
S: A few dozen meters...

_[Starscream (COM): The Autobots are counter-attacking!]_

_[Starscream (COM): Retreat! Decepticons, retreat!]_  
S: And how tall are they? How many meters tall are they?

C: [laughs]  
_[Megatron: BELAY THAT ORDER!]_

O: They're space meters, Specs.  
_[Megatron: Decepticons, this is MEGATRON!]_

C: [laughs]  
_[Megatron: Anyone caught fleeing this battle will be]_

S: Space meters!  
_[Megatron: marked on sight!]_

C & O: [laugh]  
_[Megatron: Press your attack IMMEDIATELY!]_

O: Goddamit, Megatron!  
_[Starscream (COM): Attack? But Megatron -]_

_[Megatron: Especially you, Starscream!]_

_[Megatron: I order you to continue the assault! Megatron out!]_  
O: [laughs]

C: "Especially YOU, Starscream!"

O: "You pissed me off by ignoring me, asshole!"

_[Megatron: We've reached the ion turrets. Now-- let Omega Supreme come!]_

_[Autobot: Target the Seekers! Get those Decepticons out of the sky!]_

_[Breakdown: Looks like the Autobots are still using these guns, Megatron. Our Seekers are getting shredded.]_

C: [laughs] Oh dear.  
_[Megatron: Blast the Autobots and take those guns!]_

C: So Specs, if there was going to be a commissary,

C: would it be in one of these buildings out here?  
_[Megatron: Decepticons, follow me!]_

S: Um, maybe?

S: There's an awful lot of like uh, weapons and placements for a commissary.

C: That's true. I've always wondered why these weapons are here?

C: Like, I suppose-  
O: Maybe they were installed later, like after the war started?

C: That would make sense.  
S: Maybe? It's just the thing is like,

S: it's a good 'dungeon' effectively, but I'm not sure what the point of any of these are because 

S: there aren't any offices right or anything.  
C: Right.

C: I mean maybe- maybe that is the answer is

C: that these locations have been just converted into a war zone.

C: Although, I do feel like it's a missed opportunity. I think it would be pretty cool if you like, had

C: to fight in a library or something. You could even throw a  
O: The archives.

C: Right- right- right.  
O: I think you actually go into the archives in the Autobot level if that makes you feel any better?

C: Oh, okay. Yeah, a little bit.

S: Yeah, that's interesting. I didn't know that.

O: I might be misremembering, but I'm pretty sure that's where you fight Soundwave and his gremlins. [NOPE. I'm very wrong, I'm thinking of the prison level. ~O]

C: Gremlins?

S: Uh, Rumble and Frenzy, I think?  
O: Yes!

C: [laughs]  
O: They are TINY! They're like half your height and like

O: you have to attack them.  
C: And you don't want to feed them after midnight.

O: Yes! Well, I-  
C: You don't want to feed them Energon after midnight.

O: Uh, mistake!

O: Fuck you, whoever's shooting at me.

C: Like, uh, Ravage, Buzzsaw-

O: Say that again? You cut out.  
C: Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, so they- what are they called, minicons?

O: They're- well, minicons, the cassettes, either.  
S: Yeah. 

C: So out of- out of the ones that we know of, which one would be Gizmo?

S: Gizmo?  
O: Uh, from Gremlins.

S: Oh.

C: Oh, sorry-  
O: I- I don't think any of them are, sweetie.

C: Fair enough.  
O: [laughs] They're all just little- little gremlins.

O: Oh my god, I hate you ALL.

C: There's quite a lot of fire going on right now.  
S: Yeah.

S: I mean heck the way this is outside this looks like it could be

S: say, an outdoor shopping arcade or something, maybe. Which...

O: Well, that works.  
_[Megatron: Suitable for one such as Megatron!]_

S: Makes me wonder like, whether the um...

S: say the medical packets, would be something like, whatever Energon goodies would be.

C: Yeah.  
O: Maybe?

_[Soundwave: Megatron-- analysis indicates the firepower of those turrets is sufficient to damage Omega Supreme.]_

_[Breakdown: Speaking of Omega Supreme...]_  
C: Well, Specs did say that the Nucleon

C: stuff was crazy powerful, so that kind of makes sense.  
_[Megatron: Precisely as I had planned. Decepticons!]_

S: Yeah.  
_[Megatron: Man the turrets, and blast that obsolete hulk out of the sky!]_

S: Like, Nucleon was kind of the original Dark Energon  
_[Omega: Targets: re-acquired. Attack: commencing.]_

S: plot wise for G1.  
_[Omega: Decepticons: prepare for destruction.]_

C: Okay.  
O: Oh god! Why- why can he blast through the wall? 

O: Why-why can he pass through the wall guys!?!  
C: He has no clip turned on.

S: [laughs]  
O: That- that is cheating. 

C: [laughs]

C: You expect Megatron Supre- er, Omega Supreme to play fair!?! I can't-  
O: Yes! You're a goddamn Autobot.

_[Megatron: Decepticons! Repair your leader at once!_  
_Omega: Rockets: Activated.]_

O: Yeah, Soundwave buddy, where are you!?

_[Soundwave: That was extremely inefficient.]_

_[Soundwave: You must commence repairs on me at once.]_

O: Soundwave, heal me!

_[Megatron: Yes, this is a true instrument of destruction!]_

O: Oh god.  
C: He's too excited about that turret.

O: Well, I'm gonna die so what's- what's Soundwave gonna do then?  
_[Megatron: Attack, Decepticons!]_

 _[Megatron: We defeat Omega Supreme here or we die trying!]_  
C: Uh... stab Dark Energon into you in the hopes that it resurrects you?

O: I mean, I suppose that's still a better option than what Starscream did, sure.

S: Yeah.

O: Seriously, ahaha, sweet god- health!

C: So here's a thought, where is Starscream during all this?

O: Uh, up in the air fighting or he ran away  
_[Megatron: Homing rockets! Take cover!]_

O: uh, because he didn't want to die. One of those two.

O: I think there were other guns, I should probably get up there and use those, huh?

O: Hmmm, this is too high.

_[Soundwave: According to my calculations, our chances of defeating Omega Supreme are... very low.]_

C: Oh, you're dealing damage now.

O: Oh, dammit- I keep using the wrong button!

C: Mm, now you're mobile.  
O: I'm using a controller not a keyboard so

O; those buttons aren't the actual buttons for me.

C: Yeah.

 _[Megatron: Decepticons! Omega Supreme has deployed Aerialbots!]_  
C: So, on a normal day what would uh,

 _[Megatron: Shoot them down!]_  
C: what would Omega Supreme's functions be?

O: Well, he protected the Crystal City in the original G1.  
S: Yeah.

S: Like, um, he was a guardian robot?  
_[Breakdown: Are we making any progress at all here? I can't tell!]_

O: Yeah, like, they would protect uh, cities.

S: Yeah, in Animated they were made specifically, I think, for fighting the Decepticons. Um...

O: Yeah, they definitely were.

S: And they weren't especially- I don't think they were supposed to be esp-

S: particularly smart, but I don't it's been a while-  
O: They were basically *only* weapons

S: Yeah.  
C: Gotcha.

_[Omega: Target: re-acquired. Weapons: engaging.]_

O: But yeah, in G1, Omega Supreme was the protector of a city, essentially.  
S: Yeah.

S: And uh, that's uh, the Constructi-  
O: That frequently is his function.

S: Yeah.

O: And I believe it was in the IDW comics as well?  
_[Megatron: Omega Supreme's main weapon batteries are charging!]_

_[Megatron: Prepare for evasive action!]_

S: I... think so too, but I don't actually remember.   
O: Yes! I hit the right button!

_[Soundwave: I continue to require maintenance.]_

C: It's kind of a neat idea. Just that uh,

C: you have these robots which are already big, and even though they're larger than life

C: compared to us they themselves uh, utilize-  
O: Live in a world where they can be significantly smaller than...

O: than like, the other things around them.  
C: Right, they build their own versions of what are essentially our fantasy golems

C: to protect them.

_[Autobot: AHHHHHHHHH!]_

C: There's your death cry, Owls.  
O: Yeah, there it is again.

O: I'm gonna be not very nice. I think his spaceship form is kind of dumb? [laughs]

 _[Megatron: Your power is failing, Omega. Soon you shall bend to my will!]_  
C: it kind of looks like a giant eyeball that's just floating out in space.

O: Yeah, yeah, like, it's not... it's not great, alright?

C: I know they wanted to make this a fancy boss fight and everything but like,  
_[Soundwave: Warning! Sensors indicate Omega Supreme]_

 _[Soundwave: is powering up his primary beam weapon!]_  
C: I kind of feel like it would make more- if he's gonna turn into like a flying thing 

C: it would make more sense if he turned into an aircraft. Like a flying aircraft carrier?

S: Uh, he kinda is?  
O: Yeah-

C: Really? Am I just not seeing it?

S: Well, he deployed all of those dudes.  
O: Yeah, he is deploying them.

C: Oh, he is?

C: Oh my goodness, you're right! I just never even noticed!  
_[Soundwave: Megatron -- sensors indicate Autobot fliers incoming.]_

O: My name is Chezni, and I do not notice things. [laughs]

C: [sighs] I do tend to miss obvious things.  
_[Soundwave: Scanners indicate Omega Supreme's power levels are dropping.]_

_[Soundwave: Omega Supreme approaches!]_

O: Dead yet, Omega?

S: Uh, no.  
_[Soundwave: Caution:_

O: I know.  
_[Soundwave: We are being tracked]_

C: [laughs]  
_[Soundwave: by multiple explosive projectiles.]_

S: He's got... a shield.  
O: Yup.

O: Gonna wait for that to go away and for him to stop shooting missiles.

O: There we go.

_[Breakdown: HAHAHAHA! He's going down! Eat THAT, rust-for-brains!]_

C: Now that's just mean!  
_[Megatron: Omega flees like a coward! Now-- let's finish the job!]_

O: You- you do know how many shots the guy took, right?  
C: [laughs]

O: I mean, he took a lot of shots there, buddy!

[Outro Music]

O: Join us next time for the last part of the Decepticon campaign- The Final Guardian. Fitting name. Uh, thanks for joining us, I'm Owls.

S: I'm Specs.

C: I'm Chezni.

O: Have a good day!

[Outro Music]

**Author's Note:**

> Find Chezni on YouTube [here.](https://www.youtube.com/user/chezni2004/)  
> Icon art used for Owls and Specs in the first two videos was provided by [Kyrin.](https://kyrinthewarrior.tumblr.com/)
> 
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